Warning: THIS CHAPTER WILL MAKE YOU CRY
I am currently in my room talking to the boys about the football game coming up in school.
"We are so gonna beat them" Jake says, making a fist.
"Totally. You guys are great" Toby adds on.
"Sam you have mail" Maddie shouts from downstairs, I jump up. "I'll be right back" I say, closing my door and running downstairs. Maddie hands me the envelope and when I look at the address it shows my moms address.
What does she want?
"Thanks Maddie" I took the mail and ran back up the stairs into my room back to the boys. They are yelling at each other about which team is the best, it's like I didn't leave in the first place.
I open the envelope that has a letter in it. I pick up the letter and start reading:
Dear Sam,
I'm sorry for the ways that I treated you and your brother. When your father passed, I don't know what happened but I just flipped a switch and didn't have a care in the world. I blamed myself, not you. I just took it out on you. I'm sorry for the beatings, the fights and for yelling at you at homecoming. I just can't handle this pressure anymore. I love you. Tell Matt that I am sorry. I should have acknowledged you kids to see you grow. Now your all grown up and hate me. Goodbye my loves
Love always mom
When I finish reading the letter, I have tears streaming down my face. This was her suicide note? I know that I wasn't on great terms with her but she was still my mom after all.
"Sam what's wrong?" Jake asks, I sob into his shirt, dropping the letter. I guess he sees the letter because he reads it and then he hugs me.
"I'm so sorry Sam" he hugs me harder, all the boys just look at us in confusion. "What's happening?" Toby and Mikey ask, Jake gives them the note. When they are finished reading, they look up at me with such a sad expression that makes me cry even more.
They come over and give me a hug along with Eddie and Ethan. "WHY?!" I cry in pain. Maddie bursts through the door
"What happened?!" She demands, thinking the boys did something wrong. Toby gives her the letter. Once she is done reading it, she puts her hand over her mouth and a tear rolls down her face.
"I'll make the arrangements" she walked out the door. "Do you want us to leave?" Toby asks, I nod. They all stand up and walk out of my room. I just crawl up in a ball. First my dad, now my mom? Why does the world hate me?!
I cry and cry for hours and hours knowing that the last few things I said to her were that I hated her and wanted her to go to hell.
It is now nighttime. I can't eat, and I can't sleep. All I can think about is her. How could this be goodbye? I never got to tell her that even after all of the bad things she did to me, I still remember the good that came before that.
1 week later (Jakes POV)
"Mom I'm worried about Sam. She hasn't come out of her room in a week"
"She just needs time to grieve. The funeral is today, so it's gonna be harder for her. It's important that you stand by her no matter what" she says, I nod and feel a tear go down my face. I can't imagine what she is going through right now.
Sam's POV
So today is the funeral. This is gonna be my goodbye. I see Matt and I go running up to him
"Matty" I hug him tight and he returns it.
"I can't believe that she is gone"
"I know"
----
"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Kate Scott. She was a wonderful mother, daughter, and wife. We will now have her daughter Samantha give the eulogy" the priest says, I walk up to the podium, wipe away my tears and begin.
"My mother was a horrible mother to me and my brother. But it's because she had flaws. After my father died, I saw the change in her. Even though we weren't on the greatest terms, she sent me a letter saying goodbye. Even though we weren't speaking, I never got to say goodbye or that I loved her so I'm going to say it now." I look over at her lying there in the casket and sigh.
"I love you mom. You will always be in my heart no matter what has happened between us. I will make sure that my future kids know what their grandmother was like. Goodbye forever , I love you" More tears fall down my face as I sit back down in my seat.
After the ceremony, everyone came up to me and Matt and gave their condolences. Katie, Amanda and the guys come up to me.
"I'm so sorry Sam" Amanda and Katie say, hugging me tight, I nod. "You have my condolences Sam" Zach adds on, hugging me
"I'm sorry for your loss" Kevin says and all that's left is Dylan. He doesn't say anything, he just hugs me tightly.
"I'm so sorry Sam, but it will get better I promise. Just promise me one thing?"
"What is it?"
"Don't do anything to hurt yourself. Don't lash out. You know I love you, just please don't do anything stupid" he says, I smile. The first time that I've smiled since last week.
"I promise" I reply, still smiling with my voice cracking a little "Good. I know exactly what you're going through, so if you ever want to talk, I'm here." he says smiling, I look at him in confusion.
"How?"
"I am an orphan" he says and I am shocked
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't know" My smile turns into a frown as he shakes his head and grabs my hands.
"Don't be. I am the guy standing here today because of that. I found Zach's family, and they took me in"
"Wow. Well at least I know I can talk to you about this" I reply half smiling, he sighs and gives me another hug.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not now. Maybe another time"
------
It has been two days since the funeral and I still can't sleep or eat. Maddie got us another gig in Central Park so I have to put on a smile and ply no matter how shitty I'm feeling. We decided to do the song Firework by Katy perry.
"Alright guys. Ready? Let's do this!" I say smiling. Music is my get away.
"1.2.3.4" Ethan counts us off. The music plays and I start singing.
We nailed it. By the end of it, I had tears in my eyes because this was my mothers favorite song. She loved how it's about how people are beautiful the way they are and that they can shine in their own way.
Katie and Amanda notice the tears and they hug me. "Sam won't be doing the comedy. She will be sitting in the audience. Everybody make room for Sam" Amanda says with a smile, everyone in the front row moves over.
"This ones for you Sam" Jake says with a wink, I smile. I thought that this was comedy but then he starts singing.
"This Song is by Sam's favorite band, it's called Jet Black Heart"
Once he stops singing, I get out of my seat and clap. I start smiling again. This is what I love about them, the make me smile. He sees me smiling so he smiles as well.
"That's all we have for tonight folks. See ya next week!" Toby says while throwing a kiss to the crowd, I hear girls calling his name and I see him smile. I go back up onstage and hug Jake, then Katie and Amanda and then the rest of the boys.
"Why didn't you tell me that you rehearsed this?!" I start slapping jakes arm as he laughs.
"Because it was a surprise. And the song speaks the truth. Everybody's got their demons, and since you're facing yours, I figured this would be the perfect song to sing."
"How did you know that I loved 5 Seconds of summer?"
"I may or may not have been through your diary last month" Mikey buds in innocently, I give him daggers.
"What exactly did you read?" I ask, raising an eyebrow, he smirks.
Oh god I'm in trouble
"Yeah you are" Ethan says with a wink, everyone laughs.
Crap I said that out loud. I've got to stop doing that!
CITEȘTI
Living With The Carter Family
Ficțiune adolescenți"What do you mean I have to live in New York?!" "Honey, your grandma is very sick and we have to fly out to Canada to take care of her, but we don't have enough money to take you with us, so my very good friend Maddie offered for you to live with he...
