The Journey To Happiness

Chapter 39

HARPERS POV:

The hospital decided to not make me stay a night in psych, but to see a therapist from LA who knows my Mom.

I was waiting on the therapist, Mom holding my hand as I was rather anxious about the therapy, my leg bounced, my hand shook.

"Harper, this therapist is really good I want you to try to communicate even if you write it down" Mom said holding my hand.
"Will you stay with me?" I asked.
"Of course I will sweetie" Mom said hugging me.

The therapist walked into the room with a soft smile.

"Hello Harper, I'm Dr Turner and hi Amelia" She said as she took a seat in front of me.

Mom smiled with her classic cheesy grin.
"Great to see you again Violet" Mom said still smiling.

"So Harper how are you feeling on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst" Dr Turner asked as she began to take notes.

I looked around bouncing my leg before showing her a 6 on my hands. She nodded
"Could you tell me why it's a 6 today, here is some paper if you feel like writing it or drawing it" She said handing me a paper and pen.

I began to draw a girl that was meant to be me I guess, she was fading away every piece of her as her hands covered her mouth, thoughts flying out everywhere from her head.

I passed the paper to Dr Turner and she took a long look at it. "Harper is this how you have been feeling?" She said pointing to my drawing.

It took a while for me to nod, the feeling of me fading away, disappearing became more present, I didn't feel real and the way I saw the world was terrifying everything seemed much too like a dream or a nightmare squashed into a tiny box.

"Harper would you say you have been feeling like you're fading away, disappearing? Maybe like the world or yourself doesn't feel real anymore" She as she basically said the words I wanted to come out my mouth.

I nodded, my body was shaky I felt weak and sick. I started to cry the tears rolled down my face quickly as I tried to control them. I placed my head on the table and covered my face with my hair, I didn't want to be seen, I just wanted to hide, to hide away from everything.

"Hey Harper it's okay to cry" Dr Turner said as I now felt her hand on my shoulder. I bolted up and curled my knees into my stomach and held them with my arms closely.

"I felt fine one day, then woke up the next and suddenly everything didn't feel so real anymore, and with the whole Kathy thing and her minions I just keep doubting myself" I blurted out with tears pouring down my face with every word I said more tears escaped.

After a conversation on Kathy and how I have been feeling, Dr Turner described it as derealistation, it sounded scary but she was going to give me some methods and Mom some methods to help me.
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"Okay Harper, I also want to refer you to an educational psychologist for your Autism, ADHD and dyscalculia so you can get support with that, but I'm think we do some exercises" She said handing me some sheets of tasks.

"I would like you to write down your values, what you care about the most" She said pointing to a sheet.

I slowly wrote down my values, thinking about everything I valued and it was important enough to write down, I made sure to form my letters clearly teachers at school tend to say my handwriting needs a lot of work, which puts me down a lot.

I finished up the writing reading over what I had written, I added on a few more values before finishing.

"Harper great, could you maybe read out what you have written?" Dr Turner said.