Chasing After Her

Chapter 1

"Guess it's true I'm not good at a one-night stand,but I still need love cause I'm just a man,these night never seem to go to plan, I don't want you to leave will you hold my hand?Oh what you stay with me,cause your all I need,this anit love it clear to see,but darling stay with me"

Stay with me-Sam Smith

Carla's pov

Today has been hell! After having a stressful day with my mother and sister, I just decided to not be my sister's maid of honor or be in the wedding at all.....or even go to the wedding.

I am so fucking tired of my mother always trying to compare me and my sister to one another, don't get me wrong, I love my mother to death, but I am tired of  her always downing me, or doubting me, or talking about my weight. It gets overwhelming at times.

My mother never agreed with any of my life choices, from me choosing my career path, to me definitely not following in my sisters footsteps. I love my older sister Amelia, but I am my own person and I make my own choices and decisions.

If your guessing where my dad is in all of this, well he tries to help me and my mothers relationship but,in the end it always backfires on him, with my mom storming out and not listening to his reasoning....I don't understand how's he's been married to her for so long.

Feeling my phone vibrate I look down onto my bed and see that my mother is calling, just fucking great.

"Hello mother dearest" I say sarcastically

"Look, I don't have time for all of your silliness, I won't you to come over to the house and apologize to your sister" My mother says

"Look, mom I meant what I said, Amelia can find someone else to be in her wedding, I'm done, I don't want to keep being any ones punching bad..I'm tired" I say tiredly

"Oh hush, I don't want to any of that whining, either you come back over here, or god so help me! I am not in the mood Amelia! You're sister is already stressed with the wedding approaching and I am too, please do not keeping adding to my plate" she yells through the phone at me

Not wanting to keep hearing any more of this conversation, I hang up on my mother and power my phone off. Why can't my family just be 'Normal'.It becomes to much with all of the back and forth and etc. And I know my mom understands that, but she just doesn't care.

Why should I be in someone's wedding who doesn't even defend me to our mom, or who lets her friends talk down to me like I am some little lost puppy on the street.

Like I said my only strongest relationship is with my dad, and I'm okay with that. I think me not going to the wedding is not going to hurt anyone especially not my mother, who wants to control everything and everyone around them.

I don't want anymore negativity or anger in my life I just want peace and happiness, and I know how naïve that all sounds, but it's true. At some point in your life you get tired of all of the negative people and things in your life.

You never want to remove your family out of your life, but what if it's for the best? No more tearing me down about anything or having to hear some constantly nag 24/7.

And like I said I love my family with everything in me but I just -I don't know I want to put some distance between us and protect myself, but being the person that I am I know that I'll feel bad.

Why does family have to be so complicated? And frustrating all in one?

The city I live is a medium city that if I wanted to distance my self I could, but then again I live in Louisville, and my mom is known by a lot of people so even if try to distance my self, from I won't be able to distance myself away from my family's reputation and what goes along with it.

Maybe moving is a good to leave everything behind and start fresh, that's doesn't sound to bad.

It's kind of crazy that all of my life, I have been controlled in some way or another, and I never had the backbone to stand up for myself, but now everything is different, I'm ready to stop being a lap dog for everyone and pick myself up.

With me being a therapist, I always try to give my clients the best advice that I can, but I can never take it for myself, isn't that something. I always try and tell them to do what's best for them and their well being , but how come it's taking me so long to do the same?