Aphrodite the Assassin (Theo James FanFic)

Nightmares

"Oh. I don't remember that."

"I had a feeling you wouldn't." He dabs a little harder at my head, poking the bruises too. I pull away. "Hold still," he says reaching up to cup my neck in his hands. He keeps pressing on it, although this time more gently.

"Ow... ow... ow! Okay give me that," I take the cloth from him and gently hold it on the bleeding spot. He just looks at me and puts a smile on his face. "Why is it that everything I do makes you smile?" I ask, putting a grin on my own face. I can't help it, he's kind of adorable when he smiles.

"I don't know, I guess because when you're being feisty it just makes me laugh." He sits up on the vanity next to me, although his feet can still touch the ground where mine can't.

"Well get used to the feistiness because I'm like that a lot. I guess after needing it out on missions, I just kind of adopted it into my regular personality." I look in the mirror to see if it's stopped yet and see Theo looking at me, the twinkle clearly visible in his eyes. I try to not acknowledge it and pull the cloth away from my face. "It looks like I got hit with a baseball bat on this side of my face," I say in a disgusted tone. I poke at it some more and start to rinse my blood out of the cloth. The water runs an orange red color at first, then begins to run clear. I wring the water out and toss it aside.

"Why were you screaming before?" he asks me quietly, hoping not to upset me. I take a deep breath.

"I've been having dreams about my parents since they died. Sometimes they're nightmares. I wake up like that a lot. Making a lot of noise like that. Screaming, crying, yelling; stuff like that." He looks at me with sympathy, the twinkle remaining. "That one was really different though. It just really scared me, I guess..."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head.

"No, not right now."

"Are you sure?" he asks quickly. I nod and try to avoid looking at him. He would probably be able to see the lie across my face. I do want to talk about it, but my mom killed me in this dream because of him. How can I explain that?

"Yeah, I'm sure." We sit just like we are, looking into each other's eyes, listening to each other's breaths. It sort of calms me down listening to his breathing. I wish I could know what he was thinking about, and if we are thinking the same thing. My eyes move from his eyes to his lips. They look so soft, like a little pillow for mine to rest on... Aphro! No! You can't kiss him! You can't even think about kissing him! Don't do that to yourself. "What do you want to do today?" I ask changing the subject.

"Don't you think that you should take it easy? There isn't really much to do otherwise."

"There is always stuff to do, Theo. We really should try and find where Lionel is," I say tapping my fingers on the marble top.

"As long as you don't hurt yourself," he says, sounding really protective of me. Which isn't a big deal, I guess I can act protective over him too. You do for your partner like you do for family. It just sounds a little odd coming from him.

"Me getting hurt is not a rare occurrence. I get a lot of bruises mostly, but cuts and scratches happen a lot too. Pretty soon you'll be like that. Getting hurt will seem pretty normal. That's just part of the job," I say shrugging, trying not to make it sound like it's a good thing. "Oh and the occasional getting shot."

"You know," he starts, "that doesn't surprise me at all that you would tell me that." I watch his mouth while he talks, noticing his lips; again. Stop!

"All assassins usually have at least one scar by their... fifth? Or maybe it's only after four... I don't know, it doesn't really matter. But last night we had it pretty easy, it gets worse. Trust me." I notice while I was talking, he was glancing to my lips, too. I dismiss it and don't say anything, just because he isn't the only one guilty of lip staring here. I bite at my lip a little, but subconsciously. Theo looks at me and I look away from him.

"Have you noticed that whenever we're kind of sharing a moment together, you seem to completely ignore it? Or you hit me, like last night when I winked at you."

"Because we aren't supposed to be having little moments like that. Theo, you're a great partner and a wonderful person, but-"

"But we can't be together in that way. I know," he answers sounding disappointed.

"I'm just afraid of what could happen. There have been a few incidents where partners became couples and it ended badly. If we become a couple, and let's say things don't work out? Yeah, you could become an independent assassin, but that job is a lot harder when you're alone. If you don't want to be independent, then we stick together but things get awkward really fast when you'll be with your ex the rest of your life. You're not going to have time,or even want to try to have a relationship with someone else. I've seen that too, and that ended absolutely terribly." He presses his lips together and looks down at his hands. "If the people we're fighting against know that we're a couple, they will use that against us like a torture device."

"What if we don't show it while we're out on missions?"

"We are going to show it without realizing we are. That's just how love works whether we want it to or not."

"But what if we both seem really happy? If things do work out?"

"Then it's harder for us to do our job," I say quietly. "Theo, please for both of our sakes, can you just let it go? I don't want it to be more difficult for us than it already is." He nods and looks up at me, his eyes are sparkling again. "We can still get to know each other. Go out for dinner, spend time together and do those kind of things."

"I'll agree to that. Seeing as though we will be spending nearly all of our time together anyway," he jokes. He pats my leg and I put my hand on his. He looks over at me and I quickly take my hand back.

"Can I ask you something else?" He nods and smiles softly. "We've only known each other for two weeks. How can you possibly know that you want to be with me so badly?"

"Sometimes you just know. But that only works if the other person feels the same way." I can't let this get in the way. I guess I'll just keep how I feel toward him to myself... I do know, and I do feel the same way. I can't tell you, though. I would if I didn't think it would hurt us. I can't have more people hurt because of me.