"On that lonely night,said it wouldn't be love,but we felt the rush,made us believe it was only us,convinced we were broken inside,yeah,inside,cause girl your perfect,your always worth it"
Earned-the weeknd
Carla's pov
A couple of days after the little chat with my mother, I just didn't feel like talking to her or my sister. All weekend long, I've ignored all of their phone calls, and text messages. So now here I am at work sitting at my desk waiting for my patient to arrive, never noticing I was drifting off to sleep until I hit my head on my desk. Guess all that coffee that I had didn't help.
About 30 minutes later my patient Mary came in. To say that she's had a hard life would be a very big understatement, from being a pawn in her mother and father's drug trade,to being beat and much more.
"Hi Mary,come on in and take a seat anywhere you like" I tell her
"Hi,Carla" she says
"All right, so let's start from where we ended last time" I say
"Umm....OK well like I told you last week I met this guy named Mark and we moved into together about 3 weeks of dating ,and well our relationship was great well, actually amazing at first,but then he just kind of snapped out of nowhere, for instance yesterday he came home from homework and I didn't have his beer on the table near the couch like he wants it to be.....he umm grabbed me by my shoulders and threw me to the floor........And he beat me util I couldn't even move a muscle.......I am afraid to sleep next to him or let alone sit by him and I want to leave him but, I don't know how or even where to go" Mary says all the while tears are streaming down her face like a waterfall
" Mary I know that right now, your are in a difficult position, but don't let that get you down or depressed, if you truly want to leave Mark, there are plenty of places that I help get you in contact with from shelters that help women with domestic violence and so many more so just you have the help and resources and I will help you with your journey" I tell, and I mean every word that is coming out of my mouth she is not alone
"I know, I don't I just....it's complicated because even though he treats me bad, I feel secure with him because I don't have to worry about how I am going to find enough money to pay my rent,or having to worry about food in the refrigerator,keeping my lights, or how the hell I am going to get to work the next day. In some aspects he is different than most other guys that I've dealt with and I know that he doesn't mean to hurt me all the time" she says tiredly
"Mary I know that you really want this is to work out in some way, but at the end of the day you have to ask yourself is your life worth ending just so you can make this man happy? if you keep going back to him every time then one day you might not make it through the night" I say
I don't want to scare her, but I also want to let her know that consequences of staying in a toxic relationship like hers, is not good at all. And that actions always speak louder than words. Sometimes being a therapist can be draining, because sometimes your patients do take your advice to heart and sometimes they don't. And I hope Mary is that type of patient that does because for these last few weeks just talking to her, let's me know that she holds so much pain and hurt in that she looks for love in all of the wrong people and places.
"I understand that I do....it's just maybe from everything that I've been through I don't know what love feels or looks like, I'm so paranoid that I look over my shoulder all the time just take make sure that no one is following me and that I am safe. And I know that I have to overcome that fear but it's easier said than done" she said
"With you opening up more and more, it's gets us into why you are so scared and fearful and why you feel the way you do, which is highly ,understandable and you can't blame yourself for how you feel, nor will anyone else" I say truthfully
After about 2 hours Mary and I finish up her session with her set to come back in 1 week to continue to go over her treatment plan and goals.
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Chasing After Her
الخيال (فانتازيا)My life has never been easy to say the least, I've had my troubles and storms all around, never being able to keep my feet on the ground and having my happy ending, but now that two men I haven't seen in forever come crashing back into my life, will...
