No Control

Love Me Like You Do

Smut scene in this chapter, and it is honestly probably the longest damn smut scene I've ever written. 😅😝

Enjoy!

Chapter 35:

ZAYN

I woke up pretty early, and I was confused and worried when I didn't feel Liam beside me in bed. The sheets were splayed across the bed, letting in a bit of cold air from the room. I wanted to stay in bed, but Liam was more important that getting a full night of sleep.

I turned to the clock first, growing even more worried as it was only three in the morning. What reason could he possibly have to get up this early? Something was clearly bothering him, and I think I knew what- or rather who- it was on his mind.

I climbed out of bed, rubbing my eyes as I walked out of the room, looking down the hall to see dim lighting on in the living room. I walked down the hall, my feet making small pattering noises against the cold flooring.

"Liam?" I asked as soon as I walked into the living room, seeing him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He looked up at me as I called him, and his eyes were red-rimmed from crying. "What's wrong?" I asked gently, walking over to him and wrapping my arms around him.

"Nothing. Not really, anyway. I just can't stop thinking about everything my mum said today. I can't stop thinking about how she looked." He said, leaning into my touch more. "She actually looked sorry, Zayn. Her eyes held so much regret, and a part of me just wanted to break down and forgive her right then and there, but I can't! It's not right!"

It was hard to be his rock and give him advice on this when I didn't know exactly how he was feeling. I had no idea how it felt to get treated so wrongly by your parents and then have one of them want to come back into your life. It was a complicated situation, and I didn't know how to really deal with it. Still, I knew I wanted Liam to be happy, and I knew what he deserved.

"I can't help you make the decision on whether you should let her back into your life or not, but I do know one thing, Liam. You deserve the kind of love a mother is suppose to give her son. You deserve to have that figure in your life. You deserve nothing but gentle and caring touches. You don't deserve all of this pain and angst. And I wish this wasn't so complicated for you, but you have to decide what you want to do. No matter what, I'll always be by your side. I'll be right here every step of the way." I promised, kissing his head.

"I know, and I am so thankful for that, but this is so much to process. I still feel like that trapped little boy. The boy who loved his mum unconditionally but wanted to hate her with all of his guts. I wanted to turn away and never look back, and I finally did, but now she's here. And I just... I feel like letting her in would ruin everything." He whispered.

"What do you mean everything?" I asked, just wanting him to explain more. I needed to know what was going on in his head right now to help him the best that I could. I needed to look at things from his reasoning and prospective.

He sat up, pulling out of my hold as he turned to look at me. "Well, first off, what if forgiving her just makes it seem like everything she's ever done to me was okay? What if she thinks that all I went through wasn't that big of a deal because I was able to take her accept her apologies for all of the bruises and cuts and torture?" He asked, looking even more distressed and disturbed as he continued.

"What about my dad? Huh? What happens when he finally gets out of prison? Does he run back to my mum? Will she forgive him and allow him to do the same thing? To take over our lives the same way because I sure as hell wouldn't give him the satisfaction." He growled out, and I smiled a little at how strong he was about it.