EGL // lashton

twenty two

Ashton stared down at his phone after hanging up from the voice mail he had left for Luke hours ago. After hanging up he hadn't been able to move a single muscle for hours, causing him to sit in the exact same spot at 4:52 am the next day.

He bit the inside of his cheek hard before gripping his phone harshly and threw it across the room, watching the phone break into thousands of pieces.

He ran his hands over his face frustratedly, going up to his hair and tugged at it before standing up from the edge of his bed to walk across his room, over to his closet.

With dried spots of blood from Calum still seen on his hands, he dug around in his closet until he found what he was looking for. The cold metal against his palm was the only comfort he felt right now.

He took a grip of the cold metal and picked it up, eyeing the silver colored gun with the initials 'JSI' carved with gold at the side. He brushed his thumb over the three letters as he bit his bottom lip.

He walked over to his drawers and rummaged through them before finding the right kind of bullets for the gun. He loaded the gun slowly, hearing the soothing sound of the bullets clicking into their correct place, and turned the safety off.

Safety wouldn't be needed.

He let out a deep sigh and looked around his room before letting his eyes trace every inch of the beautiful gun before he lightly let his finger relax on the trigger.

"I'm coming home, dad" he whispered before bringing the gun up to press the tip against the skin at the middle of his forehead.

He breathed heavily, closing his eyes and listening to nothing. The whole house was completely silent and Ashton knew the shot he'd fire would echo through the villa for hours.

But that wasn't what he was thinking about. All Ashton was thinking about was that certain blonde who never once left his mind. That pretty and softly brushed blond hair, those amazingly deep blue eyes, those plump pink lips, that slim body, and those small delicate hands.

It was all running through Ashton's mind like a river snaking it's way through the forest. The thoughts never stopped and he was bothered by it, because Luke was the only thing Ashton could ever think of.

It made him weak. It made him lose track of what was important in a life that he lived. He let Luke affect his whole life and look where it got him; seated alone in his room with his father's old gun pressed to his forehead.

But he just couldn't blame the pretty boy. He couldn't think anything bad about him because every little thought ended up with how much he truly loved Luke.

Never in his life had Ashton loved anyone. He was even doubting if he ever had loved the guys in his crew like brothers and friends. He thought he never had, so to feel so strongly for a boy like Luke, a boy that he only met a few months ago, was so new for Ashton.

It still scared him. And now he was ready to take his own life because of the blonde.

It was pathetic.

I love you, Luke, went thought his mind as he slowly started to add pressure to the trigger. The seconds ticked by slow, and that one name ran through Ashton's head like a mantra as his finger was putting more pressure on the trigger.

Luke, Luke, Luke, Lu-

"What the fuck are you doing?" A voice was heard trough Ashton's room, but the boy didn't open his eyes because he already knew who it was.