Chapter: 52

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RYLAN

Elena was more addictive than anything I had ever come across. Every time she peered up at me with those intoxicating blue eyes I was lost a little more in them. From the moment I had sunk into her, I knew I was done for. I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted to. Honestly I didn't want to either.

It was around four in the morning that we were laying in bed. I had my hands wrapped around her waist as I spooned her from behind. I was thoroughly exhausted but still not sleepy. From what I could make out listening to her uneven breathing, she wasn't sleeping either.

"After I broke up with Mason...it was just too difficult for me." I had gone stiff against Elena at the mention of his name. I didn't know why she brought him up again but something heavy was settling down on my chest. The amount of emotions loaded in her voice felt like a pinch. Why did the gulp feel so painful?

"I had been with that guy for so long and he just...his betrayal had shaken me." I wasn't prepared for this. This sudden narration had me at a loss of words. I knew what heartbreak felt like. Keeping shut seemed most appropriate in the given circumstance.

"A few days later I found out that I was pregnant." I stoned for a second, the turn all too unexpected. A sharp inhale followed. She was pregnant but the child wasn't there. From the distant note in her voice, the whole ordeal sounded painful.

"You don't have to tell me now. I know it's tough for you." I pressed a kiss on her shoulder followed by one against her neck. Today's events had an impact on Elena. She was trying to force out every thing and it doesn't take a genius to realise that it wasn't being easy for her.

"I want to tell you. I don't want to keep anything from you." She turned and lay on her back, meeting my eyes for two brief seconds before the ceiling had all her attention. In those brief two seconds I saw how important it was for her to get it off her chest.

"I was four weeks long. I always sucked while handling my emotions. It was right after everything that happened and I was so messed up in my head. I just decided that I couldn't go on with this pregnancy." I noticed her throat bobbing. The moisture that had earlier gathered in her eyes, rolled down her face. I pressed her body closer to mine, like I had conjured some way to take away some of the pain through the physical connection.

"Do you regret it? The abortion?" A single blink followed by a silenced-etched minute. To anyone it would seem like she hadn't heard me but something told me that the lack of a definite answer was the reason.

"I haven't figured it out till date." She softly added.

"Had I kept the child, I would have had to tell Mason about it sooner or later but what kind of father would he have been to that child? Just thinking about that makes me feel that I made the right decision. I too wasn't ready for the child." Elena stopped abruptly, and I knew she wasn't done here. Her mind was listing the alternate options.

"But then again sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had actually had the baby."

"I hate that I wasn't stronger than that." It was a weak declaration, a note of acceptance.

"Hey, hey! Don't say that. You are strong!" I lift my upper body up on my elbow to look at her.

"No, Rylan, I—"

"Abortion isn't a crime, you know that right?" I had to cut her off before she could wallow deeper into the self accusations.

"You think what I did was right?" She was staring intently into my eyes, seeking validation, like my opinion was the last thing she was counting on.

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