My Professor

37. Space

A week later I was on Theodore's doorstep, unannounced. I knocked, confident that he'd be home. It had become a routine for us. I waited giddily while I waited for him to answer the door.

After a moment, Theodore answered the door, though he didn't appear to be his usual light-hearted self.

"Indy," he said. "Come in."

"If this is a bad time I can leave," I said as I entered the apartment. He closed the door and turned to look at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm currently under investigation for having an inappropriate relationship with a student," he said flatly.

"What?"

"That being said, I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be here right now."

"Oh, god." My cheeks burned. "How did they—? How?"

"It's unclear," he said. "I have a meeting with the administration tomorrow. I'm not very optimistic about it."

"Oh, my god, Theo. I'm so sorry," I said. "That's—" I had no idea what else to say. I never thought it would come to this.

"I'll sort it out," he said. "In the meantime, I think we should spend some time apart."

"Oh."

"It won't look good if we're seen together in any capacity."

"Right." I was speechless. Suddenly there felt like a gulf between us and there was nothing I could do to fix it. In fact, the only thing I could do was leave. He was kicking me to the curb.

"Just for now, Indy. While I sort it out."

"It's okay. I understand." I did, but my heart was breaking as we spoke. He said it was just for now but I could feel the damage the whole ordeal was doing to our relationship. Nonetheless, all I could do is respect his wishes and leave him alone.

I returned to the door. "Well. Bye," I said, unsure of what else to say.

"Goodbye, Indigo."

I let myself out.

* * *

On the way back to my apartment, I felt utterly lost. I felt untethered, like I'd just lost my anchor. Theodore had become my rock and now suddenly he was out of reach.

Under investigation. Someone had reported us. I thought of Huey. I didn't want to believe it but he was the only one who knew. But why? Things had been going so well between us - or so I thought. Could he have been more upset about my rejection than I thought? Was this a way for him to take a shot at his competition?

I was furious as the thoughts mulled around in my head. I didn't have much time to think about it, though. When I got back to my apartment, I realized I had a larger problem to address myself.

Once inside, I went straight to my bedroom and closed the door. I pulled out my iPad and checked my school email. I had a hunch and unfortunately I was correct. A heavy pit formed in my stomach as I read the most recent email in my inbox.

It was my guidance counselor; she was requesting my attendance at a meeting with her the following afternoon. She vaguely mentioned allegations we needed to discuss. It was easy to deduce what she was referring to.

I sent a short response, agreeing to be there - what choice did I have? I shut my iPad off and tossed it aside on my bed. I was so screwed. My mind swam. I wondered how much they knew, and how exactly they'd found out.

I wanted nothing more than to call Theodore and vent, but he'd set a clear boundary. He didn't want anything to do with me while this investigation was going on. And who knew how he'd feel about me after the fact? I hoped he would still want me, but things felt so off back at his apartment.

My heart ached as I thought about me. It killed me to think that he didn't want me anymore. He'd warned me, though. What we were doing was wrong. Still, here we were.

The jig was up.