EGL // lashton

thirty seven

"Where are you?" Seth's voice ran through the phone, making Ashton sigh again.

"The cabin" Ashton answered, making Seth fall silent for a while.

"That's still standing?" Seth asked.

"Who the fuck would take it down" Ashton mumbled and lit his second cigarette with only one hand.

"Well, you would," Seth said and Ashton didn't answer. "Why are you there, anyway?"

"No reason" Ashton mumbled.

"I bet my life there's a big fucking reason to why you entered a part of our family again"  

"There's not, so go kill yourself" Ashton mumbled and slowly took a deep drag of the cigarette.

Seth didn't answer Ashton's statement and kept quiet while Ashton was mindlessly smoking in silence. There was no need to continue the call because none of the brothers said anything, but neither of them hung up.

"Are you staying?" Seth asked after over a minute of silence.

"Do you have a reason for me to leave?" Ashton asked and put out the second cigarette at the same place on the family picture.

"No," Seth said calmly, "Can I meet you there?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to get back to some memories"

"It's all shit" Ashton answered, making Seth chuckle breathily.

"I'm on my way" Seth answered and hung up without another word. Ashton placed his phone back down in his pocket and picked up yet another cigarette. His throat was burning, but that kind of burning feeling was a whole lot better than the burning feeling he got while crying.

With a final puff of the smoky air, he put out his third cigarette - close from finished - and walked away from the photos. With heavy steps he walked towards the bedroom and stopped in the doorway when watching the tangled sheets and closed curtains.

It was just like they had left it. When it had been easy. When it had been just him and Luke.

When they had been both alive.

**

"It's just the same like it's always been" Seth spoke and eyed every wall of the small house with pursed lips. The older Irwin boy slowly walked over to the ruined picture and scoffed before picking it up and brushed the dead cigarettes away.

Ashton only hummed in agreement as he was seated by the small kitchen table with his head in his hands. His eyes drew invisible lines over the worn out and broken table, eying every cut and bump on the cheep wood.

"So," Seth said and hung up the picture on the wall before sitting down across from Ashton by the table, "Why are you here?"

"I've already told you," Ashton said and lifted his head from his hands to look at his brother with drained eyes, "There's no reason"

"Yes there is. Michael already told me"

"Then why are you asking me?" Ashton asked and scoffed as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Believe it or not, but things actually can get easier when talking about them" Seth spoke and send Ashton that knowing smile, showing off that he was mature while being so unbelievably immature.

"I don't believe in stuff like that" Ashton mumbled and put his head in his hands again.

"Of course you don't, Ash" Seth spoke while looking around the house again. "You'll die with thousands of secrets"