Fighting Fate

Chapter 26

Two days later, Erik was leaving for the fight. "I can't believe you have to do this again," I told him. We stood at his car in an embrace, foreheads touching with Carmen on my hip.

"It has to happen. But after, I'll come right back."

"Don't let your pride get you killed, Erik. If Fenrir makes an appearance, use his help. Don't hold back. Show them the new reality. Even before you do the invocation I want you to be as untouchable as I am." He nodded and kissed my forehead.

"I have too much to fight for to let honor or pride get in the way. I'm coming home to you both. I promise." He kissed me again then kissed Carmen before leaving. She cried into my shoulder, understanding this was somewhat of a goodbye. even if it was a goodbye for now.

Sitting at the house without him was just an exercise in how much anxiety I could build. The city felt my emotions through the shaking and strong winds. A little after two pm, Eva arrived with Nicolette in tow. "Hey, I know Erik left today. so I thought Carmen and Nic could have a playdate and you and I could talk." I nodded and let her in.

We set the girls up on a playmat on the floor and moved to sit on the couch together. "You want anything to drink? I have fresh pomegranate juice."

"Sounds great." I nodded and walked to go get them. We sipped in silence at first.

"I'm sorry about how everyone reacted to Carmen. I know it seems selfish," I scoffed, "Okay it is a bit selfish but it is kind of self-created, Amour. You have to take responsibility. You have started a lot of things here. And I'm sorry that means you can't drop what you're doing and have a family. And it feels unfair to say it to you, especially considering Nicolette and the fact that she wouldn't be here without you. Just think of how you'd feel if Carmen or anyone got hurt because of their connection to you. And you're just not able to protect them. how would you feel?"

"I understand all of that. But I believe I can do both. It doesn't matter anyways. Erik thinks Carmen should go back to the pack after all of this." We hadn't really talked about it. But I knew Erik thought Carmen should be raised with them instead of the two of us. And maybe one day, his opinion would change but he was her alpha and I was respecting that.

"I'm sorry. You know it's not about you being a good mother. He knows you'll be a good mother, Amour. I know it too. You believe that, right?" I looked up at her through trapped tears. It didn't feel like that anymore. I kept searching through my actions to figure out what made so many people change their mind. Eva scooted closer and put her arm around me. "I understand this must be confusing. But if after all of this, you decide you want Carmen, or a different baby, or your own baby, I will support you one hundred percent. And I will be very excited to be the godmother to them." There was a flash of light then I looked up to see Morgan.

"Where have you been?" I asked her with tears now falling from my eyes.

"In my dimension. One of my daughters had just given birth to her first child. I enjoyed watching them together." More babies. Babies that weren't mine. I nodded and left the room, knowing Carmen would be safe with them.

I went upstairs and began pacing in my room. The wind picked up outside and a light sprinkle of rain began. Barely enough to tap against the window. Tears rolled down my face as I tried to breathe. A knock sounds against my door. "I'm coming in," Morgan said, refusing to take no for an answer. She came in and shut the door behind her but said nothing.

"Did you know I wanted to be a mother in my last life too?"

"You don't mention it but with the way that you are, it doesn't surprise me."

"I just never found the right guy. Or the right me. I don't know. The Fates have always had everything in store for me except what I truly want."

"They are gods, they don't care what you want. If they have any interest in you, it will be for their own goals."

"I know that. I do. I just, why can't it ever be me? Why can't I ever just get the normal relationship or the normal progression of things? Why is it that my life has to be so much more damn complicated than everyone else's? Even yours. So I know it's not because I'm an enchantress."

"You got it in one, Amour. It's because the gods have made their interest clear. They have taken a special interest in you. And you are smart enough to not see it as the gift most would believe it to be." She sat down on my bed, "I understand the unfairness of this all. I truly do. For years everyone around you has told you to live and now that we need you, we have asked you to give up your life. But, let me remind you, you're immortal. These years. One or three or five or ten or even twenty, they will feel like the blink of an eye soon. I can promise you that."

"Can you remember your first lifetime vividly?" Morgan looked confused. I supposed I needed to word it differently. "Like your first lifespan in this world. Being Arthur's sister and Merlin's scorned apprentice."

"Of course."

"Then you understand why I want to live now. With my family. With my Grams. I don't want to wait because the same people won't be here. I want my child to grow up knowing Nicolette as a child, not a grown adult."

"There still is time for that."

"She grows larger by the day. And according to you all, I'm quite far away from being a mother."

"That's not what I said. I just said the timing is wrong. Carmen has a path. It is not with you. I'm not telling you as a friend who is worried about you. I'm telling you as your mentor that sees things you can't." It frustrated me that she always had that up on me. She could see my possibilities. I couldn't see hers so I found it quite unfair.

"So then tell me, Morgan, when will I get to be a mother?"

"You know I won't answer that. I never have for those closest to me. Life can not be watched out for. It just must be lived. I have never seen my own future. I understand what you're going through. But I have to keep living. And I've had to do quite a lot longer than you have. Let me tell you, some years were not so easy." I struggled to hold the tears inside and Morgan sat down next to me. She rubbed my back. "You should focus on other parts of that life. Why don't you get married? That always takes my mind off things." I choked out a laugh. That definitely sounded like Morgan.

"He hasn't asked me. I can't plan a wedding before getting a fiance," I told her and she shrugged.

"We can just start planning in preparation for the future. The near future," she hinted to me and I looked up from my lap with a small smile.

"He's gonna propose?" I asked her.

"What I said is all I'm saying and that is that. It will all come in time, Amour."

"Will you at least tell me if I beat Bonnie and Zenia?" Morgan moved quickly from next to me, causing me to have to catch myself on the bed. "Fine, fine. No more questions."

"Now come down stairs and spend as much time as you can with Carmen. I'm not taking no for an answer. Let's go. Off your arse." I rolled my eyes but got up anyway.

Carmen went home a couple weeks later. I wasn't as heartbroken as I thought I'd be. I missed her. Completely. But Erik took her back to the packhouse and quickly returned so we could have some time together with just the two of us. We sat in bed after one of our sessions. I traced my finger over his body lightly. "I missed you. I'm glad everything went okay."

"I am too. And I know you miss Carmen but that will be us one day, okay?"

"How do you know?" I asked in a soft voice, refusing to look at him.

"The gods have shown me, of course."

"But how do you know they are the children of you and I?"

"I just do. And you just have to trust me." he cupped my face and brought our lips together.

A/N: I love Erik and Amour. They are literally always endgame. Even in different lives/timelines. If Erik's soul exists, he will be with Amour's soul.