Dark Alley - a Zayn Malik Fan Fiction

Chapter 23: If I was your girlfriend, I'd never let you go.

Can I blame myself?

I’m normal, I’m a girl: and when this certain boy who you think you’re in love with tells you that he wants to see you again, of course you’d agree to it.

Even though you know he’s not into you.

Maybe part of you wanted to change his mind. Part of you wants to make him better. To make him stop being the player that you now know he is.

And that’s when you realize that you’ve turned into this cliché good girl who fell in love with the bad boy and wants nothing more than to make him fall back for you.

It happens! In books and movies! But they leave out the part explaining to you that this certain situation is complicated and messed up, and could lead to more heartbreak - in your part.

If only you listened to your instinct. But what can you do? No matter how much you present yourself as this tough, dauntless personality, you just end up disappointed in yourself, because you turn out to be the exact same person you didn’t want to be: needy, and affectionate.

“I’d like that.” I reply, with my fingers shaking.

Yes. For him, I’d be willing to be stupid, and give it a chance.

If only it didn’t hurt this much.

I only hoped for him not to reply anymore so that this could be easier, but after a few seconds, my phone buzzed again and said:

“See you soon then. x”

I smiled sadly and saved his number under the name Popstar.

After a few minutes of doing nothing, I could tell we were all starting to get bored. Ed spoke.

“Alright. You girls want to come with me to the studio?”

“Studio?” Elise and I squealed a little too excitedly.

“Yeah. I'm recording one of my new album tracks before my US tour.”

“Oh my God! You're letting us hear it before it comes out?!” I yelled.

“Stop fangirling, you're supposed to be a singer as well.” Ed laughed.

“But you're really talented and awesome and and and..” I couldn't finish my sentence.

“In all fairness, you girls are as well, and you're so much younger than me, so that makes you two times better.”

I was speechless. What gave Ed the right to make me keep becoming silent? He is the most amazing human being ever. Here I am being awkward and stupid and embarassing, and he just finds it amusing and gives me even more compliments.

“Yeah but you're British, so that actually makes you ten times better!” Elise added beside me.

“Shut it blondie, you're part European too.” Ed answered and laughed some more. After our laughter quieted, 

“So... No studio then?” he added with a smile playing on his lips.

“I take it back! We're better than you!” Elise yelled.

“We are so coming to the studio, Ginger!” I added, and Ed laughed hysterically. He obviously enjoys being with us, and I'm so glad he does. I still feel that its too good to be true to be actually hanging out with him.

**

“Okay, your turn.” he looked at me, ready to counter attack any excuse I would make.

I knew it was coming. After he recorded, he asked me and Elise to “lay down some tracks” for him. I was so scared so he asked Elise to do it first with one of her solos, which means, instead of recording a duet, we'll each be playing on our own.

Elise recorded her version of Boyfriend. Trust Elise to make a famous Justin Bieber pop song sound soulful and sexy.

“So what will you be singing?” Sonja patted my shoulders.

“I have no clue.”

“Sing Kiss Me!” Ed joined the conversation and Sonja nodded in agreement.

“Noooo... Not that song.”

“But I like that song.”

“You should. It's your song after all.” I laughed awkwardly, trying to get out of the situation.

“Why does it seem like Caroline is trying to get out of a situation?” Elise said when she came out of the sound-proofed studio. Thanks a lot, Lis!

“Because she is.” Sonja crossed her arms over her chest.

“Why do I feel like I'm being cornered to do what you want?” I asked to no one in particular.

“Because you are.” Ed answered exactly the way Sonja did.

“Fun!” Elise squealed. “What are we making her do?” I swear at that moment, if I don't already know her, I would've thought Elise was a dumb blonde.

“Come on Care, just one song!” Sonja pleaded.

By this time, Elise has joined my league of bullies.

“Okay! Anything but that song!” I yelled.

“But I want you to sing that song.” Ed pouted.

Ed Sheeran freaking pouted at me to sing him his song! I swear this tour will be the death of me.

“Fine!” I yelled in surrender.

**

This song was the worst decision ever. 

Of course as soon as I started, Zayn would be the person that comes to my mind.

The whole song suddenly had a meaning to me now. I hated that something as simple as a song could trigger emotions hidden deep within me.

When I finished, I opened my eyes, took a deep breath and...

Nothing.

'That was the worst singing I've ever heard in my entire life!'

'Sorry Care, I made the wrong decision. Only Elise will be touring with me.'

“Okay, somebody better say something because my subconscious is a mean bitch.” I spoke to the mic.

“Sorry Caroline. You've left me speechless.” I hear Ed in my headphones.

Are you kidding me? Leaving Ed speechless leaves me speechless!

“I should just give you the rights to this song.” he added jokingly.

I swear, if Ed's goal in life is to make my intestines burn a hole and make me give birth to a dragon because of too much fangirl-worthy moments, he is succeeding!

But its a secret kept in the depths of my mind.

So I rolled my eyes at him, even though I can't see their reaction because there was this sort of spot light in their direction that was blinding me. The glass might as well be a two-way mirror.

“All right sass-pants. You're safe now.” I heard Sonja this time.

I smiled and took off the headphones and placed it on top of the keyboard I played  a while ago.

That wasn't so bad.

When I opened the door to join them in the tech room, a familiar voice surprised me.

“It was you...”

“Zayn?” I looked at him and he was standing by the door. I checked the others and they didn't seem to notice that I've finally joined them. They seem animated in their conversation and I now saw that Niall was also with them.

“I kinda like it when you call me popstar.” he smiled at me.

A smile that I didn't let, affect me. You see, if I haven't heard that radio interview today, and still imagined that Zayn was into me, I would have began with a smart comment that could have made us banter for hours.

I had in my mind something like: “Popstar? Stalking me, are you?” and he would reply with something that could make me blush and start thinking of a comeback, but no. It’s not that way, anymore.

“What are you doing here?” was all I said.

I could tell he was surprised by the way I addressed him: nice and shy. But he didn't let it get to him.

“You know, Niall has this sort of obsession with Ed.” He talked in a low voice and smiled mischievously at me.

“Oi!” Niall protested. “Hey Ally!” he waved at me as he approached.

“My name’s Caroline.”

“Yep. I prefer calling you Ally.” He smiled an upside down smile, and gave Zayn a knowing look.

I swear these boys could read each other’s minds.

When Niall left to join Ed and the other, Zayn smiled at me again.

“It was you.” He simply said.

“I was what?”

“The one who sang.”

“Sang what?”

“Kiss me.”

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(MEDIA)ß “It was you…”

DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNN.. Where is this story going? I don’t know. For real, I don’t know! Hahaha That’s why I have slow updates, because I don’t know what to write about. It’s like: I know how I want it to go, but I don’t know how to get there, sorry guys. But I still love you!!

And, I like not writing about Zayn’s POV anymore, it makes the story all the more mysterious, and interesting, because I know you guys want to hear his side of the story too, but it’s better kept for now. ;)

Also, I dedicate this chap to Mila because her relationship with Zayn is too cute!! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, read @BelWatson ‘s Misconceptions! I already dedicated a chapter to her once and I doubt if she noticed it. I’m hoping Mila will. *fingers crossed*

xx G