Crow Forest

Chapter Forty Two

Parker was lying on her bed, gazing up at the ceiling. It had been a few days since everything had happened, but she refused to get out of bed. Robyn had come in a few times to open the massive curtains to allow the sunshine to spill in and closed them at the end of the day. He had also brought food, but Parker wasn't hungry.

She wasn't really in the mood to cry, either. She felt drained and emotionless. Exhausted from life and all its troubles, she wondered why she even bothered.

What was this new feeling? A feeling of tiredness and an endless source of darkness. A strange sound started to ring out from outside. Parker slowly sat up for the first time in eons, intrigued by the peculiar noise. Her head was throbbing, and her eyes felt like they were going dark. She slipped her warm feet onto the icy wooden floor, which had barely warmed up from the sun. She quietly and slowly moved over to the full-length window and gazed at the front yard to see Robyn mowing the lawn. That was a first. She hadn't seen him use modern technology before.

It didn't matter. Parker slipped her hand onto the curtains and threw them over the window to block the light from entering the room. She preferred the dark. It was easier to sulk in. The room now was as cold and dark as her heart felt. Parker bent down as she approached her bed and picked up a pillow that had fallen onto the floor. She clutched it in a hug and glumly stood still for a minute.

She flopped down, letting her entire body sink into the soft mattress of the bed. She wanted this horrible feeling to go away. Parker let out a long and dreary sigh as she turned her body to the side. She let her eyes rest on the mono colour wall. She felt a little at peace with the darkness and wished for the world to be set right again. Parker felt at war with herself. She didn't know what was right and what was wrong anymore.

She didn't know what or how to feel. Everything was so broken, and she wished she could fix it. She breathed in the air. The room didn't have a new smell or an old one. The dusty smell would flood the house on a beautiful summer day. A comforting smell that would hold people in its embrace. If only the world were a better place full of good people who didn't get angry at you for no reason. People would treat each other with kindness and compassion and help each other when they got sick and needed aid.

In that type of world, there would be no hate. People wouldn't see a difference in each other. They'd all love, treat each other with kindness and compassion. To deny the world as it would be ignorant was something Parker was not. Parker was young, this was true, but she knew how harsh and cruel the world was. She knew people were hurting like her. She knew there was evil that existed only there to cause mayhem and misery. She knew some kind souls tried their best to help the broken.

It could never cancel out the bad, even with the kind people in the world. Good people's efforts seemed to be wasted when they tried to do their best. Why even try when the bad always comes back? Parker reached her hand out. She gazed at the wall in front of her. It was amazing to think this was all real. If this was the real world, why did it all feel fake? Why did her life feel like dirty glass instead of a clean window?

Parker curled up, scrunching her body up into a ball. She didn't feel so good right now. Perhaps she could curl up and vanish from the world for a little while. She didn't care for how long. Just as long as she could disappear. Parker clutched the pillow tighter to her chest. She closed her eyes and buried her face deep within the cushioning. She let the world disappear for a few minutes, and the feelings of despair run away from her body.