Mute

twenty-seven

C A M E R O N D A L L A S

I feel so, hurt.

I feel the pressure in my chest and the stinging in my eyes. And then I feel the guilt. I took out my anger, my hurt, on someone that was completely innocent, just to make myself feel better. But all it did was make my heart break more. And the worst thing about this is, I'm not surprised that I hurt him. Throughout these couple of months that's all I've been doing. And it sucks because that's not me. It's a person I have become.

Aaron was currently resting in a medical bed. I've already apologized to him and his parents. They glared at me the whole time. But I deserved it, I damaged their child. Gilinsk still hasn't left my side. I can tell he was still very pissed but he was to good of a friend to leave me in this condition. "Cam, I think it is time to take you home," Gilinsky offered.

I shook my head, "no, I wanna just sit here and suffer."

Jack sighed deeply, "now Cameron, why would you say something like that?"

I looked at him. He had bags under his eyes and his face was dull, "because I deserve it."

I emotion flicked through his eyes, sympathy. Jack put his arms around me and squeezed me tight. But it doesn't matter how tight he hugs me, I will still feel that empty feeling in my heart. I will still feel the guilty feeling in my fists. And I will still feel that longing feeling in my mind. And it's pathetic, because as much as he stabbed my heart, I still want him, I still love him. Knowing, that I am slowly falling apart.

"Ok Cam, I will go get us some coffee. We'll be here for a while." As Jack left and I went back to staring at the wall.

I wonder what Nash was thinking when he got in bed with Matt? Did I even go through his mind? I don't know what is worst, him thinking about me then having sex with someone who's not me or not thinking about me at all. And I fell asleep thinking about what hurts more.

J A C K G I L I N S K Y

I told Cameron I was leaving to get coffee but I really need to make a call. I hate the guy but Cameron really needs him.

"Hello," Nash answers groggily.

"Where the fuck are you? You were supposed to be here 2hrs ago!!"

"Who is this?" How dumb is this bastard?

"Jack fucking Gilinsky! Now when are you going to be here Grier! I'm kinda regretting calling you!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I just fell asleep, gosh," he sighed.

"I honestly don't think you should be talking to me like that. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even know where Cameron is. Nevertheless get a chance to apologize to him for fucking cheating you asshole!!! Do you know how heartbroken he is? He's drowning in his own tears! So you either come down here right now or stay away from Cameron for ever!" I ended the call before he could respond.

I'm tired of this shit, I really do need some coffee.

C A M E R O N D A L L A S

I was awoken by a small tap on my shoulder. I could tell it wasn't Jack so I kept my eyes closed. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I just wanted to sit in this ugly brown hospital waiting chair and let my pain eat me alive.

The mystery person wasn't so unknown after it spoke, "Cam?"

His smooth voice brought I fresh wave of tears. I but my lip to stop the noise of my sobs. He didn't deserve to hear my pain.

I still had my eyes close when he sat in the empty chair next to me. "I know you're awake Cameron, please open your eyes. Please."

I told myself I'm not going to give him what he wants but I opened my eyes anyway. Looking at his face I didn't see anything. No pain, no guilt, no sincerity, and worst of all, no love for me.

He reached for my hand, but I shifted so he couldn't touch me. I still didn't get a reaction out of him when I did that. But who didn't see that coming?

"Look, I know you know I slept when Matthew and honestly, I don't regret it. But I look at you and see how much pain you're in and I fell a little sorry for you. But Cameron what did we really have? You saved me from a bullet and took me out on a date. Yeah we shared secrets here and there but was it really love? If I could go have sex with another guy I don't think it was. Sorry but we're over. Good luck with that basketball scholarship Cameron. Goodbye."

And now stacked on the pile of emotions is stupidity, because lady and gentlemen, that's Nash Grier, the boy I am madly in love with.

Author's Notes💞:

guys pretty please check out my new jolinsky story. I'm so in love with it.

Anyways this chapter was something else. What do you guys think is going through Nash's head?

Also how long should this book be?

love ya!!