The Ideas of Love

Chapter 25.

"Jeff, I need you to stop crying." Tyler holds his best friend tightly.
It has been a week since Joe went into a coma, and Bill still insists that Jeff could not see Joe. Jeff was still upset and cried almost all the time. He barely goes out of bed. Tyler knew that Jeff loves Joe so much, but it doesn't change anything when he just cries every day.
"I just want to see my fiance." He sobbed. He knew that Tyler had had enough of his crying, but Jeff still wanted to see Joe.
They both know that there's nothing they can do besides wait for Joe to come out of the coma. Tyler let Chris stay close to Joe and informed them if there were any changes. He paid Chris' salary from his pocket since he put him on leave of absence in the office. But Chris had been cold to Tyler in general. Rene told Tyler about him and Chris being in a relationship, and Tyler kept himself busy for the possibility that Jeff would finally be with him. Tyler knew he's selfish for thinking of that, but he just couldn't help it. Every day Jeff fell asleep next to him, and there's a lot of times that they knew the sexual tension was there.
It's almost midnight when Tyler's phone rings. It's from Myla, so he picked it up. Myla was waiting outside the apartment. Tyler gently slipped out of the bed and let Myla in. They say it quietly in the living room for a few moments. It's hard for Myla to explain why she's there, and Tyler was too scared to ask.
"I'm pregnant.." Myla finally spoke up.
"Oh.." Tyler tried to remember when the last time they had sex was.
"It's not yours." Myla knew she had to clarify. "It's Joe's. We had to do it in front of Lewis because he doesn't trust me." She sighed.
"Myla, would you be willing to marry me? I can take care of the  baby." Tyler grabbed Myla's hand.
Myla's laughter exploded. "No. That would be horrible!"
"Why are you telling me then?" Tyler asked.
"I don't know. I just need to tell someone about  this. Myla started to sob.
"Myla, I'm so sorry." Tyler offered his hugs, and she laid on Tyler's chest.
Jill, who is in her second trimester, suddenly popped out of the bedroom. She got curious after overhearing about babies and pregnancy. Jill wants to know if Tyler actually gets someone else pregnant. She should never assume that Tyler only dates her because they were never exclusive anyway. She pretends to have grabbed some drinks. Tyler had to awkwardly push Myla away and introduce her to Jill.
The funny thing for Tyler is that now two women that he slept with lately were pregnant, and none of them were his. He wants to just abandon these women, but he doesn't have the heart for it. And of course, to complicate everything, Jeff came out of his bedroom too. Myla hugged Jeff and spilled everything to him. She asked Jeff to forgive her and Joe.
"I can't forgive you or Joe because you did nothing wrong." Jeff stopped. There's a sadness in his eyes. "Joe broke up with me before he went undercover. I told him to choose me or take the undercover job a few hours before he left, and he said that we were  over." Jeff smiled bitterly. "I'm sorry I lied to you, Ty. I'm ashamed of myself."
There's an awkward silence after that. Tyler knew he had to be the one who resolved this weird conversation. "Look, can we just sleep it off? Please stay here for a night, Myla. I promise you, we will sort this out." He kissed Myla's forehead gently.
They all nodded. Myla stayed in the master bedroom with Jeff while Tyler slept on the couch. Tyler's hope of winning Jeff just got better after hearing that Joe broke up with Jeff months ago.
_________________________________________
 
It took Joe three weeks to finally come out of the coma. Jeff had decided to forget about fixing his relationship with Joe. Joe had to plead with his father to see Jeff one last time. Bill finally gave up two days after Joe woke up. Joe knew that Jeff would probably be with someone else now; he was the one that broke the engagement off. But he wants to see Jeff one last time, and maybe Jeff could forgive him.
Jeff sat quietly next to Joe in the VIP room. It was awkward when it finally happened. Jeff stayed faithful to Joe even though Tyler begged him to date him. He should rephrase that because he and Joe broke up months ago.
"Jeff, I missed you." Joe weakly rubbed Jeff's palm.
"I don't know what to feel, Joe." Jeff shook his head.
Joe noticed that Jeff still wore the ring. "You still wore the ring."
"You dump me." Jeff doesn't want to start a fight, but he is still upset with the breakup.
"I'm having a kid. I want you to be the baby's father  too." Joe smiled bitterly.
Jeff wanted to say yes and just live his happy life with the baby and Joe. But he knew that Tyler would be miserable if he did that. He started to regret his choice; he knew that every day it's hard for Tyler to smile because everyone around him just uses him as a cash dispenser. He promised Tyler that if Joe woke up from the coma, he wanted to break up with Joe again before committing himself to Tyler. Tyler agreed on that term, so he should do the right thing, which is break it off with Joe.
"Joe, you dump me. You didn't even say you were sorry for that. Now you talk like it never happened. You broke my heart, and I am with someone else now." Jeff tried to avoid eye contact because Joe might know he was lying.
Joe opens his mouth, but he hesitates. He had a feeling that Jeff had finally given up and would date Tyler again. But to be fair, he was the one who broke off the engagement.
"Is that all you want to say to me?" Jeff asked. He stood up because he couldn't believe that Joe didn't even want to say he was sorry about the breakup.
"You are back with Tyler; that's why you act like this." Joe clenched his jaws.
Jeff's pupils widen; he can't believe what he just heard. How dare Joe accuse him like that and be angry with the idea of him dating Tyler again when Joe was the one who broke it off? "Bye." Jeff felt like he was about to burst into tears, so he ran out of the room. He promised himself that he would give Tyler a chance this time.
______________________________________
 
Tyler pressed his naked chest towards Jeff's body. He had been waiting for this since the last time they had sex, which was the most magical night that Tyler ever experienced. But when he looked at Jeff, he pulled himself away. Jeff's mind seemed to drift somewhere, and there was sadness in his eyes. Tyler hesitated to do anything with Jeff, even though Jeff had already consented to it.
"Why are you pulling away?" Jeff asked. "I told you I wanted this." He turned his body and wrapped his arms around Tyler. He just wants to numb his heartbreak.
"I don't want to be your rebound sex, and to be honest, I would rather wait until you are ready to move on." Tyler closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Why is he sabotaging his chance to have sex with Jeff? He doesn't know why, but it seems like the best decision for him at the moment.
Jeff's mind wonders again. His family had a hard time accepting his sudden engagement with Joe, and he tried so hard to convince them. Now that it's over, he just runs to the only person he usually runs to in the last few decades, but this time there's a lot more at stake. Because this time Tyler is out and proud, Jeff is scared that he will wreck the relationship again with his insecurities. Besides, Tyler was right; he can't make Tyler his rebound sex.
"Jeff.. Do you still want to be with Joe? He will have a baby with Myla. Isn't that everything that you want?" Tyler sighed. He would rather see Jeff run to Joe now than further down the road.
"You are everything that I want. I just.." Jeff stopped.
"You don't need to explain it again; you explained it to me before. And all I can say is that if you are not ready, I will wait until you are." He gently kissed Jeff's forehead.
Jeff rubbed his eyes; they're teary now. "I feel like I'm such a horrible person." He snuggled Tyler.
But their sweet moment didn't last long. Suddenly, Jill barged into the master bedroom; she was drenched in sweat, and there's some blood on her. "Tyler, I need a lawyer." She sobbed after that.
Tyler jumped out of bed and grabbed his robe and phone. He quickly escorted Jill to his car and drove her to the hospital after that. The blood was not Jill's; it was Oliver's. Someone shot Oliver's leg and took him away from his clinic. Jill doesn't really need a lawyer, but she needs Tyler. The police kept Jill at the hospital for the night. Tyler insisted on staying overnight next to Jill. The police had no idea who took Oliver and why. It seemed like whoever took him was a professional because they used an unmarked vehicle and were very good at avoiding the CCTV.
The police said there's not much they can do for now, and the hospital released Jill in the morning. Jeff welcomed them back with tons of worries on his face. Jeff never had a deep feeling for Oliver, but this is something big. They could have already killed Oliver.
Jeff was almost tempted to call Joe, but he realizes that he burned that bridge. Tyler called Myla instead, and she promised to visit Tyler and Jill that evening. Tyler managed to work from home that day just so he could make sure no one touched Jeff or Jill after what happened.
Jeff curled up next to Tyler all day like a puppy. He's worried about Tyler because he knows Tyler will do whatever it takes to get Oliver back to Jill. Jeff knew Tyler for decades. Tyler might always have pictured himself as the playboy who doesn't care about anyone, but that is not who he is. Jeff knew that Tyler can be overly stupid when it comes to helping people.
Tyler didn't talk much to Jeff because of what Jeff did last night. He knew he shouldn't feel wounded, but he did. There's nothing wrong with Jeff jumping from one relationship to another. Especially when his last one was the one in which he almost got married to someone. Jeff almost got everything he dreamed of all these years. A rich, smart, and handsome man would take care of Jeff, and Myla would give them the cutest little baby that they could raise.
There's occasional talk between them, but it's more casual. Jeff's brains were busy thinking about Oliver's kidnapping, and Tyler's brains were busy thinking about Jeff's rejection. Jeff did his part to just stick next to Tyler all day. There's an eventual text message from Joe that Jeff ignored, but other than that, the day was pretty much eventless.
After working for almost ten hours, minus a short lunch break, Tyler finally sat next to Jeff. He needs to talk to Jeff. He still doesn't know how Jeff feels about the kidnapping. And how Jeff feels about Joe now. Tyler did notice that Jeff had been ignoring Joe's text all day.
"So, how's Joe?" Tyler finally started the conversation.
"I don't know, and I don't care." Jeff shrugged and rolled his eyes like a teenager.
"You can't avoid Joe forever, and I bet he is still in love with you. I don't mind sharing you with him, to be honest." Tyler lied. If it's someone else than Jeff, he doesn't care if the guys or girls were with someone else. He just needs them to be careful of STDs. But Jeff is special for Tyler.
"No, you are not. I have known you for decades." Jeff shook his head.
"Jeff.." Tyler sighed. He should not have lied to Jeff; of course, Jeff knew that Tyler would never let him be with someone else. But Tyler wants to be fair. What if he fell in love with someone else? He doesn't want to put Jeff in that position where only he can be with someone else.
"Can we not talk about Joe? He broke up with me, and his dad doesn't want me. So, can we move on?" Jeff shook his head again.
"Do you want to grab some dinner then?" Tyler slipped his arms around Jeff. He knew Jeff didn't want to talk about it, so he should drop the conversation.
"I don't feel like eating. But I don't mind having sex with  you." Jeff forced a smile. He felt bad for ruining the mood yesterday.
Tyler kissed Jeff's lips and shook his head. "I want to get this right this time. I am not going to rush this. I will wait for however long you want." Tyler sneaked a kiss on Jeff's neck, but he held himself back. Sure, Tyler wants to have sex with Jeff, but he really wants Jeff to be comfortable with the relationship before they do anything.
There's a soft knock on the bedroom door, so Tyler slipped himself out of bed and opened the door. Shockingly, it was Myla who stood on the other side of the door. Tyler expected it to be Jill.
"Hey..." Tyler felt a little awkward because he is with Jeff now. He was scared that Myla would go back to hating him.
"I talked to Jill; now let's talk." Myla didn't waste any time jumping straight to her job.
"Can I leave Jeff out of this?" Tyler bites his lower lips. He tilted his head towards Jeff, and he saw Jeff take a deep breath. He knew deep inside that Jeff didn't want anything to do with Oliver anymore. He knew that Jeff had his mind full of Joe.
"Sure.." Myla led Tyler towards the study room. She still felt awkward near Jeff. She felt that she was the one at fault for their breakup. Joe explained everything, but she knew that deep inside, Joe just tried to keep Jeff safe. Then her pregnancy happened, and now Joe wants to drop everything just to be a father. She's happy that Joe is willing to do that, but she doesn't even know if she wants to keep the baby.
Tyler let her sit on the couch while he sat across from her on the chair. He realized that Myla was a little uncomfortable. "Are you okay?" Tyler checked on her.
"I'm fine.." She stopped. "I'm just tired; you know pregnancy is not fun." She rolled her eyes.
"So you are keeping the baby?" Tyler offered his hand.
"I don't know. Let's just talk about Oliver." She ignored Tyler's hand and opened up her phone. She pulled out the files from her encrypted phone for Oliver's case. "Apparently Oliver had some money owed to a shady character, and we have reason to believe that they were connected to a cartel in Texas." She took a deep breath. "And those cartels were connected to our dearest homophobic, Lewis. I stayed at their compound for a few weeks with Joe."
"Myla, you should not get involved with this kind of case." Tyler was really concerned when he knew that this had to do with Teddy Lewis and the people who hid Teddy Lewis.
"The FBI recruited me to do this case. It will be a huge promotion." Myla smiled bitterly. She didn't want to take the job, but she needed the raise if she wanted to have a baby.
"And Joe too, right?" Tyler shook his head. He knew that Jeff would be involved with this stupid crime gang again now that they knew about Joe.
"I need to tell you what happened to us, but you need to keep this a secret." Myla's tone changed to be more serious.
"I'm a lawyer; I know that you can put me in jail. So, yeah, I will keep the secret." Tyler smiled.
"I'm not.." Myla rolled her eyes, but then her face turned serious again. "Our cover wasn't blown. So they expect us to go back."
"What? No. Myla Are you crazy? You are pregnant! And how did you and Joe get shot then?" Tyler shook his head.
"Lewis did some stupid thing, and Keller, the cartel boss, took him out. He shot us accidentally before Keller finally took him out. Reed has taken control of the operation now. Reed took us to the hospital, and he didn't know that Bill took us back to New York. I need to go back to Texas by next week." Myla sighed.
"Myla, just stop, okay? I don't like the idea of you and Joe going back there. If you need money, I have it. Just please stay here."Tyler moved next to Myla and hugged her. "Please?"
"I'm not taking your money to raise my baby with Joe. Joe could have all the money in the world if he said to his dad that he had a baby with me. But he's still in love with Chris or Jeff. I don't know why you gay guys keep exchanging partners." She rolled her eyes.
"Myla, can I be selfish and keep Jeff for myself? I love him so much." Tyler knew it was not up to Myla to decide that.
"You have to sort that out with Chris, Jeff, and Joe. I'm not going to meddle with that. But I will consider your opinion about staying here. I want to have the baby." She stopped. "Maybe. But I'm not young anymore, and having one with Joe was not a horrible alternative." She chuckled.
"Look, just call me when you need anything, okay? I will take care of you in a heartbeat. Don't worry about money, please." Tyler gently rubbed Myla's back.
"Jeff was right; you are a wonderful man, and I'm grateful that I know you. I'm sorry, I was such a jerk with you at first." She nudged Tyler.
"I'm not that great. But I really tried my best. I just don't know why people avoid me like a plague sometimes." There's a sadness in Tyler's tone.
"Because they are selfish. And you are too nice." Myla hugged Tyler. "Look, I need to see Joe and talk with him. Unfortunately for Oliver, I'm afraid that you need to assume he's dead by now. You have to handle his stuff with Jill. I don't think Oliver would get out free without someone paying a bunch of money to the drug cartel." She shook her head.
"What if I paid for it?" Tyler clenched his jaw. He doesn't know why he promised that, but he doesn't like the idea of Jill being sad about losing Oliver.
"Please don't do that. And just don't do anything stupid for now. We don't even know if he's still alive. Reed has his name on the list too." Myla kissed the top of Tyler's head. She smiled, then left.