What is love?

January 6 2012

Dear Diary,

Well bringing in the New Year was a full out fucking night mare. I thought Chris and I were working on us but clearly that was a lie. I can't trust him as of right now there is a damn tape of me and Chris having sex all over every social media site you can think of. I really hate him for this NOT only am I embarrassed I've also been in hiding. I can't believe this shit happened I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare.

Everybody has been calling me and texting me I've been ignoring everybody from my family to my best friend even Chris bitch ass has called me I damn sure don't have anything to say to him. Right now I'm laying in bed I keep watching the video over and over hoping it will be another girl but it's not it's me.

There was a knock at my door and lord knows I'm praying it's NOT August

"Who is it" I asked wiping my tears.

"Its Aug open up... why the door locked, 

God I thought you liked me yet you sent my brother to kill me. I thought as I opened the door

"The door shouldn't have been locked" I said going to sit back on my bed

"Okay.. then why do you have red eyes for? and don't say your allergies London." he said as he sat next to me. I felt like I was about to die.. because he was gone kill me and Chris... well Chris gone go first cause I ima run like hell.

"August I really don't wanna talk about please just leave it alone" I begged him wiping my tears that were slowly falling down my face.

"AWH shit lemme get my pistol!!! Who den done it? Was it that nigga Chris???" How do he know this stuff.

"August if I tell you have to promise you will NOT kill me remember I am pregnant and please don't yell at me "

God pleaseeee don't let this name boy yell at me or put his hands on me!

"Okayyy... Do I need a blunt and henny for this??" He question, I wanted to laugh but, this was serious.

"Um to be honest you need a whole bottle to yourself" I said looking at the floor because lord knows what I'm about to say is going to drive him to drink...

"RENEEEEEE!! Baby get daddy a drink and roll me up one.. Can you do that now please!!!.. You can continue." he said calmly.

"Um no I'll wait until Renee gets you that drink" I said still NOT looking at him.

Honestly I'm surprised Renee' hasn't told him yet since she told me, she came in with the shortest shorts on ever, ass all out, "here daddy.. henny and this... its strawberry flavored.." she gave him the hookah and he smirked at her and smacked her ass. A good ass distraction Renee', she winked at me and left out of the room.

"Okay.. continue, go on tell ya' big brother. I won't snap I promise.." Yes, you will...

"Um well I really don't know how to tell you but.... I have a sextape that's going around social media." I said a little above a whisper. He started laughing, hard at that.

"Stop lying.." he said as he blew out smoke.

I'm glad he find this shit funny thank GOD for his weed

"See that's the thing I'm NOT lying" I said crying he's going to kill me. He downed the henny and almost killed himself as he desperately inhaled the hookah

"Nah, you playing a cruel joke on me!!!... Go to your happy place August.." he was scaring me, he jumped up pacing and talking to himself. "YOU PLAYING right?! RIGHT?... RIGHT I said I wasn't going to get mad..." He sat down and all I could do was look at him crazy.

"I really wish I playing but no I'm not.. August I really need you to be my brother right now and NOT my enemy... I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up" I said moving to the other side of room not waiting to be in his eye sight.

"AWH DAMN DAMN DAMNNNN!!! I can't believe this, AND it's with Chris... LORD take the wheel please, cause if you don't ima bust this nigga over the head with it! And he posted this shit... i'm not mad at you.. i'm mad at him for pressuring you into it.. now come over here, we gonna figure this out.. But, if he loves you why would he post it London?? Do you got a death wish with someone?!"

"August I feel so stupid. I'm sorry I took this boy side when you tried to tell me.. August I thought he loved me I wasted how many years with him. what am I going to do August... I'm sorry I'm sorry" I said walking over to my brother. He held me in a tight embrace and kissed my forehead.

"we'll figure this out okay.. I promise you that.. I know people."

"Finally you handle it right August.." Renee' said, I heard a loud slap and August looked at her crazy.

"Don't be touching my ass, get you shiny ass head in that room, for i have to tear dat' ass up..."

"ew..."

"Don't you test me lil girl... You and Chris are not off the hook.. Your ground, and I don't want to hear a word about it." I'm glad he grounded me,

"August just one thing" I said rubbing my belly damn I can't believe I'm 7 months.

"Yeah, what's up Fat mama??"

"Really I'm pregnant NOT fat rudeness.. But um can you NOT kill him I would like Jamiyah to know who her daddy is please" I said as I got a text from Chris I should to tell August he textin my phone.

"Really, and i'm not high right now... do you see all that baby fat on you?? And I'll try not too.." he said with a shrug.

"And can you like get out of here with that smoke... trying to get me and my baby high.." he gave me a look and I quickly looked away.

"Yeah, lemme kick rocks so I can go fuck Renee', she had on them shorts.. hope she don't' got em' on na'."

"Um sorry brother but she wore them shorts for me.. and baby fat naw naw I'm just thick" I said laughing OMG will he stop texting me I yelled.

He chuckled. "Then why they say August A. on the back and gimme." He snatched the phone and put it in his pocket. "Punishment remember.."

"Because she was the distraction from you trying to kill me.. and fine keep the phone but tell Chris to stop texting me" I said looking at him go thru my phone.

"See, you should've hush. Now you and her are in trouble, lemme go handle her first... and Ima ring his damn neck, now sit cho' ass hea' and look at these whites walls cause you gone be in hea' all day.."

"Just think of Jamiyah when you ring his neck.. and um August when was the last time you went to the eye doctor my walls are blue and white and it's really NOT punishment for Nee' she like fuckin yo.." I said looking at him funny.

"Sit cha ass hea' like I said and stop talking back.. and my vision just fine, dammit..." he got up and slammed the door. Well then.

Well I guess I'm stuck in here all day but they NOT gone do much of anything with Chris texting and calling my phone

Later That Day

Still sitting in this room where I've been all day since I'm on punishment ughh I could kill Chris. I was in thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring oh how I wonder who it could be to bad I'm on punishment so I'm not answering the door. Only how I regret NOT opening the door cause I heard my brother yelling. I guess its safe to say I should go see who was at the door

"WHATTTTTTTT! DO YOU WANT???- Chris, Jackie? What y'all doing here?

I know damn well he did NOT come to my house with this hoe

"Chris why the hell are you and this hoe at my house" I said getting mad as the minutes went by

"This trick has something to tell you! That's why I been trying to get you to talk to me baby." Jackie made a face and Chris shoved her.

"Bitch don't put yo' hands on me!!" They got to arguing and August and Renee' came down the stairs to see what was going on all... hell, was, about, to break LOSE... I just backed up and watched it unfold... Ion wanna be in the way when, Renee' snatches Jackie up by her weave, again.