The Journey To Happiness

Chapter 42

"Harper how does A Kind of Spark make you feel" Dr Michelle asked I made no contact at all focusing on my phone I barely even heard her voice.

AMELIAS POV

"Harper" I warned

"No it's okay Dr Shepherd, she's very hyper focused distracting her could make her frustrated, Harper is living in a different cognitive reality this is her own world, how she sees it is different to individual with  a neurotypical neurotype, disturbing her from her own world can make her feel upset, angry any emotion she may present is her way of showing she doesn't want to be disturbed wether she presents it through a meltdown or crying" Dr Michelle said and I listened to every word carefully. She was right, how my teenager saw the world was different to how I saw it and I had to accommodate to her despite how scared I was of her having such intense interests that they consumed her entire existence.

"I guess your right, I'm just worried that I'm losing her she's so focused on this show she barely comes out of her bedroom, it's all she talks about at meal times, meetings with teachers at her school all say the same thing, she's not focused at school and constantly writes about A Kind of Spark instead of doing her actual school work" I said in a rather worried tone.

"Harper is in a deep hyper fixation she's escaping to a fantasy world, that is full of her reality her thoughts her feelings what she loves, her dreams, day dreams every thought she has is about that show, she is highly hyper fixated and I understand your concerns the best for Harper is for us to work on ways we can get her detached it's hard as she shows such an intense liking to this almost as if she's latching onto something she has been missing or craving" Dr Michelle said.

I instantly knew why she had became addicted to this show, she missed the drugs, the cutting this show was an escape from that reality, this new reality was something she could escape to.

"She's a recovering addict and recovering from self harm could that be why?" I asked needing an answer on my thoughts
"Ah yes I did read about her addiction in her patient file and totally that could be the reason she's getting attached to a show, but also she's found a show where there is people like her, she sees herself in it, feels like she can fit in that could also be a reason why she is escaping to a fantasy world of her interests" Dr Michelle said.

"Does she hang out with any girls her own age who also share her experiences with autism and ADHD" Dr Michelle said.
"No all I know is she doesn't have many friends as school, she gets bullied a lot to the point she refuses school, the only person I know she hangs out with is her boyfriend" I said realising Harper's circle consists of surgeons, fire fighters, her boyfriend and little kids.
"Plus with Harper's selective mutism communication is rather hard, yet she seems to trust family and close friends" I said.

Dr Michelle nodded understandingly, "I run a support group of autistic girls with similar traits, I'm sure we could talk about Harper joining our weekly sessions" Dr Michelle said "And her selective mutism, it seems she has progressed as she is able to speak to a group of people which is great to hear" Dr Michelle said.

I peered over to my teenager who was still fixated on her phone watching a scene as I noticed her itch the side of her leg.

Dr Michelle also must of noticed this as Harper started to become rather restless, she fidgeted and moved around on her chair.

HARPERS POV:

The itching of my clothes made it feel like my skin was burning, every part of me itched as I wanted to scream and rip my clothes off. I turned my phone off as I couldn't focus on my show anymore, I slid down onto the floor and began to rock back and forth.

The overload had started, I wasn't paying attention to the soothing voices of Mom and Dr Michelle, it wasn't helping.

I sat picking at the tights creating holes as I eventually ripped them off, I felt a feeling of relief but noticed how much my sleeves itched, soon followed by all my clothes itching.

My body was screaming, my head was pounding, my whole body felt like a sauna. I could feel my Mom's arms wrap me into a bundle, as I felt the feeling of her jump itch my face I began to wriggle and cry.

I couldn't help but scream and kick as the feeling became more present, I was in a sensory overload over clothing, something that never really bothered me.

My sensory issues kept changing and changing, recently I had noticed that everything seemed so much brighter, so much more louder than it did before. I often had the feeling of hiding away more, the hospital lights were the worst as I noticed how the light would flicker slightly, something I never noticed before.

I felt hands on my shoulders I flinched as the feeling caused me distress. I placed my hands over my ears and my head tucked into my knees as I crawled up into a ball and began to rock trying to self sooth.

"Harper" I heard muffled voices call out repeatedly as I was still rocking, hyperventilating quickly and loudly.
"Harper breath" I heard quietly, my hands were still on my head snuggly muffling the sounds, I couldn't quite make out what was said.

My breathing faster and faster and faster, I could feel a sickly sensation in my stomach as a wush of sickness tickled my throat, the contents of my stomach pouring out as I felt each of my fast shaky breathes.

AMELIAS POV:

"Harper" I said as my daughter made herself sick from the overload and the anxiety.

I had never seen her like this, it was bad, she wasn't breathing to the point I had to call Maggie.

Maggie was listening to Harper's heart the best she could as the teenager wriggled unliking the feeling of contact.
"I'm going to have to admit her, she's making herself sick, she's not breathing properly, her heart is fast" Maggie said as she sat next to Harper who was in a fragile state.

"Get a gurney" I shouted to a nurse, as we lifted up Harper who was wriggling and kicking, I didn't want to hurt her I knew she didn't want to be touched, but this was unhealthy she was making herself sick and unable to calm down.

As we rushed her into a room, Arizona came in immediately as I had paged her immediately.

Harper was unable to calm down, I was worried I had never seen her like this.
"Let's push a mild sedative" Maggie said as the nurses started to inject a sedative into her IV to attempt calm Harper down.

Harper slowly started to calm down as her breathing slowed and her heart rate came to a normal pace.
————
"I want to keep her in for a few days, observe her breathing and heart rate, I know it was caused by a sensory overload and eventually a meltdown, but she made herself sick, she's in an extreme state I'm worried for her" Maggie said as she talked to me outside of the patients room Harper was staying in.
"Yeah thank you Maggie, I'm worried too extremely worried I've never seen her that bad, I don't know what she's been holding in, but from the research I've been doing her sensory needs can change as she gets older and I'm just hoping it's not going to be worse then I've just seen" I said frightful of what it's going to be like for Harper.

Authors Note:

AHHH HARPER

Should I make Harper require to wear ear defenders often, while she's at home, the hospital etc, but not at school as she masks.
I think it would be a good storyline if I make harper have a verbal shutdown as she's just been through a draining sensory overload and I can imagine her just going into a shutdown and needing to accommodate her needs more.

What do we think?