Your Love Messes Me Up 08.1 - The Date - Different

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“I know it’s a stretch but it’s a fact that I don’t remember from a point of time…I mean, I remember being in the fifth grade but that’s the furthest I can remember…” I smiled bitterly at the lack of memory I have. “Was I bullied ? Did I have selective memory or something? Was that the reason why I forgot my memories? I just wish I knew sometimes. It sucks to keep guessing all the possibilities…”

I didn’t dare to look at Aiden; at this point I was nervously twiddling with my fingers. I mean who takes a reason like amnesia seriously? He should be thinking about why I’m such a nutcase and drive me back to town.

“Why did you come to this town then?” I hear his voice, calm and steady. “I don’t remember seeing you in fifth grade. I mean most of us here grew up together and there aren’t many schools in the area…”

Placing his hand on mine giving it a small squeeze, as if asking me to face him...I guess it is impolite to not face the one whom I’m talking to…

Turning to meet his blue eyes, I was shocked because…

Did it just change colour?

They were usually sky blue…but here it was the same deep blue as the waters before us.

Deciding to answer his question and ignoring that change “I came to this town was because my parents wanted us to go to the same school they did. They’re at the main home coming over as and when they like to check on us… With Samantha gone back to help the company, what’s left is our housekeeper and the rest of us siblings… are biding our time here before we graduate and return to the main home…and honestly if I could, I would go almost anyway then to go back there…”

“You’ll leave after graduation?” Aiden asked, looking somewhat sad.

“Yes, I intend to…” I replied “I’m going to uproot myself from them and study dance in another state or country where they wouldn’t be able to find me so easily…”

Leaning back into the sofa and appreciating its comfort. I continued my story saying “For longest time, I really hated it when they made the decision to uproot me from our hometown and dumping me here. I was fine back home, I didn’t want to attend some school for the rich and obnoxious. Also for not being there for me, they were hardly home. And even if they were they ignored me. My housekeeper practically became my mom…”

Like a defensive position, I huddled my knees to my body, curling myself into a ball.

“Why couldn’t they have given me a better childhood, was it too much to have spent one day with me? Thanks to them I don’t even look forward to my birthday anymore…especially not since that day…” I sighed shaking my head in recollection.

“What day was that?” He replied, still looking curious.

Mental check:

Aiden is still here even after saying I have amnesia. Weird? Kinda

Keeping relatively calm with no strange look at me and stares, Strange? Very, I can’t comprehend how he’s able to act this way, no questions no strange looks to me at all!

He’s definitely an odd person…

“It was when I came as a freshman. People always compared me to my siblings, every single time they look at me I heard them say ‘oooh, how different she looks, is she really an Ellery?’ I even heard the teachers say ‘Is she an illegitimate child?’”

“The teachers said that?” he said, looking quite displeased. “F…king assholes”

Things are never what they seem, I sighed internally.

“Don’t bother about them” I mumbled, trying hard not to remember their piercing stares. I had a hard time trying not to be paranoid “I hadn’t thought much out of it at that point of time, deciding to look at myself clearly one night in my bathroom mirror as I held photos against my reflection.

They were right.

I looked nothing like the Ellerys. They have brown hair and eyes, mostly diamond shaped face and high cheekbones but I didn’t have those. I have black hair, multi coloured eyes, oblong-ish shaped face.

Totally different.

Deciding to ask them after bearing with the rumours for months, I asked my mom if I was adopted.

Hearing ‘adopted’, mom when into a fit and slapped me and destroyed everything in sight. Dannie being there then, quickly dragged me to my room before anything else could happen…

And for a period of time, when she saw me she would always slap me. It was until dad saw me being slapped that it stopped.”

Just then, I felt a pair of arms around me from behind.

“Didn’t it hurt?” Aiden asked softly.

“What did?” I squirmed struggling, wanting to be out of his arms. Why did the boy have a grip as strong as a vice?!

 I’m really, really not used to all these physical contact not even at home or out of dance class.

I knew that before this, Aiden was just teasing me so I didn’t bother so much but now it’s different…I felt too vulnerable and my defences were down.

I’ve told no one about this. I’ve mentioned it to no one. Not even Izzy or Addy. And I’ve known them ever since I came here…

More flashbacks of unpleasant memories at the main home flooded my mind as I resisted his arms, wanting to be out…

Now I know that there’s no harm in talking this out.

There’s A LOT of harm involved.

I shouldn’t have thought of this, this was a bad idea.

Why the heck did I talk about family in the first place?!

I am so NOT going to talk to him about personal matters anymore.

It’s getting too close for comfort!

Everything I’ve buried so deep within me came out in an instant.

All those memories I tried so hard to forget came running back to me.

Why did the many locks on my Pandora’s Box that I’ve put on fail me?

 “Aiden please let me go…” my voice wavering betray.

I hated this, I want out…

His voice gentle “No, I’m not letting you go.”

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