CAPTURED

ONE

I never got any letters

I never got any phonecalls.

I never got anything actually.

I was alone from the moment i got in this place. This new world i hardly call life or a perfect fantasy. No this was much worse. Worse than hell actually.

It's called prison.

This place thinks were all some kind of aliën. Who they can treat without any respect cause we did something "wrong". Well thats what all the guards and psycologists and counselers think. They all think were some kind of fucked up person. But i tell you something. I'm not, no i mean we are not.

Yes we did something wrong in the eyes of society and that something had to be punished obvious otherwise we wouldn't be in here. In this place i called home for the past four years.

After many counseling they kind of gave up on me. The only one i can talk to is this counseler called mister Conrad and he is someone i can talk to about anything. He is an older man but i think he really understands me. He gets me and listens to me. What i think is great, you need someone in here that listens.

'Alex it's almost time for dinner where were you' Jamie my cellmate asked. 'Sorry dozed off there for a minute, let's go' i said and walked with her to the cafeteria. Jamie is one of my closest friends in this place. She can be real understanding, loving and caring. She has her moments, but she can be a real pain in the ass too. Jamie needs to be in here much longer than myself. Why she is in here doesn't really matter. I don't look in the past, at least not anymore. My point of view on the world changed once I came here. Jamie is in some ways the same as me. Like we both hate the same people, that counts right? But on the other hand we are nothing a like. For example I have dark hair, while Jamie is dirty blonde and tall like really really tall. But in some reason we work. It's really like highschool all over again. You have all kinds of people in here and we all cling together as one.

Of course you have the latina's, the girls who look like they are perfect and don't need to lose weight, or need make up. Then the black woman of course. Those woman are amazing and we all have a different story. Even if i am from a different culture i adore them. You have the racist white people who are all among god, the asians and then there is me.

And Jamie. We cling together i guess. We are great together. Better together then alone right? Were stronger when we are together. We don't really cling to someone else. We just hang out with all of them.

' What is wrong with her today does she do this often' Lucia asked one of the coloured woman.

'She did it this morning as well' Jamie said.

'Sorry, i'm not really there sorry' i said to the girls.

'So Lucia how are you?'

' You only don't know cause you neglected us'

'I'm sorry, we should hang out more'

'Agree' Lucia said and turned to her other friends Dana, Marie and Shanley.

Jamie kicked me under the table. 'Ouch' i hissed to her.

'What is up with you'

'I don't know not in the mood i think'

'We all aren't in the mood in this place nothing new but seriously what is up with you'

'Don't worry about it alright, nothing important' she nodded and with that the subject was closed. But not in my head. It still wandered around. The thought what if i ever got out of here.

Away from the shitty people, the shitty food and those ugly suits. And not forget those horrible bunks here. I sighed and pretended to hear the conversation. 'So Alex how about you, how did your family handle it that you were send to prison' Shanley asked me one of the friends from Lucia. 'Well my family just pretended like i never existed so they pretended that i wasn't their family anymore. So their daughter never went to prison' i said and took a sip of this horrible water. But horrible or not it still felt great. Refreshing. 'Oh' the 23 year old Shanley said. I didn't think she would have expected that. 'That is shit' Dana the other friend said.

'You can say that'

'Well my family came every visiting day and just rambled on what i did wrong for all the others to hear, she even brought my grandma it was so humiliating' Jamie said. And i wanted to hit her, her family did stop by. Her family did come, mine didn't even called once.

'Don't worry about it, you shouldn't care. You are amazing and they have to miss this awesomeness in their lives' i said and put my fake smile on.

LIE.

I do care about that but i won't show that to them. Then i'm weak and something you don't want is to be found weak in a prison. It makes you an easy target for all kind of people in here. Even for the guards.

'Oh please you were not embaressed you made it like that. You know what is bad when they expect me to call every moment i get the chance what do those people think that i want to call them like all the time' Dana said. If i was that lucky.

'Ridiculous right' i said to get back in the conversation.

'Alright inmates back to your cells' the head guard said and we walked back. 'I beg for a shower after today i feel so dirty' i said. Jamie nodded. 'I agree' she said while we walked into our bunks.

I got my showerbag and walked to the crappy showers. The walls were failing and there wasn't much hot water and there is always this creapy guard who wants to peek in here. I looked in the mirror and saw a girl i didn't recognize. This girl i saw was dirty, yellow-ish teeth, broken lips, and this frown that looks like it's never going to leave my head ever. The result of four years prison i guess. I put on some lipbalm before hopping in the shower.

I undressed myself and put the water on. The water was streaming over my body taking every bit of dirt with it. The water felt amazing, refreshing and cold. This coldness means i can still feel and that is amazing. That feeling, those chills it reminds me of home.

I'm that kind of person who always needs a extra blanket at night. Who is always cold. It reminds me of home, my old bed, my old room. I sighed before i threw my face under the shower but my thougts got interupted by this stupid guard. 'Hury inmate' and it brought me back to the prison that we only have seconds to shower and get ready for bed.

This is life now and believe me when i say it. I don't like any of it. It's home now but i rather go out and find a new home for myself. I got into some pyjamas and walked back. Jamie was already good for bed.

'What took you so long' she asked.

'Just enjoyed my shower before i got interupted'

'That's life i guess'

'No that is prison'

'Touché' she said and we layed in our beds.

'Jamie what do you wanna do when you get out' i asked her in whispers.

'You mean if i ever get out'

'Yeah'

'I want to travel to all the country's, eat all kind of weard food and live my life and trying not to get back in here ever what about you'

'Same' i said before the lights went out.