The Rules of the Red - 2nd Edition |✓|

Chapter Twenty-One, Part One - What Is And Cannot Be

Wednesday dawned. As soon as the first bleary rays of the sun hit my window, I jumped from the bed to begin my day in earnest. By the time breakfast came along, I had worked myself into such a state of anxiety that my food rolled in a frenzy with the butterflies in my stomach. I was so nervous for the day to end and the night to begin that I prowled restlessly up and down the halls of the manor. It didn't help that Mrs. Trentley popped up every ten minutes checking to see that I hadn't gone catatonic.

"Honestly," I said, as she followed me into the living room. "I'm alright. I knew I shouldn't have told you what Ethan and I talked about yesterday."

"But that's just such an awful lot of news to take in--that your father took his own life." Mrs. Trentley tried to force a bagel and bottled water into my hands. "You need your strength for that. Naomi, for god's sake, you look like you'll collapse any minute!"

"No, what I need is for you to stop worrying," I replied, dodging the water and the bread. "Everything is gonna be fine--including me."

Promises–they flew left and right from my lips these days. They were easy to make, yet even easier to break...

* * *

"Damn, I so wish I could go with you to Johl's party," said Addy, hours later on the telephone. I sat on the edge of my bed, sifting through a fashion magazine, distracting myself with conversation. "Anyway..." Addy sighed, and I realized my friend had troubles of her own. "I have dinner plans tonight with Collin's parents—but I'm, like, freaking out. Things with Collin are moving super fast--do you think this is too fast?"

"What I think, is that you are entirely in control, Ad. And I also think that you shouldn't let your perception of a 'dating timeline' jeopardize what you have with Collin. Are you happy?"

"Yes," Her answer was pure and without hesitation.

"Well then, if you're happy, why should that have to change? It's fight or flight. Somehow, when you weren't paying attention, you let Collin get close. And now, you're a little freaked out so you're thinking of running instead of fighting for what you really want..." In a sudden "ah-ha!" moment, clarity hit me too. There was a little bit of my own truth in that piece of wisdom I shared with Addy. "Addy, do you remember what was it that you told me at that party? You said, 'if you don't do it now'--"

"Then he might leave you wondering," she finished, sounding pleased. "You know what? You are so right. Whether Collin and I are moving too fast or not, we're happy. Plus, I'm meeting his parents! Isn't that, like, the unofficial way of saying 'we're official'?"

"Guess you'll find out tonight. But you're still going to Claudia's after dinner, right? Because I really Tidus to meet you. I don't wanna shelter you guys from each other anymore."

"I'll be there, cross my heart."

"Thanks," I said, feeling warm and grateful. "You'll never know how much I love you for that because, unfortunately, you'd only let it go to your head."

"You know it, behtch," Addy replied, in her usual cheerful scorn. "See you tonight. I'll be sure to send Collin your disregards..."

"Ha-ha, very funny. Tell him I said hello."

Just as I set the phone down I heard the deep, distant tone of the doorbell. I made my way from the room, closing the door behind me, before heading down the stairs. Mrs. Trentley was quicker. She was already in the foyer, opening the door, before I was even half-way down the staircase.

"Can I help you?" said Mrs. Trentley.

"Um, hi, I'm here to pick up Naomi?"

"Thanks, Mrs. T." She walked away and I took her position at the door. "Hi," I said, looking into the eyes of my date, who gave me a tentative smile. "Aww, you brought me another corsage," I said, touched, as I held out my hand. This one was large and pink, smelling like fresh earth.

"It's just a carnation," said Ethan, as he slipped the flower onto my wrist. "It means something about expressing gratitude. Anyway, I know it doesn't exactly match your dress, but I don't think anyone will notice..."

I could understand why Ethan was so dazzled by the dress. It was black–the color Johl Romaine requested–and of a soft, shiny material that sparkled. Complimenting my curves with its tightness, the long-sleeved dress covered just enough skin to remain classy.

Ethan was also impeccably dashing in dark jeans and clean, black Vans. He wore a dark t-shirt beneath a black, buttoned cardigan that was grey on the sleeves. Fresh from the shower, and smelling like the mountains, he raked his hands through hair that was perfectly tousled.

"The corsage is beautiful, Ethan, thank you. But I have to ask: what in the world could you possibly have to thank me for? I mean, I wasn't even sure you'd show up tonight. You were so upset the last time we saw each other that I just assumed..."

"That I would make you go to Ripley Hall, alone?" he said quietly. "Not a chance. I dropped by the bar a few hours ago to drown a few sorrows, and Lucas starts a conversation about me joining the Leadership. He said he talked to Addy's father, and they decided to approach the Elder about having me voted in." Ethan's grin stretched ear to ear. "And who could I possibly have to thank for that, Naomi?"

"It was nothing," I insisted. "Really..."

"Are you kidding?" He took my hand. "My dad's too depressed to leave his room, Eric won't talk to anyone, and Kimber's already throwing around the 'd' word. But if I can get a real position on the Leadership, I can support my family. And it'll be because of you."

"You're welcome," I gave a modest smile. "It was the least I could."

"Naomi, I still don't get it. Why would you help me? After every stupid, selfish thing I've done to you... why would you do this for me?"

"Because..." There was no easy way to say this, but I had to. "I care about you and I care about our friendship. I don't ever wanna lose that... or you. Ethan, you and Addy mean the world to me. You guys are my family, and I don't wanna do anything to jeopardize that."

"Ouch," he said, with a wince and a bitter smile. "The friend-zone speech. Gotta admit, didn't think I'd ever be on the receiving end of one of those."

The pause was unbearable, but I forced myself to suffer through it because I knew I deserved to. I'd broken his family and his heart all in one day. This pain I felt was more than justified.

"Hey, you know what?" I said. "If you really wanna thank me for something..." I reached inside my clutch.

"My phone!" said Ethan, accepting the gift in relief. "Dude, I've been looking everywhere for it. I thought for sure I was gonna have to order a new one. Where'd you find it?"

"Oh, it was... somewhere... in my car."

"See." He grinned. "Now I really do have to find a way to thank you..."

"Well, if you insist." I stepped around him and through the front door. "I'm sure you'll find a way."

"Seriously? In that dress? I can think of several..."

I turned to flash Ethan a look, but his wolfish lip-biting broke my resolve. Instead I accepted the compliment, shaking my head as he closed the front door behind us. "You're not gonna make this 'friend-zone" decision easy for me, are you?".

"Nope. Not even a little."

His limo was beyond the gate, parked at the curb. He caught up with me, and took my hand, leading me across the lawn like a gentleman and even interceding the driver in opening my door. I had just enough time to catch the roguish look of approval the driver shot Ethan before I slid, lady-like, into the backseat.

"Hey brother, I know you wish that was your future wife, huh?" I heard Ethan whisper as the driver gave him a good-natured slap on the shoulder.

* * *