All I wanted was you..

I am still here. I can do this. I am going to do this.

I sat up and was covered in sweat.

Breathe

I turn to look at the guy laying next to me on the floor sleeping.

Man he is a heavy sleeper.

I sighed and went to the bathroom and wash my face.

I couldn't even think about going back to sleep so I snuck out of the room and walked bare foot and in his shirt to the elevator and pushed the button.

I leaned up against the walls of the elevator and watched the lights go from on number to the next and then finally stop at the letter R.

The doors dinged opened and I walked out into the roof and looked over the ledge.

And saw the slowly rising light that was the sun.

I sat down and thought about the dream I had...well more like nightmare.

Its been years...literally years.

I pulled my knees to me and sat looking at the slowly rising sun.

I don't think I have been up for a sunrise in quite some time.

Everything's changing.

I don't know if I am ready...I think I am or else I wouldn't have said yes to Rob.

I am ready to start again.

Its time.

But these memories, they are never ending nightmares.

What can I do about them?

I got up at went to the edge of the roof and lend against the ledge and looked down at everything.

Can I let myself be happy?

Can I?

Better question is would Nathan let me be happy?

His memory is the one that is haunting me.

The guy who shattered my heart to a million pieces and let me fragile.

But with help from Dan and Cor I was put together again.

Not like how I was before but I am still here.

I am still living and breathing.

And then I thought about it...he may have damaged me but I am still here...almost willing to let another in.

Willing to be that open and honest with someone else.

To let him know everything that I am, and the issues I come with.

I am still here.

I can do this.

I am going to do this.

I heard the elevator door ding and I knew who it was so I didn't turn around.

He came up behind me and held me tight and kissed my head.

"Oh thank god you are here."

"Where else would I go?"

"I thought you might have done home but I saw your bag and your clothes and shoes still there. I was worried. I woke up and you weren't there. I looked crazy to the hotel employees running around everywhere looking for you in my sweats and old t-shirt and no shoes."

He buried his face in my hair.

"I am sorry I didn't mean to worry you. I just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep."

"It's alright just don't do that to me okay?"

"Okay."

I smirked and turned to see him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I really am sorry about that."

"Like I said don't do it again okay?"

"I won't."

He looked at me and noticed my wardrobe.

"Uh can I get you inside before anyone sees you?"

"Uh Why?"

"You are only wearing my shirt that's why."

"Oh yeah lets go."

I took my hand and lead the way.

We go to his room.

"Uh Rob do you mind if I use your shower?"

"Yeah sure the towels and robes are in the small closet in the bathroom."

"Alright."

I needed to wash off the sweat and I needed some time to think.

As soon as I stepped out I realized I didn't bring my clothes with me.

"Shit. Now what?"

I looked through the closet for a big towel and saw the robe and took that.

I put it on and went out.

"Rob?... Rob?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"I am in the sitting room what is it?"

"Uh do you know where I put my dress?"

"Oh"

He ran into the bedroom and saw me in the bathrobe.

He stared at me and blushed.

"I uh-I put it in the big closet to hang...I will just go back to writing."

"Thanks."

I went to the closet and saw it hanging there next to his jackets and shirts.

I slipped off my robe and slipped it on.

I couldn't tie the bow in the back.

"Uh help? Rob?"

He came in the room.

"What is it Belinda?"

"I cant tie the bow in the back could you help me?"

"Sure."

He grabbed the material and felt him tie it.

"here you go.."

His hands held my waist and started to roam.

The dress I was wearing exposed my back and his fingers ran up my back.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip.

I turned around and faced him.

I got on my tip toes and kissed him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

He smiled into the kiss and grabbed my waist and picked me up and I without thinking wrapped my legs around his waist.

He held me close to him.

"Its so you won't have to be on your tip toes."

"So thoughtful aren't you."

"I like to think so."

"haha alright put me down Mr. Pattinson"

"Do I have to?"

"yes before you get the wrong idea."

"fine."

He gave me another kiss and put me down.

There was something I should tell him...before that goes any further.

"Rob there is something I have to tell you."

"Alright what is it?"

I closed my eyes and then took a deep breath.

"Can you sit down please?"

He looked a little worried.

"You are kind of scaring me what is it?"

"I don't think it is something big...well I hope its not big."

"What?"

"I um. I uh....I'm...i-i-i."

"Belinda out with it or I am going to think the worst."

"Okay I am a virgin."