The Stalkers' Guide To Roadtrips

Day 36: Important Conversations Are Always Interupted

Previously I would have taken Levi up on his offer but I am determined to prove him wrong and so I simply push past him and walk through the door, brushing my shoulder against his. As I begin to walk away Levi grabs me by the waist and pulls me against his front. He rests his head on top of mine and hugs me tighter.

"Morning Jess," he whispers before releasing me.

"Morning," I mutter back.

"So what makes me deserve your presence this early in the morning," Levi asks, "because as much as I love it I thought I heard you guys leaving about an hour or so ago."

"Rosie and Elise went out, I was still asleep so they decided me and you could spend the morning together."

"You don't sound excited about that."

"I would be if you weren't half naked."

"Sorry," Levi says.

He then proceeds to haphazardly pull on a flannel shirt before turning to me with a crooked smile.

"Is this better?" He asks.

"Maybe try trousers too," I suggest.

"You know you really are one of the great minds of our time. You come up with such inventive ideas."

"What can I say? I like to think outside the box."

"It's exhilarating to watch," Levi teases.

He then reaches over and intertwines his fingers through mine before pulling me closer and wrapping an arm around me.

"Hey Levi, not that I mind but what's with the constant intrusion of my personal space today?" I ask.

"I need to talk to you about something."

"O-kay."

My stomach suddenly drops because last time Levi said that to me it didn't end well. It ended with Gemma and a broken heart.

"I had a dream last night," Levi starts.

"Did you drive out to see Las Vegas?"

Perhaps I should be more worried by the look on Levi's face but I have heard him recount his dreams many a time and so I don't feel like there's anything to be worried about. The last dream Levi told me was about a genetically mutated duck that was the size of a horse and went on a rampage killing people. (Levi counted this as a dream rather than a night mare because in the end he killed the duck).

"Seriously Jess," Levi says, "please don't quote songs at me right now."

And instantly I am on edge because although Levi doesn't get worried all that much, I have learnt to recognise the signs when he does. It's as if his voice transforms to make him sound about ten years younger and he chews on his lip furiously every single time. So I am worried, because he sounds exactly like he did when he was worried about Rosie being bullied at school in Year 9 when I found him in his back garden crying and he sounds exactly like he did when we sat in the empty warehouse in Copenhagen and he told me he didn't want to grow up.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a dream last night," Levi repeats, "and we said goodbye at the end of this trip. And we carried on talking for a bit and then I said something that pissed you off so you started ignoring me. And I was trying to get back in your good books, like I was calling and texting you every day, and I even wrote you fucking letters, like who even does that anymore? And you never replied but I presumed you were still just mad at me. And then I get back from uni and I go round to your house ready to apologise in a way right out of an eighties movie but your mum answers the door and she's confused as to why I'm there and she says she missed me at the funeral and you were dead Jess, and the last thing I fucking said to you was something really mean and I know it's not real or anything but I kind of hate myself for it."