In Touch - L.T 1D

Chapter Sixty Eight

Chapter Sixty Eight

Mimi.

I hate that the last thing we did was fight. That was five days ago love and I've barely slept. Even if I do fall asleep, I end up waking up from a nightmare. They're always about losing you. Always.

I could never live with myself if anything happened to you Mimi. It's just, I don't want to live without you. You are my world Mimi. You mean everything to me. Without you I have no life. Not even the fans could get me through losing you princess.

I throw the paper back onto the table, unable to finish reading it. I've only read two letters and it's already becoming too much. I can barely contain the sobs that are trying to escape my mouth. I can barely see through the tears that are clouding my eyes. I can barely stop my hands from shaking.

I don't know whether finding these letters was a blessing or a curse. The fact that now I know how Louis feels, how the boys felt, it sort of a good thing but at the same time it's not. What if Louis doesn't feel that way anymore? I was gone for four months. Feelings could have changed in that time. A lot could have happened in that time.

But something's missing. I don't know what it is but something is missing. And it's not just that one piece of the puzzle. It's like having a whole puzzle and and you only have the outside pieces, every other piece is missing. I've created the border of my puzzle but I still have to fill in all the missing pieces.

And it is literally torture.

Some days, I feel like there are only a few missing pieces but then other days, I wake up and I can barely recall what the original image looked like. And that's the worst part. Walking downstairs to see the boys and having to act like everything is perfectly fine even though I feel like I'm forgetting more than I usually am.

As I look back down at the table, I'm shocked when I spot a letter that is dated from only a couple of weeks back. I quickly scoop it up, my eyes scanning the messy scrawl that lines the paper.

Hi princess.

Should I even call you that anymore princess?

You came home eight weeks ago Mim. It was torture. I walked outside the house and there you were, wrapped in a blanket on the driveway. Everything that happened after that was a blur. I barely remember getting in the back of the ambulance with you and holding onto your hand for dear life, like you would disappear any second.

But I do remember the moment when I though you died. I was sitting in the hospital room, talking to you and then the heart rate monitor just flat lined. I...I didn't even know what to do. I was just...I can't even explain how I was feeling. It was torture.

And then the doctor came out after and started off his sentence with the words 'I'm sorry'. I wasn't there to hear the rest of it but apparently something was wrong with the heart monitor so it flat lined.

But for goodness sakes! I mean, who the hell starts off a sentence with those words when their loved ones thing that they're dead! I just...ugh. I was so annoyed when I found out. That was after I sent thanks to the gods about how grateful I am that you are alive.

But then you woke up and you didn't remember anything. You didn't remember anything from the last year of your life. I was, I still am, distraught. I didn't know what to do. You don't remember any of our feelings for each other. You don't remember any of the conversations we've ever had. You don't remember anything and you have no idea how hard it is to look at your beautiful face only to see you staring back at me with confusion in your eyes.

I don't know what to do. I want to hold out hope that you will remember, like everyone says you will, but I can't. Everyday I lose a little bit of hope. I try to hold onto it but it's hard to look at you everyday and not be able to touch you or talk to you the way I used to.

Please princess, I hope you remember soon.

I love you so very much,

Louis xoxo

I let the letter fall back to the table, the paper floating gently through the air. I feel myself sway on the spot, so I grab onto the back of the chair in hopes that I will stay standing upright. So they all thought that I died because there was something wrong with the heart rate monitor.

But Louis...Oh poor Louis. I don't even know where to start. I feel so terribly bad for him. He was put through hell and back while I was gone only for me to wake up and not remember anything about him. I mean, not that I remember that stuff now but still. My point is that he has been through hell and back about fifty times in the last six months, all because of me.

"Mimi?"

I let out a small scream, spinning around to see a shirtless Louis standing in front of me, "Jesus Lou! You scared me."

"Sorry love," he mumbles as a small smirk appears on his lips.

"I'm glad that this amuses you."

"It does indeed. Now, how can I help you Mim?"

I watch him as he runs the towel through his wet hair, easily distracting me from my real reason of being in here. If my reason of being in here was to see a shirtless Louis Tomlinson then my goal would be complete. Alas, it is not.

"I...I don't even know where to start Lou," I whisper while looking down at the ground.

"How about you start from the beginning," he mumbles while lifting my chin up with his thumb and forefinger, my shock of finding him standing right in front of me shining in my eyes.

"Alright."

"Good. Let's sit," he says as he walks towards the bed.

Hesitantly, I take a step towards him, suddenly regretting my decision to be brave and take a chance.

Well well well. What will happen now I wonder!?!?!?!

Lol. So the other day when I wrote this chapter and the rest of my book, I sent it to my cousin to read and then this morning I decided to change it so now she's going to be pretty angry at me! lol soz not soz BronteW 

I've actually got a collab in the works right now with her so that is super exciting. Now guys, I have a few other books that are on my computer, saved away just waiting to be published. I want your opinions on which one I should rewrite and publish. These are the choices;

- Undercover

- Mystery Girl

- Behind The Scenes

- Just Hold On

- Retweet

- Run Away

- Secret Identity

- Stay

- Unpopular

- You Promised

Those are just a few of my books that I have hidden away, waiting to be used. Now, which ones do you guys want to see the most? Pick your top three and comment them so I can get a feel for where you are coming from.

QOTC: If a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo