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One day, I swear I'm going to turn fangirling into a well paying, lucrative and just all round kick ass career.

But until then? Whaddup wifi, pizza and being anti-social.

Wow I really need to conjure upmyself a life, as in like three years ago.

Oh well.

I scrolled through my twitter feed one more time before closing the tab, you know just in case I missed a wet Theo James picture somewhere or in the hopes of finding the one brain cell I lost during the last two hours. I won't even dare touch Tumblr because I know for a fact I'm going to end up staying on there for two more hours while reevaluating my entire existence.

I shut down my laptop after fifteen minutes of my finger hovering over the off button and my other finger scrolling through Tumblr because I lack self control.

I connected it to the charger -letting it chill there and get CPR and such- before grabbing my Ipod, earphones and a chair so that I could lounge in the backyard and get my daily dose of vitamin Niall. I'll get to that in a few.

I then set up my ultimate spot of relaxation and cute-boy-ogling. It consisted of a bean bag, a tiny table for my apple juice & Oreos, my Ipod plugged into the speaker dock thingy blasting "Come and get it" by Selena Gomez , a good book [Dude, You're a Cat by Ruth Huddersfield] , some sunscreen -because I'm prone to turning into a human tomato after basking in the sun too long- and my fancy as fuck sunhat.

I took a few seconds to thank the heavens for this lovely weather because after such a treacherous Winter, we really deserve some sun.

I allowed myself to get completely engulfed by my bean bag and sat there like a some cool mofo while sipping on my apple juice on the rocks.

I opened my book to where I ended up the last time I read it, and proceeded to dive into the amazing world of science fiction.

A few minutes in -right when Lola is about to tell Prof Higgins that she's a cat hybrid- a loud raucous of scooter wheels traveling unnaturally fast, caused me to stop. Well that and loud boisterous laughs courtesy of Niall himself (and his army of insanely cute and goofy idiots) and Mrs Burgerberg screaming at them to "shut the fuck up!"

Horrible language for a lady her age if you ask me. Tisk Tisk. I blame it on her unfortunate name to be honest. She was probably teased as a kid.

Now enter Niall James Horan. Teenage heartthrob who has girls, and some boys alike, falling arse over tits in love or at least in deep like with him.

He's got a beautiful, bright smile, complete with braces and heart stopping eyes that are a shade of blue that I have never come across on my life. His laugh is legitimately the best thing since sliced bread. I swear he's always smiling if not laughing, especially when his friend Louis is around. The boy breathes and Niall is all up in stitches. This kid hasn't been chill in four years man.

He's got bleach-blonde dyed hair, that's actually only blonde on top, but naturally he's a brunet.

A blue-eyed brunet masterpiece. Let that sink in.

There was a time where he hadn't dyed it in a while and I was literally holding my breath for the time when it actually became all brown.

Would've been quite a sight to behold. Too bad he went and dipped his entire head in blonde hair dye before I could even live out my wildest fantasies.

Oh who am I kidding, he looked like sunshine on a stick, and I am most certainly not complaining.

He's all round ball of Irish -YES HE'S IRISH! THE ACCENT, HIS VOICE AND EVERYTHING! NOBODY FUCKING TOUCH ME- gumdrops and lollipops and I'm sort of maybe just a bit into him. Shoot me, he's near damn perfect. Like honestly he's not even a bag of tits or anything. He's so sweet and kind and has this massive heart of gold and sometimes I just wanna lick his face.

Sigh.

Anybuns, back to the present, which would be Niall - along with Harry Styles, who's in my History class and is all terrible puns and knock knock jokes. It's adorable really.

Then there's Liam Payne who's an all round goofball and dorky genius type thinglet and is terrible at spelling, he's a paradox I swear. And there's Zayn Malik, the walking Dior ad and Louis Tomlinson, the best football player our school has ever seen and class clown of the century. They're all so great.

They were with a few of their other friends, Ed, Aiden and Andy and a seemed to be having a gran ol' time rolling down the street looking fresh as fuck and not having a care in the world.

They (Niall) didn't even glance in my direction once, which I guess is for the best considering they're on the road and could crash into a pole if they're not paying attention, but it still sucks balls.

Sigh. Again.

Oh well, at least wifi will never leave nor ignore me.

I should probably look into laws regarding getting married to inanimate ...networks?

Yeah, WiFi and I.

Zifi. The Dream Team.

Whaddup son.

*sobs* what even is my life.

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got lightning in a bottle || n.h auWhere stories live. Discover now