Secret Mind ✓

Diary entry 18 - She's a broken girl.

Things won't be okay if she doesn't do something about it. If she doesn't seek help or guidance.

She needs a patient shoulder to cry on, a strong torso to hold onto and a huge heart to hear her out.

But she is depriving herself of all those things, by not opening up. But then again, I can't blame her. She feels like she has no one and the people that try to reach out to her, she is oblivious to.

"I'm worthless! I'm fat and ugly and stupid and I'm a slut!"

Her words ring in my ears harmfully.

"Let me go! Let me go to die and do everyone a favour!"

"I'm gonna bloody kill that bitch that said those nasty things to her." I mumble angrily.

Whoever said that must have some nerve and no heart.

How could someone be so ruthless? How could someone be so stupid? How could someone be so...mean?

Evangeline's been through so much with nobody to pick her up when she falls down.

If anything she is one of the strongest people I know. She is one of the smartest people I know and she defiantly is not worthless or not fat. She is the most beautiful girl I've ever had the honour of meeting but what she's doing to herself is unhealthy.

And with the help of her bully, she's walking on thin string. Her life will end soon if I don't do anything to help her. And I will do all in my power to help her.

I look down at Evangeline's sleeping figure. Her chest rises and falls slowly. She looks so innocent it is hard to believe someone would want to hurt her.

I grow wary of her. Does she self harm?

No! She said she doesn't.

But she also said she was fine and now she's sleeping one you after having a breakdown.

I have an internal argument with myself debating on the possibilities of her hurting herself.

I decide she needs her space and I'm not going to go on a scavenger hunt around her body - as weird and awkward as that sounds.

She shifts on my body and her chest is pressed against mine. My breathing stops and I stare at her shocked. She wraps her arms around my torso and pushes her head hard into my chest.

She hugs me like I'm her teddy bear that helps her sleep at night. One that she can't live without, one that means the world to her.

I carefully wrap my arms around her petite frame and hug her closer to me.

"You mean the world to me Blossom," I whisper in her ear. She shivers in my grasp and I smile. It's not cold, that's for sure. "Don't you ever doubt that."

She mummers something in her sleepy state. I make out a few words. 'Lost' 'help' 'alone' 'save me'.

The last one puts me in full panic mode. It's like the part of her brain that she doesn't listen to - the part that says 'Tell someone. Open up'. - is taking advantage of her state and forcing her to whisper things that she would never say if she were in her right mind.