When I returned home that morning, Bridget was waiting at the door. She gave me a huge hug, saying that she was sorry for what happened the night before. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She was so worried.
And the next three days were a whirl-wind, and they lead up to the biggest blow of all.
The wake and funeral.
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Bridget had laid out a white blouse with black lace and a black skirt for me to wear to the funeral. I put it on silently, trying to keep the tears down. Eventually they came, but I promised myself that I wouldn't cry at the funeral.
Adam drove us to the church, and the priest who was speaking at the funeral was waiting for us. A few of the people from Blue Lake were starting to arrive.
The priest approached me, a sad look plastered on his face.
"Ms.Carter, I am deeply sorry for your loss." He said.
I forced the tears back. "Thank you. He's...in a better place now."
"I was wondering if you would like to say your final goodbyes before we let others see him. You, and Ms. O'Neal."
I nodded solemnly. He lead me to a small room that was dimly lit by candles. I went inside, and he shut the door behind me, wanting to give me privacy.
It was strange to be in this silent room, with only the body of my father. He looked pale, and surprising calm and at peace.
I felt tears fill my eyes as I whispered, "Hi Dad."
Of course he didn't respond, which tore at my heart.
"Are...are you happier up there? With Mom? I...I bet that sh-she's happy to see you. I-I know that you missed her a lot. Probably more than you miss me now." I said, kneeling down next to him. I held down a sob. I felt like I was seeing my world fall apart.
"I-I'm sorry, Dad. For all of the horrible things I said to you, for ignoring you when you needed me. I could have been with you when you crashed. I could have...I could be with you right now." I choked. I touched his hand, wishing that he could have held it.
"I didn't mean it when I said I hate you. I could never hate you. I love you, Daddy." I said, the tears finally spilling down my cheeks. "And I need you here right now."
Then I lost it.
"Wake up, Dad. Please, I need you here. I love you. Please, Daddy. I'm lost, Dad. Please just come back." I said, unable to control the sobs that shook my entire body.
I whispered, barely able to speak. "Come back, Daddy. I need you. I need you..."
I blinked tears out of my eyes. I felt as though I would collapse if I stood there any longer.
Therefore, I said two final words.
"Goodbye, Dad."
I ran out of the room, and Adam immediately spotted my tears. He tried to capture me in his arms, but I pushed away from him. I sprinted to the womans' bathroom in the church, and hid in one of the stalls, bawling like a baby.
I heard a knock on the stall door.
"Hadley? Please open up." Bridget's soft voice echoed in the tiled room.
"I want to be alone," I spit out.
"Please open the door, Hadley. I really want to talk to you."
