The Lucky One

chapter 42

Copyright (c) akm

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Chapter Forty-Two:

Sunday

After we just hung around the mall and shops, he took me home.  I knew he was dying to kiss me, but he resisted.  Instead, he just gave me a hug and a smile and walked back to his car.  I sighed, looking at the sunset in the distance.  What was I going to do?  I felt hopeless and lost.

            I slugged myself to my room, closing the door and face-planting onto my bed.  Nathan . . . I wanted Nathan so badly.  I wanted him to hold me and hug me and kiss me and tell me he loved me more than anything.  Why did he do that to me?  The tears came again and didn't stop for a while.  Even when Rachel called for pizza dinner, I didn't go.  I couldn't eat.  The real pain hit me then, and not even pizza could help me.  Only one thing could, the one thing that was tearing me apart.  I wanted my best friend.

            Rachel came into my room after a few minutes, noticing my absence on one of my favorite dinners.  I didn't want her to find me looking like a tomato, just under the covers curled up in a ball.  But she did, and looked at me no different than she would if I was laughing.  She just scooted under the covers with me and held me while I cried.  I heard my dad's footsteps approach, pause, and then go back downstairs.  I didn't want him to see me cry, either.

            "Hey, it's going to be okay, Pammy," she murmured in my hair, pulling me closer.  It was the first time in a long time where I felt the motherly hold.  The one that was the most comforting in the entire world to little kids, or those girls who need a shoulder to cry on when they're having one of those days.  Even boys look to this hold, and anyone who says otherwise is lying.

            "I just don't know what to do," I choked out, closing my eyes as I inhaled her cinnamon perfume. 

            "It'll work out the way it's supposed to be, hun, that's how life is.  We all have some sucky times, but we have to in order to see just how beautiful the rainbow is afterwards.  You'll see, that pretty smile will be on your face in no time," she told me gently, lifting my chin up.  "Everybody cries.  Don't feel ashamed."

            "I feel so alone," I whispered.  "Like my whole heart just shattered."

            "That's the beautiful thing.  You're never alone.  You are always loved by people all around you.  And you're amazing heart will mend with time.  I'll leave you alone."

            She started to get up, but I pulled her back.  "Don't leave me.  Please.  Just stay a little longer.  I might be able to sleep a little if you do," I whispered.

            "Okay, I'll stay.  Know what helps me?  Thinking of my favorite song and humming or singing it out loud.  Your dad actually doesn't mind when I do that.  Usually it helps most if it's a soothing song.  Obviously, humming a song like 'I Like It' by Enrique Iglesias probably won't work."

            I thought to myself for a minute.  Then, without any other sound, I just started singing the beginning of "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes, a song I'd loved since I first heard it on the radio.  And to my surprise, Rachel sang with me.  Our voices together were soft, even.  Of course we didn't sound like an amazing new band, but I liked how it made the atmosphere feel.  And she was pretty good alone.

            My eyes started drooping and I couldn't keep singing.  I kept yawning and I was getting too tired.  She kept singing for me, and I think it was about halfway through the song when I entirely fell asleep.