Letters to Cleo #Wattys2016

Chapter 5

Dear Cleo,

It has been so much fun and enlightening exchanging letters with you. You have made English class bearable (no offense to my prof). Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, I learned a lot from you. I hope you were able to gain something from talking to me, too. In the months that we have 'talked' I have considered you a friend and confidant and believe me when I say that there have been a lot of times when I have searched around school trying to figure out which one you are. I don't know anymore how many times I've wished to meet you in person. That's how much impact you have on me.

Our prof said that we can agree on which of us gets to keep this journal. I hope you won't argue if I beg you to let me keep it. After you're last reply, I expect to get this back. This will let me have something to look back when my life gets too stressful and there's no you to calm me down.

Again, thank you. Good luck in everything.

Your friend,

JC

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Dear JC,

It saddens me that this will be the last time I will be writing 'dear JC'. We share the same sentiment; you have made English class something to look forward to. Thank you for being a great penpal friend. I know you don't have any choice but to read what I write, yet you have made me feel that everything I say is important. Thank you for an extraordinary friendship. I will cherish this forever.

Okay, I will let you keep this journal. Anyway, I have the red, leather band to remember you by.

Goodbye my dear friend. Good luck to you, too. And see you in the future!

Always,

Cleo

And just like that the semester was finished. Did I say nothing's gonna stop me from finding her? I was so wrong. There are actually a lot of things that stopped me from finding her at nangunguna na d'yan ang finals. I got so preoccupied with school work and exams that I didn't have time to stalk her. Buti na lang I was able to get back the journal. Kinulit ko pa ang prof ko ng ilang beses para lang makuha ko 'yon.

At hanggang natapos na ang buong school year at dumating ang graduation ko ay hindi ko na nagawa ang plano kong hanapin s'ya. Now I'm back to our house in Batangas. As I'm unpacking my stuff, nakita ko ulit ang blue notebook namin ni Cleo. I flipped through the pages and read some of our entries. Napunta ako sa entry namin about my dilemma with Tatay. After that first and only attempt that I made to talk to him, I wasn't able to try it again. Siguro ngayong nandito na ulit ako sa amin ay dapat kausapin ko na agad siya. It may be unbelievable but seeing her handwriting kinda gave me a boost. Pakiramdam ko ay nandito lang s'ya sa tabi ko at pinapalakas ang loob ko. Kaya hindi na ako nag-atubili; tumayo agad ako at lumabas ng kwarto. I'm gonna do this now before I change my mind and chicken out.

One of the helpers said Tatay is in his home office kaya doon ako dumeretso. I knocked on the door and turned the knob. He was behind his desk looking at papers.

"Tatay, are you busy?"

"Yes. What do you need?"

"Pwede po ba kitang kausapin?"

Nilapag n'ya ang mga papel na hawak n'ya at sumandal sa kanyang upuan. "What it is this about?"

Here goes. "Tatay, we've had a lot of disagreements about the decisions I have made. I know I've disappointed you pero 'Tay wala po akong pinagsisisihan. Hindi po ako masaya na palagi tayong nagkakasagutan at hindi ko po sinasadyang maging masamang anak sa paningin mo..."

"Iggy..."

"Tatay, just let me finish po. Baka hindi ko masabi lahat." He closed his mouth so I continued, "I know you're counting on me to take over the farm. I have to be honest with you, hindi ko pa po kasi nakikita ang sarili kong nagpapatakbo ng lahat ng ito. Pero I don't want to be unfair to you. You have worked hard to keep this business going to be able to provide for us. Kaya po I am willing to make a compromise with you, kung papayag po kayo."

"Go on," he said.

"Now that I've finished with school, pwede po bang gawin ko muna ang gusto kong gawin? Let me earn my own money. Hayaan n'yo po akong mamuhay dahil sa sarili kong pagsisikap."

"So where is the compromise in that?"

"After 2 years po at wala pa rin akong napapatunayan sa inyo, I will come back here and manage the farm with you."

He maintained a straight face kaya hindi ko alam kung galit ba s'ya sa sinabi ko o ano. "You know what? I admire you for having guts to talk to me about this. I guess college and being away from us really did you good. I am proud of you, son. And because of that I will agree with your compromise. Do what you want to do and be your own man. After 2 years let's sit down again and talk about your future."

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag dahil sa sinabi ni Tatay. Tama si Cleo, walang hindi nadadaan sa mabuting usapan.

"Thank you po, Tatay," ang sabi ko.

"So anong plano mo ngayon?"

"Kung okay lang po sa inyo ay magpapahinga lang muna ako ng 2 weeks bago maghanap ng trabaho. If I get a job, babalik po ako sa Maynila."

"Anong balak mong pasuking trabaho?"

"Siguro po 'yung may kinalaman sa Sales. Sabi po kasi ng isang prof ko ay isa 'yan sa mga strengths ko. Magaling daw po ako sa presentation at sa tingin n'ya ay magaling ako sa pangongobinse."

"I would have to agree with your professor. You just convinced me to give in to your compromise."

"Ha... ha... ha! Oo nga po."

"Anak, alam kong you want to be your own man but please let us still help you. If you need anything, just let me know. Kung kaya naming ibigay sa 'yo ay ibibigay namin. Anak ka pa rin namin kaya dapat lang na tulungan ka namin. Kahit magkaroon ka pa ng sarili mong pamilya, 'wag mong kakalimutan na pwede kang lumapit sa amin para humingi ng tulong kung kinakailangan."

"Opo, Tatay."

"Speaking of family... wala ka pa bang girlfriend?"

"Ha... ha... ha! Wala pa po eh."

"Wala ka bang nagugustuhan doon sa Maynila?"

"Meron po pero medyo komplikado po eh."

"Kayo talagang mga kabataan kayo, lahat ng bagay ginagawa n'yong komplikado."

"Basta 'Tay, mahirap po i-explain pero promise po, 'pag okay na ang lahat ay ipapakilala ko s'ya sa inyo."

Pagkatapos ng usapan namin ni Tatay ay bumalik ako sa aking kwarto. Dumapo agad ang paningin ko sa journal notebook namin na iniwan ko sa kama ko. Nahiga ako at binuksan ulit ito. As I was flipping through the pages, napadaan ako sa isang parte na hindi ko pa nakikita. Nasa bandang dulo iyon, nakahiwalay sa ibang pahinang nasulatan na. It was Cleo's handwriting and it said: Aug. 18, 9:30 am, Coop, with my red band. Let's find out what our connection is.

Is this what I think it is? She's reaching out to me. I'm pretty sure none of our professors saw this note. I don't think they would check every page of the journal for something like this. And even if they've read it, there's nothing more they can do.

August 18 is my date with destiny! This is it Javier, make it count!