The Heart Wants What It Wants

Chapter 14

15th of April 2017

A fifteen year old girl watched, as her phone twitched uncontrollably. Aquamarines, dulled by the dark sheen of life, glared as she waited for someone to contact her. For someone to remember that she existed.  As the rain hammered onto the roof of the bus shelter, she sighed and dragged her blonde locks in front of her face.

No way hun, her mind scolded, a habit she'd developed over the past few months. Since August 2016.

When she started dating Lucas.

When Riley stopped smiling.

Her bony arms self consciously covered her face, as a geriatric bus driver stared at her as his bus drove past her, leaving her to wallow in her dungeon of sadness. She wrapped her slate grey raincoat around her thin frame, and stumbled through a maze of water.

Light began to shine, and Maya Hart sighed as she felt the welcoming embrace of the sun against her face, blocking the rain. She watched the shadows, as trees stood stalwart, protecting the people and animals beneath. Black shapes danced across the grass, as people's shadows moved, contrast.

She jogged in the direction of her apartment, letting her locks bounce loosely around her face, trying to ignore the voices in her head.

You're worthless.

You're too fat.

Stop eating.

You're not good enough.

Suddenly, her phone rang.

Another text.

From Ranger Rick.

Yes, he was the perfect boyfriend. He called her everyday, and recounted the most hilarious, cringeworthy and easy to make fun of, stories from Texas. He took her out once a fortnight, and kissed her goodnight. They argued, and they liked. But Maya knew something was missing.

RangerRick: I think we should just be friends.

Those tiny black words on her screen began to dig a gigantic black hole in her heart. She felt her breathing quicken, and a knife stab her ribs, screaming helplessly. She shrugged it off. She didn't care about Lucas like that. He was her friend.

Pancake: Agreed.

Her fingers gingerly flew across the keyboard, sending her response and then switching her phone on silent.

She felt as if her feet barely touched the ground, as she floated through the twists of New York, finding refuge in the billowing trees. With her bony arms, she dragged her thin body up into the top of the branches and felt her breathing quicken. Another problem to add to the list. The dappled sunlight dripped onto her face through the veil of leaves, and Maya felt the heat dry the tears quickly slipping down her face.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar slash of purple, whipping through the air. Maya watched intently as a brown haired girl with violet highlights sprint towards the traffic light.

Her instincts quickly leapt into action, and Maya fell gracefully, landing with a soft thump in a pile of chasing dirt. She felt an entangled knot grow in her stomach as she tiptoed behind her best friend, clandestine.

Riley had been...different.

She no longer smiled. For anything. Not even Maya or ring power or Rileytown or the bay window. She burnt all of her clothes at the beginning of June 2016, and covered her slim figure in depressing black ensembles. She locked her bedroom door and the bay window, and when she had let her friends crawl in, she merely stared at the ceiling. She studied every single second of her spare time, and sometimes it felt like she was on period more than once a month.