Ch. 14

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That was the history of my cottagers. I admired their virtues, and hated the vices they hated. Crime was a strange concept to me, as I was so used to kindness shown by the family. Being honest to my story requires me to tell you this tale fully, I must share with you this story, which occurred at the beginning of the month of August that very year.

One night, while I was collecting wood for the cottagers, I found a bag which contained books. I took it home. The books were Paradise Lost, Plutarch's Lives, and Sorrows of Werter. I loved stretching my mind by reading them. The books gave me intense joy, but also sharp pain. In the Sorrows of Werter, the story cast so much light onto objects that once I did not understand. The hero I sympathized with, idolized, and grieved for when he died. The story was fascinating and astonishing. The story brought forth questions in my mind. Who am I? What was I? From where did I come? Where do I go? But I could not answer these questions, despite how much time I spent thinking about them.

The volume of Plutarch Lives contained histories of the founders of the first republics. This was a much different story than that of the prior. I had learned from Sorrows of Werter about apathy and gloom. From Plutarch Lives, I was taught high thoughts, and endeared me to prior heroes. It taught me about kingdoms, mighty rivers, towns, and large groups of men. I developed a conscience. This story shaped who I am. 

In Paradise Lost, I experienced far deeper emotions. I drew comparisons between myself and Adam, and many times, I also drew comparisons between myself and Satan. 

The coat I took from your home when I left contained papers, of which I could not decipher. Now, after much practice with the novels, I could read them. I found it to be the journal of yours which depicted the months before my creation. You remember these papers. Here they are, as proof. Reading the papers was horror. Even Satan had devils to admire him. My creator hated me, he created a creature so ugly that even he didn't like me.  I became depressed.

I thought of the cottagers, who were so kind, and gentle. Could they accept me on my virtue, and ignore my ugliness? I postponed, afraid. I wanted to be fully prepared if I should reveal myself to them. In the meantime, the cottagers stayed happy, poor yet contented.

I let my heart fill with hope that I may win them over with my intellect, that they may overlook my deformity. However, these hopes vanished when I saw my reflection, or even my own shadow. I cursed my creator, for I had no Eve, no one to share the pain with.

Fall passed this way. My main happiness came from the flowers, the birds, and the color. Now that these things were gone, I felt sad again. The cottagers kept up their happiness by spending time with one another. I yearned to speak with them again. I dared not think of what may happen if I should be cast away by them.

Winter arrived. I realized I was a year old. My whole focus was on being loved by the cottagers. Thinking deeply, I realized that my voice sound normal. Therefore, I thought an introduction to the old man who could not see my deformity would be the wisest course of action. One day, Safie, Agatha, and Felix went on a long walk, leaving the old man to rest. He played his guitar, melancholy, then sat in thought.

Now was the time! I approached him, and knocked on the door.

"Who is there?" Said the old man. "Come in" I entered.

"Excuse me, but I am a traveler in need of rest. I would be very thankful if you should let me stay a few moments by the fire" I said.

"Enter" He said "I will try and aid you, but I am blind and my children are out, so I may not be of much use"

"It is no issue, I have food, it is only rest and warmth I seek" And so I sat. Minutes ticked by, and my adrenaline surged. At length, the old man said to me ---

"By your language, you sound French. Are you?"

"No" I said "But I was educated by a french family and know no other language. I am going to find protection of these friends"

"Are these people German?" He asked

"No, French. But let us change the subject. I am an unlucky creature. I have no family, no friends, no acquaintances, I am an outcast."

"Do no despair, for I am sure you can find a man to be friends with you, their hearts are good. If this family of yours is good, surely they will be your friend"

"They are kind, but they possess a fatal flaw. I am blameless and gentle, but when they look at me, they see a monster."

"That is surely upsetting, but if they are good, can not you convince them otherwise?"

"I am about to being that very task. I am so afraid and excited. I have been observing them for months unbeknownst to them. They think that I am a criminal, while I hold no crime."

"Where do your friends live?"

"Near here"

"If you will tell me your tale honestly, I may be able to help you convince this family. I am poor and blind, but I will do whatever I can do aid a fellow human being"

"Thank you kind man! I trust that with your help, I will be able to find a place in society."

"I know what you feel, I have also had my family unsightly tried, and it is a crime indeed."

"I am so thankful for your help! I will be forever grateful"

"May I know where these friends live?"

I paused. Now was the moment of truth. I tried to be strong, but my resolve broke. I began to sob uncontrollably. The door opened, showing Felix.

"Do not desert me! You are my friends, my family, my life! Aid me!" I cried.

"Who are you?!" The old man exclaimed.

I was in indescribable horror. Felix saw me, tore me from his home, and proceeded to be at me until I ran until I got into my hovel. I could of torn Felix limb from limb, but it was not with a stick he beat me, but with my dreams.

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