Slave Or King (A Twisted Fairytale)

Chapter 57: Facing The Enemy Part I

Alexander's POV

I was hardly sitting in one place when the physician examined me. The monster in me wanted out. He wanted to destroy and take his prize away but I knew better. My child's life was in the hands of another man and maybe my wife's heart too.

I walked to the chamber where Tiara was staying. I did enough carnage for one day, right now I needed something to soothe me, and nothing could calm me like Tiara could. The problem was she could make me just as much crazy so I really hoped she wouldn't choose that option today.

I didn't knock for fear of waking her up if she was asleep. It was a hard day even in normal circumstances don't speak about now that she was pregnant. As I've guessed she was sleeping, seemingly not having a good dream because sometimes she moaned in discomfort and she was frowning in her sleep.

I went closer and touched her forehead, massaging it slowly, "Are you having nightmares about me?" I knew it was the case. Right at this moment, I was the most fearful creature in her life. I didn't like it but it was something I brought upon myself and her.

I sat beside her on the bed and continued massaging her, "I thought I was going to die Tiara. When you weren't with me my pieces were everywhere. I was so shattered. I can't go on without you putting me back together."

I saw her eyebrows parted so I put my forehead on her chest to relieve the pain I was feeling.

Was it wrong for me to want this woman all to myself? Was it wrong for me to want salvation?

Suddenly I felt a soft caress on my hair, stroking gently like I was made of glass capable of breaking any moment. Maybe I was.

"What did the physician say?" She asked. I could sense the weight of the whole world on her as she spoke.

"My wounds aren't serious." I assured her.

"I saw your wounds and I can tell you're bullshiting me right now."

I chuckled, despite our situation Tiara made me want to laugh, to be happy, to fall.

It seemed my laugh annoyed her cause she pulled my hair to silence me.

"Be serious." She ordered.

I smiled and said, "He said they aren't life-threatening."

She pulled my hair again but this time gently, indicating that I should raise my head and look at her. I didn't want to but I did.

I raised my head slowly and looked at her eyes, the eyes that I would gladly die for as she put her hand on my cheek. A lone tear makes its way on her face slowly dropping into the mattress to be lost forever. Gone.

"Those two words are completely different." She said.

"The fact that you still worry about me makes me happy to no end."

"How did we reach this point?" She murmured.

I shifted and hugged her from behind while lying down. Her back to my front.

"I'm sorry." I said knowing full well I was the sole reason for our relationship to be this disastrous.

I drew circles on her stomach with my finger gently, "I'm sorry."

She didn't answer. I didn't expect her to. I could never be forgiven. A monster like me could never dream about forgiveness.

"Samael!" She murmured so quietly like it was a sinful word to be said or heard.

I choked up as my tears threatened to fall.

"How dearly you did love Samael that you're tolerating a monster like me just because I'm his mirage!" I whispered into her ear.

The time she wasn't with me memories came flooding back, not all of them and they weren't intact but I still could see glimpses at Samael and his obsession with his nightingale and the love Tiara showed to that unwanted and gloomy child.

"You aren't a mirage, you're him and he's you."

"Do you really believe that?" I asked. When she told me she didn't do anything with Arzhan I believed her instantly. I just wanted to make her angry like I was that's why I kept arguing with her. I could see sincerity when she told me she didn't cheat on me. I could tell easily if she lied but she didn't and it made me want to cry from happiness but the one who she didn't have the heart to betray wasn't me, it was her Samael.

"I know both of you more than anyone else, more than yourselves even. I loved both of you. I hated both of you. If you were a mirage do you think I couldn't tell?" She turned around looking at me in the eyes.

"Have you ever thought about coming back to me when you were here?"

"I did. Multiple times in fact but I tried my hardest to resist. For my child's safety and mine."

"You don't feel safe with me." I stated.

"That's an absurd thing to say. Of course, I don't." She said a little louder than her previous tone.

"I'm sorry." I repeated.

She sighed, "What is it about Frederick's execution?"

"It was our plan."

"He cooperated with you?" She asked surprised.

"Both of us were afraid, thinking you were kidnapped. It was our only way."

I told her all about our plan and what we did to find her. She was shocked that we could put enmity aside and actually work together.

"Where is he now?" She asked.

"Yoshua is managing the kingdom's affairs right now. Frederick stayed behind to protect him."

She was relieved that her friend was safe.

"Arzhan." She said but didn't continue.

I wounded my arms around her tighter.

"Not right now. Don't speak about him tonight." My voice trembled as I begged her to let me have this moment.

She placed her hands on my arms, "No matter your identity you're always my Samael so please don't be afraid."

I trembled as my tears kept coming without restraint.

Who am I?

A question I asked myself over and over again. Who were my parents? Who were my family? Samael didn't know and after Tiara came to his life this question seemed to lose its importance little by little. Alexander thought he knew who he was but it was all a lie.

And suddenly someone came along who knew way more than me or Tiara did. When I sparred with Arzhan he spoke like he knew too many secrets and one thing I found out about him in all these years was that Arzhan never bluffed. He was a calculating man and his very steps were planned meticulously.

I didn't care who I was but for me to come out of the shadows of my past and for Tiara to forget the past and be freed I'd to do this. I'd to know who I was to finally accept my previous self and become a better person.

I'd have this peace with Tiara just for tonight and tomorrow, tomorrow would be the time for facing the enemy.