The Ideas of Love

Chapter 17.

Jeff knew he had hurt Tyler by breaking up with him, and he then got engaged not long after. He was aware that he had hurt his best friend, and he was now exploiting him for financial gain. Jeff is embarrassed by himself, but he is having difficulty finding a new job that suits him. He no longer trusts himself to go out there. He promised Cheryl that he would talk to her again, but he backed down and simply hid. The fact that his life is in shambles while Tyler excels at everything is further evidence that he should not be with this man.Tyler has even found a new girlfriend who is a nurse and will provide him with an instant family. On the other hand, Jeff is worried and lonely because his fiance is going undercover for a few months.
Logan crept up behind Jeff without warning. "Jeff, are you all right?"
Jeff jumped slightly. "I'm fine," he says.
"What are you thinking?" Logan shoved Jeff against the kitchen counter. Logan believes Jeff is sometimes unaware of his own attractiveness.
Jeff encircled Logan and rested his face on his shoulder. "I was missing Joe."
"Joe had told me to look after you. Sexually, too." Logan drew back so he could gaze at the handsome man.
"I don't believe he wants that." Jeff laughed.
"That's what he wants, Jeff. I'm not Tyler. I will not deceive you. Joe is aware of your needs and has told me to help you with them. He also stated that he would rather have me do it than Tyler." Logan laughed.
"You've never even been with a man." Jeff gently kissed Logan's cheek.
"I have previously been with a man. Sexually, at least." Logan inhaled deeply. "I was in jail before, remember?"
Jeff drew back. "Are they pressuring you? Tyler will make his life miserable if you tell him who did that to you." Jeff was clearly enraged by the prospect of Logan having previously been raped.
"That's not the case, Jeff. I may not fully desire it, but I agree to it. And it was in my best interests to do so for my own safety." Logan smiled as he kissed Jeff on the lips. "You are a fantastic man. But, I am stronger than you think. I will protect you even if it means sacrificing my life."
Jeff's head shook. "That isn't right."
"Jeff, there's a lot wrong with the world." Logan gave a bitter smile. "But I'm here because of you. Because of you, I'm in a great place. And I'm grateful for it."
"You mean, because of Tyler?" Logan's cheek was rubbed as Jeff sighed. "I'm a horrible friend to Tyler.." His shoulders sagged. "I'm not sure how I never made him tell me what was causing his nightmares. He just told me that it's because of the bullying he experienced in high school."
"Tyler had no idea he was being raped until you two broke up. You couldn't possibly have known." Logan massaged Jeff's arms.
Jeff drew Logan in closer. "How come you're so hot?" He laughed.
"Me? You require new glasses." Logan gave a sly grin. He removed his shirt, exposing his tanned, muscular body. Logan had a few tattoos on his body, which made him more appealing.
"I feel bad.. but I really want to do something intimate with you.." Jeff pouted.
"I told you that Joe doesn't mind. I think he told you too.." Logan smiled.
"He did tell me that I would get a hall pass. But it still feels wrong." Jeff is still pouting. He got too horny while his fiance was working hard and risking his life. He felt like he was a horrible human being.
"You can rest up, jerk off, or whatever you need. I'll be here preparing lunch. I don't want to force you to do something that you would regret." Logan smiled.
"I'm sorry.." Jeff sighed. He kissed Logan's cheeks, and he walked to the bedroom. He did jerk off, and all he could imagine in his mind was Tyler.
They invited Myla for dinner that night because Tyler said that he wouldn't be home for dinner and Logan had already made food for three people. Myla happily accepted it because she rarely ever ate home-cooked meals. She's bored with her microwaveable TV dinner anyway.
"Where's Tyler?" Myla inserted herself next to Jeff and Logan at the dining table. "You two haven't done any hanky-panky, right?" She raised her eyebrows like a concerned parent.
"Tyler was working late, and he said he would see Jill tonight. So he's probably going to stay the night at her place. We took his bedroom anyway." Jeff sighed
"We haven't done anything, yet.." Logan winked at Myla.
"Yet? That's not convincing at all. You better not do anything that would hurt Joe's feelings or I will smack you.." Myla stared at the two men. She knew that Joe gave Jeff a hall pass, but she really expected that Jeff would not use it, especially with Tyler.
"I tried not to do anything, but I can't promise you. I loved Joe, but I also missed him so much. And with so many temptations.." Jeff sighed.
"Really? You gay guys are such horny bastard.." Myla shook her head. She knew Joe had an open relationship before too, and she just couldn't understand that.
"Myla, I miss him. Do you hear anything from him?" Jeff pouted.
"I actually did today. He told me to tell you not to fuck Tyler." She grinned. Of course she lied, but she would have assumed that's what Joe would say anyway.
"I'm not going to have sex with him. Did Joe really say that?" Jeff raised his eyebrows. 
"No, but he said he's fine and he missed you. He met with his handler today." Myla pulled out a piece of paper that had been torn from some diner placemats and gave it to Jeff.
Joe wrote that he's fine and he loves Jeff. Jeff almost burst into tears when he saw that. He wanted to hug Joe so badly. "Do you know when he will be back?"
"No idea. But his handler said that Joe found Teddy Lewis and his gang. He managed to convince them that he's not a cop. They did beat him up a little." Myla sighed. "I just wished they would let me in too. Joe said that he would try to pull me in by saying I was his fiance. But I think he is still trying to focus on winning their trust again."
"I wish I could help you and Joe.." Jeff pouted.
"Actually.." Myla remembered that Jeff is pretty great at tech stuff and they do need some consultants to help their IT team that was overwhelmed by the number of cases they needed to handle. "Are you interested in doing IT forensics? I can ask if you can be a consultant for them. It might not pay that well, but it's a job.."
"Oh.. sure!" Jeff finally smiled for once. At least he can help with rent and stuff if he works again.
"Okay, I will talk to the Captain tomorrow.." Myla slapped Jeff's back then laughed.
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