Forbidden Love

Chapter Fourteen

Jake and I hosted a candle lighting for Mrs. May on the football field behind the school. Many students, teachers and Mrs. May's family members arrived. To start the candle lighting off, Jake and I had arranged the school chorus to sing a few songs. My eyes eventually teared up midway through one of the songs. I looked around to see frowns on faces and people who put on a brave front. Jesse sat in the front row and shed a few tears. My phone vibrated in my hand. How does it feel to loose another mother? Xoxo.
I bit my lip as tears streamed down my cheeks. Pretty shitty, I answered looking up into the orange and pink sky. When the singing stopped, Jake went up to the microphone, "The band put together a series of songs to represent the loving memory of Mrs. May."
Jake walked up to me while wiping tears away before they could roll down his cheeks. "Are you alright?" Jake asked me with a smile.
I smiled, "I'm hanging in there."
"Your face is as red as your hair," Jake kindly teased.
I laughed sadly as Jake put his arm around my shoulders and rubbed them out of comfort.
One by one students and teachers went up to microphone and shared loving words, memories and how they felt about Mrs. May. I was terrible in front of a large crowd. My knees would always shake as if they were going to fall off and I would always stutter. Despite my stage fright, I knew that if I didn't say anything, I could never forgive myself. I took a giant, silent breath and went up to the microphone. "I've known Mrs. May for almost two years from her waving and saying hello to me in the hallway, always asking me how I was doing. This year I had the change to get to know her. Mrs. May," I paused as I could feel my eyes water. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. My eyes caught Peter coming down to the football field and took the empty seat next to Jesse. "Always gave me advice on everything, guided me, share laughs and stories. Mrs. May was pregnant, she was going to have a baby girl and the name of her baby was going to be Cassie. Mrs. May said it was the perfect combo of her and her husband's name. I know Mrs. May was going to be an excellent mother because in my eyes, Mrs. May was my second mother," I finished and stepped to the side to hear people clap.
Jake and I passed out candles and light them, making them glow brightly though the dark. Peter came up to me. He looked down at me and held out a piece of my red hair, "I like it," Peter told me with a slight smile.
"Thank you," I whispered. "How was your grandmother's funeral?" I asked needing to focus on something else for a second to give my eyes a rest on producing tears.
"Sad, but good. I gave her a rose for you."
"Roses are my favorite," I confessed.
After the candles were blown out by the gentle wind powered by lips of people who have said their quiet farewells. Jesse came up to Peter and I. He smiled at me, "Thank you so much Cassie. You have no idea how much this means to me, how much Cathy would appreciate this. The funeral is coming up soon. I'm sure if you need a ride either Mr. Matthews, one of the teachers or your friends, myself, would be more than glad to give you a lift."
"I just to have to run it by my father, but yes I definitely will be there."
Jesse smiled and started walking away. "Wait!" I shouted while walking fast toward him to catch up to him. "Will you by any chance be at the station tomorrow?"
"Mostly likely why?"
"Just wondering," I said casually. "I'm working on my story and thought it would help you get your mind off of things therefore help you think clearly to catch this depraved man."
"Yeah," Jesse smiled, "I might take you up on that. Come by if you can."
Peter walked up to me and smiled, "Doing a little research are we?"
"Having solid facts is better than having phony evidence that makes you look brainless."
"I guess you're right. Do you need a ride home?"
"I would like that thank you."
Peter put his car in park in front of the stairs to lead me up the front door. He held my hand as he looked at me. I missed him so much, I thought as I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb. Peter leaned close and kissed my cheek softly. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you needed me most," Peter apologized.
"You're here now and that's what matters. You picked up your phone even when you were dealing with your own stuff, it shows a lot Peter."
"It just proves to you that you can call me no matter what and tell me whatever you need to."
I brushed my fingers into his hair and laid my lips on his. "Thank you for everything you do for me."
"You're welcome," Peter replied as his cheeks started to appear red.
I thanked Peter once more for the ride home and watched Peter drive away until I could no longer see the back of his car.
Dad was sitting on the couch in defeat. I wondered what was the matter with him. Dad looked up at me, realizing that I had came home. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"I lost my job," Dad answered as his face was in his hand ashamed.
I sat down next to Dad, "Did you fail the drug test?"
Dad looked at me. He placed his hand firmly around my neck and began squeezing it. "You know I did. I don't need you rubbing it in my face!" Dad roared.
"I'm sorry," I tried to say in short breaths.
Dad grabbed my hair and dragged me into the kitchen. "You're mother used to do the same thing!" Dad shouted while throwing me onto the floor.
"You don't deserve to talk about my mother in any form!" I yelled.
Dad took a knife off of the dish rack. He held it to the tip of my throat, "I should have killed you too."
"Then do it," I begged him as I took his hand and made him press the kitchen knife up against my throat tightly.
"You want to die, don't you?" Dad laughed poisonously. He shook his head and released the pressure of the knife against my throat as he stood up, "Well, keeping you alive with certainly be the new torture you endure."
I took a deep breath as he walked into the living room. I got up from the kitchen floor and walked into my room. I leaned up against the door and cried softly as I admitted to myself, I do, I do want to die.

What an ass that guy is—grr!
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