Chapter 18

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I stared at the pool of blood, not fully aware of what it was anymore. My heart thumped unevenly and familiarly. Breath hitched in my throat and my bottom lip trembled.  

"Charlotte" Liam whispered, his voice strained "they need help" 

I stayed silent. I tried to help Niall and look what happened. It was my fault Niall was dead. I should have helped them fight! I should have put more pressure on. I should have done more than I did.  

"Charlotte?" Harry shook me a little, bringing me out of the daze.  

I blinked up at him, a little incomprehensible.  

"Your the only one who knows how to do it" Harry said softly.  

I nodded slowly and got to my feet.  

"We...we need to get them downstairs" I didn't recognize my own voice.  

Harry picked up Louis and Zayn somehow managed to get McKenna down as well.  

"Who first?" I murmured.  

"McKenna" Louis said, his words barely audible.  

I got out everything I needed and got to work. Even as I stitched, McKenna stared at the ceiling unblinking and unfeeling.  

She was in shock; having just witnessed her boyfriends murder. Although I didn't pull the trigger, I felt equally guilty.  

My stomach twisted uncomfortably and a sob was lodged in my throat. It's not the time to break down. I couldn't be at fault for three deaths tonight.  

I did all I could do for McKenna; stitching the cuts, bandaging what I could, and putting ice on her bruised ribs.  

I moved onto Louis, who was now unconscious. I did the same to him then sat back. I was still covered in Niall's lifeblood.  

I got up slowly, wanting the drying sticky liquid off me.  

Everyone was still silent, still trying to process what happened.  

I went upstairs slowly and went into my room. I stripped off all my clothes and put them in the trash.  

I stepped into the shower and flinched when the scalding hot water touched my skin but I didn't care.  

I watched the water turn from red, to a rosy pink, to clear. That's when my emotions hit me; fear, anger, hopelessness, weakness, powerless, terror, sorrow.  

I sat down in the tub, the tears finally over flowing. I sobbed into my knees and hands.  

I would never see Niall's sweet smile again. I would never hear him sing McKenna back to sleep. I would never hear his laugh when the boys did something funny.  

I would never see Niall again.  

** 

I put two bowls of soups on two separate trays that already held glasses of water and Advil. Harry came back in.  

"Need some help bringing those down?" He offered quietly. It had been two days since Niall's death and the house had been silent except for the occasional sob.  

"Sure" I mumbled back. We shuffled down to the basement where Louis and McKenna lay.  

She still had not moved or spoken more then a few words. Her eyes were at the exact same spot they were when we first came down here.  

"McKenna, you need to eat something" I said. I sat down and put the tray on her. She didn't move.  

"Please McKenna, Niall wouldn't want this" She flinched at the mention of him.  

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