52: Strange

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52: Strange

The first week of my first year in college was fine. It went well. Some were just so arrogant that I can’t stand to get along with them. The bad thing is that, Elise is not my classmate. Meanwhile, Brayden tried to visit me but he had a very hectic schedule. Hollywood celebrity.

Since it’s Friday, every club in this university are organizing a Friday night party. Note that it is always on Friday. Palaging may party kapag Friday. Hindi dapat ako sasama kasi marami akong assignments and may reports pa akong gagawin tsaka advance study. Napepressure din ako sa parents ko. They have high expectations. Actually, I don’t want to get a business course but that’s what they want. And I am just their daughter and as an obeying child, I will do what they want.

Dahil napilit ako ni Elise, isasama niya ako. Wala pa naman akong napiling club. Pinahinto na rin ako nina daddy na kumanta or anything that is related to music. I don’t get them kung bakit pinapahinto nila ako sa passion ko na mismo sila ay may hilig din sa kanta.   Pinakilala ako ni Elise sa kanyang mga kaibigan. They’re nice too but some of the girls were like scrutinizing me. Parang hindi ako dapat nasa circle of friends nila. Pero dahil hindi naman nang-oOP si Elise ay hindi ako na-out of place.

Kaagad ako natulog pagkarating ko ng dorm. Siguro dahil sa pagod narin sa school tapos nag-party pa kaya agad na nakatulog. Gusto kong umuwi ngayong Sabado pero hindi pa pwede ngayong umuwi. Katapos na ng first term. Magpapakabusy nalang ako sa mga school activities ko.

I got bored in my room and Elise is still sleeping kahit hapon na. Nahuli kasi siya sa pag-uwi kesa sa akin. I found a place where I can spend my spare time. I know that only medical students can access in this conservatory but when I tried to get in, no one stopped me and they’re all busy with their business and I found a secret passageway. This place is cool. It’s like a place for unwinding. It's like a garden dahil sa samo't saring mga halaman at may mga flying little creatures.

Sinuot ko iyong earphone ko tsaka ako dinala ng isip ko sa nakaraan ko at kung ano sana ang nangyayari ngayon. My imagination is now playing with me again kaya nung muntikan ng may mamuong luha ay bumalik din ako sa tamang disposisyon. Good thing I have a small bag with a notebook inside of it. I started writing a poem. Nagsisimula na naman akong mag-sulat. Siguro kahit anong gawin nilang pagbabawal ay hindi talaga mawawala sa akin ang pag-sulat ng kanta at hilig roon.

Gusto ko na siyang lapatan ng tono kaso wala akong gitara. Di ako sanay na walang instrumentong ginagamit sa paglapat. I decided na saka nalang pag-dating ko sa dorm. Nagpatugtog nalang ako at sumasabay na rin sa kanta. Ilang araw narin na hindi ako nakakapag soundtrip ng ganito.

“There is not a single word in the whole world

That could describe the hurt

The dullest knife just sawing back and forth

And ripping through the softest skin there ever was”

I really don't know what had gotten into me.

“And I, I hate to see your heart break

I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close

But I've been there before”

Sinasabi na ngang wag magpatugtog ng sad songs pero heto.. buset naman kasi.

“Love happens all the time

To people who aren't kind

And heroes who are blind

Expecting perfect scripted movie scenes

Who wants an awkward silent mystery?”

This is fucking me up but it makes me to continue this. I'm hurting but continues with this shit. Tanga nga siguro ang mga tao.. kahit nasasaktan na, patuloy parin na nagmamahal.

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