the list { jace norman }

six

His structured jaw clinches lightly with nerves. Knowing only slightly at what I was getting at. But didn't want to assume too early. 

I stay silent, running the outcomes through my head. But he turns impatient. 
"Emily, what?"

"I'm pregnant" I blurt. Not having a different option. I try to avoid contact with his face, but his widened eyes draw me towards him. 

"You're sure?" He swallows harshly.

"I'm positive" I nod 

He holds his head in his hands, his fingers eventually running through his hair in frustration.

"How long have you known?" he mumbles.

"A week"

His glance shoots up at me, anger flooding his face.

"You've known for a week and you're telling me now?"

"Jace..." I sigh

His voice breaks into yelling unintentionally, 

"Emily what the hell. Why would you keep something like that from me for a week?"

"Stop yelling at me, asshole" I shout back. "You're not helping"

He settles slightly, his body still tense, but his voice back to calm, guilty. 
"How did this even happen- I mean we haven't done anything since..."

I nod, 

"It was that night"

"That was before I left..."

"I know"

"What do you want to do?" His eyes meet mine, his shaky hand finding mine.

"I'm not ready to have a baby, Jace. Neither are you"

He nods in agreement, his eyes meeting the floor,

"But, this could be a good thing for us?"

"What?" My eyes grow large.

" I mean, we're young. But, this is our  kid and, maybe it's what we need to break away from this childish thing we have going on"

"You think our relationship is childish?"

"You don't?"

He was right. We were too good to be true, and our back and forth never seemed to move on. But this wasn't what we needed to help.

"What about work? They wont let me back on the show"

"I'm not going to quit but Emily, think about what this means for us"

"What does it mean Jace? Our parents disowning us and not being able to financially support ourselves with a kid?"

" A family, Em"  

"We're too young Jace. I want an abortion"

"Please" He looks at me gently, "You'll regret it"

"I know that I will" I sigh, " But how do I tell my parents? And yours, they wont want me around anymore"

"Its not like its your fault. They wont blame it on you"

"Who's to blame then?"

"Us "

My eyes start to string, the situation finally sinking in,

"Jace, I cant"

"Hey" He pulls himself closer to me, wrapping his arms around me, "Its okay"

"I want to keep it Jace. But I can't"

"You're not going through this by yourself, you know? We can figure something out to make it work"

"You think?"

He pulls away from me, wiping the hair from my sticky cheeks,

"Of course"

I hesitate, 
"Okay"

"We're going to be parents" He smiles lightly, resting his hand on my neck

"I guess so" I force a grin through my nerves. Most being lost the moment the two words came from my lips for the first time. 

"Who should we tell first?"

"Your parents. The second mine find out, they'll call yours. It wouldn't be good"

"You're right" He nods, "Good thing my parents like you, huh?"

"Yeah. They wont for long"

"Yeah? Try telling your dad that you got his daughter pregnant"

"Don't worry about him" I sigh into the cool air, "He wont do much but yell" 

"That's what I'm afraid of" He chuckles.

The room grows silent from words, we take in each others company and how important this moment will be in less than a year. 

My voice comes out so small,
"Thank you, Jace"

"For what?" He looks at me, his eyebrows gently knotted together.

"For being here, still"

"I'm not leaving you" He chuckles, but quickly it falls to a serious glance, "Ever".

"I love you" 

"This will be good for us" He reassures.

"When are we telling them?"

"Soon" He stands, resting his hand on my face as he grabs it gently at my cheeks. "But not without each other. Got it?"

"Yeah" I nod, my lips lightly pouting at the upsetting thought of the event.

"I love you Em"

"Will you stay?"

"Of course I will" He lays himself on my bed, opening the covers to invite me back in. I comply, burying myself into him. Not wanting to make contact with the world. 

This is what it'd be from now on. Keeping the baby was the decision to stay with each other for as long as we'd dare to stand each other, and not run away when things suddenly got hard, or complicated.

He fought me so hard to keep that baby. Not because of the baby, but because he wanted to stay with me. At least for a while.