Chapter 24

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Lauren just drove around, thinking about everything that happened and how she
messed up again. she couldn't erase Camila's disappointed and hurt face from her
mind. And she knew that she would never forgive herself for that. You stupid bastard. You just always have to fail, don't you? She was mad. Mad at herself for being a sore loser. Mad at Camila for having this effect on her. Mad at the world for making her happy then taking it back. she was almost flying, going beyond her limit but she didn't care. All she could care about was how to feel better again. Lauren could handle everything but not a heartache. she didnt know what to do with the million tiny
pieces that her heart shattered into.

Damn! Damn! Damn you, Camila! I was okay. I was okay before. But
you had to show up. You had to care. You had to love me!

She didn't know that it would be this painful. And to think that they didn't even
break up. She wondered if she could possibly die should they ever cut their ties.
Because she could see it, plain as daylight, that she could not survive anymore
without Camila.

Fuck.

Lauren was so focused on her anger that she didn't notice the incoming truck from the
other side. she almost got hit but then she swerved on time and ended up skidding
at the side road, pulling to a complete stop a mere inches from a sturdy tree. she
could feel her heart banging on her chest, still shocked at what almost happened.
Or didn't happen. She rested her face in the palm of his hands, still cursing.
Damn. Failure!, no worth piece of shit she muttered, thinking of that near-miss.
she stayed there for a long time, her car sprawled on the roadside. she rested her
head on the carseat and closed her eyes, trying to think rationally. she knew how
her emotions could get the best of her and more often than not, they made her
think and do really stupid things.

You need to fix this, you need to fix it Lauren. For yourself. For Camila

she restarted the car once she knew that she was calm enough to hit the road again.
she didn't even know where to go. she doesnt want to go home it would only remind her of Camila. Every nook and cranny, every corner, held memories of her, Lauren wasnt ready it will just make hermore disappointed and hurt. she was still driving aimlessly when she saw that familiar roadsign, and she knew, in a heartbeat, where she ought to go. she was already feeling hopeful even before she got there, knowing that she was going to the one person who wouldn't judge her; that one person who would know the right things to say and could help her get out of this rut. That one person who could put her back on track. she rang the bell, praying that he was there and that she didn't come at a bad time. she felt grateful when the door opened.

"Lo? is there something wrong" obviously woken from sleep.

"Chrissss..."

"Oh my god, Lo. What happened?" he asked leading her in and closing the door behind them.

"Chrissss... I... I'm such a failure. I'm... I don't know what to do anymore. I think... I
think Camila hates me," she said, her voice cracking.

"Lo," her brother said in a soft voice. "Come here." she came crashing into her brother's arms without hesitation and sobbed like a baby, letting out all her pent up anger and frustration. he just let her pour it all out, not saying anything, just cuddling her like she was still his little sister.

They stayed like that for a long time, one giving comfort to the other who needed
it. When she finally sobered, Chris led her to a chair and said to her in a very
determined voice the words that she'd been needing to hear.

"Lauren, you are gonna fix this, and you are gonna fix this good. You are gonna get
your girl back. dont let this go, do you understand? You've come this far, Lolo. You've risked your heart. You have to go get her."

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