Get Naked You Dicks. I Paid For This Shit.

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Chapter 35:

Jessica's POV:

"Excuse me."

"Excuse me."

"Pardon me.'

"Your shirt is fab-Louis."

"Yes, these are pajama pants."

"Uh-uh, bitch. You did not just call Niall, Niel. Get him, girls."

"Please move."

"I love your poster."

"Yes, I do think Liam will marry you."

"Excuse me."

"Do. You. Not. Comprehend. What. I. Am. Saying?"

"Ah, finally," I sighed, taking no time to fall down into my extremely uncomfortable, front row seats. You'd think that if these girls paid over $500 for tickets this close to the stage, the least they could do would be to add cushions to the chairs.

Anyways, I did it. I can now say that I sat front row at a One Direction concert, decked out in a full disguise and wearing 1D merchandise on every physical part of my body. Although, I'm not sure how long I could last here. This blonde wig is the itchiest thing I've ever had to endure in my life.

"It's hectic isn't it?" the girl sitting to my right asked, referring to the massive crowd of girls I just shoved my way through to get to my seat. I sighed, looking her over. She seemed like a pretty normal directioner to me. A Zayn shirt, One Direction bracelets, the word 'NIALL' painted on her forehead, and a sucky poster. Let's be real, most of the posters people make suck. I know, for one, that mine is obviously the best one here.

"It's crazy," I agreed, slumping back into my chair and adjusting the black glasses covering my face. Lou and I agreed that colored contacts would be a little too much, so we settled with this in the end. The blonde wig was curled at the tips and is slightly longer than my real hair. I kept it in place with a One Direction hat we had found somewhere in the boys' hair luggage.

I sported a typical One Direction shirt and a hoodie that I kept unzipped. Since I'm pretty sure that they don't make 1D pants, besides sweatpants, we found a pair of loose, flannel One Direction pajama pants and wore them over some jeans in case an accident happens. One Direction shoes we also quite easy to find surprisingly.

Lou and I took a quick trip to Walmart during the boys' sound check this morning and bought key chains and stickers. We stuck them everywhere on my body that was not covered with a face or name. And with a spare twenty minutes, Lou and I whipped up a poster using her sarcasm and crude language. Let's just say that I was, no doubt, the coolest person here.

If I had to pick a word to describe directioners, it'd be bipolar. I entered the arena from the front where everyone else came in. We took a big risk with my disguise seeing as it could fall off any second. Surprisingly, I got four 'you look familiar' comments so far. I wasn't expecting anyone to recognize the real me at all. That and half the girls complimented my fashion choice. The other half gave me rude looks, which I took no time into making a worse one back.

"I, for one, thank God I'm not as crazy of a directioner as they seem. In fact, I am just a normal fan," she smiled broadly at me before turning back to the empty stage. I faced forward and widened my eyes in a sarcastic 'cool' face. A normal fan? Which is why you're wearing their merchandise, have Niall's name painted on your face, and a poster that says 'HARRY! GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR GRAVY!' along with your number on the bottom. Does she not know what year this is? Might as well have a sign that says 'I Hate Spoons' or 'I Love Carrots'.

"I am one of the biggest directioners out there. Their just so adorable and gorgeous and..." the girl on my left sighed, leaving the sentence to finish itself. She was around the same age as the 'fan-not-directioner' on my right, 15 or 16. They also wore almost identical outfits.

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