Harper (Kenzie Ziegler face claim) is a 15 year old foster kid who struggles with her MH and diagnosed with autism, ADHD and selective mutism, her life is changed when she is rushed to Grey Sloan after her attempt, she meets Dr Amelia Shepherd and i...
Mom and I walked into the block where the NA meetings were being held, she held my hand knowing how anxious I got in social situations especially ones with unfamiliar people.
"You don't have to speak, but try to listen and focus sweetie" She said rubbing the back of my hand, I nodded taking deep breaths in and out to sooth my anxious feeling.
The meeting opened with a prayer that was familiar to me as I had been to regular meetings. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." We all read aloud.
My leg bouncing up and down, Mom looked over and noticed. She placed her hand on my leg even though it was still bouncing it soothed me. I hated that I needed to stim, I didn't want to do it in public nor in front of people. I always felt ashamed of my stims, I often flap my hands and bounce up and down. I hated to do it in public, so I repressed my stimming and tried to sit still and remain calm. ————— The meeting was over, I needed a little break just to collect my self and stim in private. "I'm just going to the bathroom" I asked Mom as we exited the hall. "I'll wait outside the door" She said as I entered the bathroom.
I paced around the empty space flapping my hands and bouncing a little. I stood in front of the mirror composing myself. I took out my phone and took a quick selfie posting it to my Instagram and Snapchat story with the caption OOTD.
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Today I actually remembered to wear my glasses which is something I struggle with, I felt a bit more confident as I styled them well with my outfit.
I headed out the bathroom where Mom was standing scrolling on her phone looking at my recent Instagram post.
"You good?" She asked smiling, I nodded as I felt a bit better, but still anxious. "You're very pretty you know that" She said bopping my nose. I smiled a little holding my hands together anxiously. It was awkward, I barely ever get called pretty and I sure didn't feel like it most days. ————— When we reached the house I kind of just crashed on the couch, I felt exhausted and somewhat a feeling of burnout. I wasn't sure what this feeling was, but I didn't like it one bit. I brushed it off, and tried to take a nap.
AMELIAS POV:
"Harper!" I called for her only to see she was asleep on the couch, bless her it's been such a long past few days for her. Her body needed a rest and I continued to make dinner as Maggie and Meredith would be returning later as they were on call, I had to cook dinner for the kids.
I heard small yawn, I looked up and Harper was stood there she sat down at the small bar stool and placed her elbow on the table and rested her chin smiling at me.
"What you smiling at" I asked cheekily. "Nothing" She chuckled. "Come help me with dinner" I said unsure why she was so smiley, but I was happy to see her laughing and giggling.
"You called me pretty?" I heard a small voice mumble. "Yes because you are!" I said truthfully, I admired my beautiful daughter her eyes glowed green and her skin shon. "Oh.." She said seeming a little shocked and unsure as her voice trembled slightly. "Do you not think you're pretty?" I questioned confused how she could ever think she wasn't pretty. "Erm.. it's not that" She said a little bit unsure, I looked at her and gave her a slight smile, still admiring her everlasting beauty. ————— I was taking a spoonful the pasta sauce, realising it was quite bland in taste. I began take out some more onions, tomatoes, salts and peppers to add some more flavour. "I'll help chop the tomatoes " My teenager said as she carefully diced the tomatoes into small cubes. I was impressed by her talent and how precise she was. I stood there just smiling at her every move.
Harper looked up to me, "What?" She asked noticing how I was stood smiling at her. "Nothing, I was just impressed how precise you are, you'd make a good surgeon!" I chuckled, and it was the truth she was rather careful with the tomato making sure every small cube was a similar size, she was fast but precise something a surgeon needed. "My Mom and Dad taught me how to cook French dishes and Italian dishes" She said smiling at the memory.
"You said I'd make a good surgeon? I mean I don't think I will" She chuckled, I rolled my eyes in disagreement. I guess we never really have talked about what she wanted to do, she's coming up to the age where she needs to be considering her college choices. ————— Dinner was ready and Harper was helping to set the table, as I got the kids down for dinner. We all sat at the table, Harper practically cooked the whole meal. I must say it was delicious, she had quite the talent for cooking and so many more.
"Harper, have you thought about what you would want to do as a career or even what college?" I asked genuinely interested in my daughter's career choices. She shrugged her shoulders, "I used to want to be a mermaid, but that's a bit unrealistic" She laughed. "I want to be a mermaid!" Ellis said with awe. "I'm sure you will make a great mermaid" Harper said as both laughed at Ellis desires for a tail and fins. ————— I was still quite interested in what Harper wanted as a career or even college, she should try her best at school even if she struggles with it, I've never really spoken to her about school, she tends to just shutdown after she comes home from school.
I sat down next to Harper, she was sat on the couch scrolling through Netflix. "Harper, how's school?" I asked knowing the semester was nearly over and she would be getting her first report card. When I asked her the question she bowed her head down and looked at her fingers where she was fidgeting, not responding to my question.
HARPERS POV:
Shit! What was a I going to tell her? The truth that I had been skipping school most of the time, or I was bad at school education. She's a surgeon a doctor she'd be disappointed she'd expect me to be smart. But honestly I'm not I can barely even pay attention in school let alone understand any of the work, especially maths and science. My Mom was a doctor for gods sake and I couldn't even understand maths or science, I'm such a failure.
"Schools fine" I said as a tear escaped my eye, I couldn't wipe it away without being noticed by my Mom. My Mom looked at me, my eyes sobbed. "Sweetie, what's wrong? School isn't fine is it, what's happened?" She said, I stayed silent not wanting to speak. I knew the semester was ending and I would receive a report card my attendance was low and my grades I couldn't possible imagine what they would be like.
"It's nothing" I said rushing up stairs in pure embarrassment. The fact I was crying about skipping school and having bad grades, I'm such a wimp sometimes I wish I was normal honestly. My emotions always feel so strong, this stupid brain of mine. —————— I layed on my bed trying not to think, but my anxiety of course telling me to cut. I didn't want to really I didn't, but the sewing needle I found was in my hand. I began to scratch at my wrist with the needle, it wasn't deep but it soothed me.
The door opened, I didn't think much of it, but of course Mom walked in grabbing my wrists and removing the needle from my hand. "No Harper, let's not do this!" She said looking at the scratches on my wrists.
I thought I was better, I thought I stopped. Sometimes I'm so stupid, I don't think, I'm so careless. "I-I thought.. I thought I-I was better.." I said my voice trembling tears streaming down my face as Mom held me close.
"Harper, recovery is hard there's going to be relapses, and I'm proud of how you've been trying so hard this is not a set back from your recovery. You can start fresh, from now on your 1 day sober and 5 minutes self harm clean, I'm proud of you keep it up" She said hugging me closely. She was right I was a day sober even if it felt like I wasn't making any progress, I was and it felt good.
Authors Note:
How will Amelia find out about Harper skipping school?
