The Ideas of Love

Chapter 22.

Jill paced around her bedroom and bit her nails. Tyler is talking to Oliver to negotiate Jill's rights for Jay and the new baby. She had to tell Tyler about Jay, but she had no one else to give her legal advice that she trusted. Jay was at his grandmother's house, so Jill had the house for herself and decided that it was the right time to bring Tyler and Oliver there. She could hear Oliver raise his voice often, but Tyler kept himself calm, maybe because he had nothing to lose. Tyler told Jill to wait in the bedroom until he's done laying the ground rules. There's a soft knock that made Jill jump. Tyler peeked at his former lover and called her out.
The last thing Tyler wants is to become Jill's and Oliver's mediator. But he had to do it because he loves Jay. He and Jay develop some attachment, but of course Tyler was devastated when Jill told him that Jay was Oliver's too. Jill told Tyler that she might grant Oliver visitation rights, but she was still unsure about it. Tyler spent the past half an hour explaining the mediation process to Oliver, which he was yelling at the whole time. He gets that Oliver is upset that Jill is not giving him the chance. But he also left Jill to take care of Jay all these years. He has no right to demand anything from Jill in regards to Jay or the unborn baby.
"So, Oliver had agreed that you would never be fired for having kids with him, and he had agreed that he would keep the secret about him being Jay's father. But he does not want to give up the baby, and he is willing to pay child support for the baby and Jay." Tyler pulled the chair so Jill could sit. He then sat next to her.
"I want to be with you. Did he agree on that too?" Jill stared at Tyler.
"I would never agree on such nonsense!" Oliver clenched his jaws.
"You should be with Oliver, not me." Tyler smiled bitterly.
"Why not?" Jill shook her head. It's obvious that Tyler doesn't want to be caught in the web of infidelity she committed with Oliver.
"Because..." Tyler hesitated for a moment. "I'm in love with Jeff. And I know I can't have him, but I can't promise you my love for you at the moment." He lied. He loves Chris too, and at the moment, his relationship with Chris is finally getting better. He finally had hope that Chris would stick with him forever this time.
"Why are you even bringing up Jeff?!" Oliver raised his tones again.
"He is my best friend, so back out of it. He doesn't want you, and you were bitter about it. But he rejected me to choose you, and then you abandoned him like you abandoned Jill. So don't lecture me about  relationships."Tyler replied in a calm manner because he knew it would piss Oliver off more.
"Fine, just get it in writing, and please leave, Oliver. I want to talk to Tyler." Jill sighed.
"Jill.." Oliver's temper dropped, knowing how he hurt Jill by getting so jealous of Tyler's relationship with Jeff.
"Please leave.." Jill pushed her chair away and slipped out of the chair. She pulled Tyler's wrist and dragged him to the bedroom.
Tyler awkwardly follows her, but he promises himself he will not cheat on Chris. Jill locked the door and sat with Tyler on the bench that Tyler bought for her. Tyler had given her a few pieces of furniture to help her with her pregnancy.
"Tyler," Jill whispered. "Why don't you want to be with me? Tell me the truth."
Tyler sighed. "I'm trying to get Chris back, and this time I am not going to ruin it. I love Chris, and if I ask him to be with you too, it will ruin my relationship with him." He knew that Jill would keep digging if he didn't tell the truth.
"Did you talk to Oliver about moving me and Jay to your apartment?" She realizes that he didn't mention it.
"No, but I told him I would pay for an apartment in NY for you and Jay. He agreed with it. I will put it all in writing and send it to you before he signs. Just let me know what else I can add. I need to go, Jill. I am looking forward to you and Jay moving in with me and Chris." Tyler stood up.
"Tyler, wait.." Jill pulled Tyler closer. She finally cried. "Can't you choose me instead?" She sobbed.
"I'll be there for you, but I choose Chris. He has always been there for me. You abandoned me so many times before. I'll take good care of you, Jay, and the baby. I'm sorry.." Tyler holds Jill tightly. He rubbed her back gently. "Now please get some rest. You and Jay will be moving in with us soon. Just get everything ready. I promise I will take good care of you. Okay?" Tyler kissed Jill's head.
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"Well, I don't know where I can put you, Jeff. Jill and Jay will be here next week." Tyler shrugged.
"Well, she will stay in the same room as Jay, right? Please.. Joe asked me to stay safe with you. He's worried." Jeff bites his lips.
"Just let him stay and bunk Jill with Jay. We'll be one big happy dysfunctional family!" Chris slapped Tyler's back.
Tyler rolled his eyes and shook his head, but he then pulled the younger man closer and kissed him. "And what if I want to sleep with Jill or Jeff, huh?" Tyler grabbed Chris' hips and pulled him closer to his crotch.
"As long as I can see it. I'm fine with it." Chris giggled.
"You want to see me having sex with other people? And with a woman?" Tyler raised his eyebrows.
"Well, I brought Dawn here before. You are the one who says no." Chris rolled his eyeballs too.
"Oh, well, we were..." Tyler wants to say that they were not technically together back then, but he is not quite sure he is together with Chris now. "Chris, I only want you, my love." He gave Chris a gentle smile, tucked Chris' hair, and kissed his cheek.
"We know you can love more than one person at the same time; you don't need to hide that." Chris smiled at Tyler.
"I'm not.. I promise you I will be faithful to you, and I will do that. Okay?" Tyler smiled.
"Why didn't you promise the same thing to me?" Apparently, that made Jeff tick off.
"Because I did, and you still chose Oliver." Tyler suddenly pushed Chris away. "You don't remember it? And then again, I told you about it again, but you just dumped me without explanation. I don't know what you want from me, Jeff." He stood up and tried to walk away because the conversation suddenly turned ridiculous. "If you want to stay here, take the couch. I don't care about your comfort anymore since you never care about my feelings. I'm going to get some fresh air. I'll be back in half an hour. I'm sorry,  Chris." Tyler smiled bitterly. He walked out of the apartment.
"Jeff, are you still in love with that man? Joe admitted to me that he was still in love with me a few days ago while he was drunk. He called me and begged me to come back to him. And I understand Tyler is polyamorous but tried to force himself to love you, but as you see, he can't." Chris suddenly turned serious.
"It doesn't matter if I love him, because I'm with Joe." Jeff avoided Chris' eyes.
"So you are still in love with him too. Look, why don't we talk about this with Joe? I don't mind being in an open relationship. And if it means less heartache, I am all for it." Chris pulled Jeff's wrist. "Jeff, don't you want to see Tyler happy?"
Jeff just sat quietly. Joe is still in love with Chris, and he is still in love with Tyler. Why do they keep pretending that they don't? He knew why, but Chris was actually offering a very good solution. But is this all worth it? Because if he does this, his relationship with Joe will be done for sure, and of course Tyler will dump him eventually. So he decided to keep pushing his feelings away.
"I'm going to go back to Wisconsin instead of waiting for Joe to come back. I sold my farm a couple weeks ago because I thought I would move in with Joe anyway. And since Joe will go undercover again, I'll just go back to my home. I was hoping that Tyler would be nice enough to let me stay, but he had changed." Jeff shook his head.
"Of course he changed! You left him after he had the most amazing sex he ever had! What do you think he would feel other than anger? Then you went on and got engaged with a man that you barely knew!" Chris raised his voice.
"I'm going to go." Jeff turned around and left Chris.
He went back to his apartment, which he shares with Joe. The apartment is only a few blocks away; he can walk for ten minutes to his place from Tyler's. Of course, because the apartment was paid for by Joe's father, he and Joe didn't want to use the apartment before Joe came back from his undercover mission. Joe was packing his stuff when Jeff arrived home.
"Joe, I'm not staying with Tyler; I'm going back to Wisconsin while waiting for you." Jeff said it right away as he came closer to Joe.
"Oh..." That's all that can come out of Joe's mouth. He should have said more, but it caught him off guard. He had a feeling that something happened during the talk with Tyler.
"Tyler threw a tantrum about how I was just heartless about his feelings. And Chris offered to have a foursome. I just can't deal with them." Jeff shook his head, then shrugged.
"I mean, you are pretty heartless to Tyler, and you know it." Joe hates to fight with Jeff, but he also felt annoyed that Jeff just rejected the foursome that he was very interested in without informing him first. So he decided to cold-heartedly call out Jeff.
"So you don't feel that you are heartless, huh? You drunk texted Chris about how much you are still in love with him when I am sleeping next to you." Jeff raised his eyebrows, and there's some anger inside him.
"I told you about that, and I said I was sorry. You and I both know we still have love for Tyler and Chris; don't pretend that we never had this conversation  before."Joe stood up, and he clenched his fist.
"Are you.." Jeff's face suddenly turned scared and sad. He saw that Joe was getting ready to punch him in the face. He pulled himself away from Joe.
"I'm not hitting you." Joe calmed himself down and then pulled Jeff closer. "I'm sorry.."
Jeff stood silently. Joe might never hurt him that way, and he knew it. But Jeff had been through hell before. One of his ex-boyfriend was abusive, and he punched Jeff a few times. It brings back bad memories for him.
"Jeff.. I'm not hitting you, I promise you. I never hit anyone that I dated." Joe stopped a little, because that was a lie. "I mean, without their consent." Joe bites his lower lips.
"You hit your partner before?" Jeff should not phrase it that way; he knew what Joe meant.
"Not in your ex's kind of situation. One of the men I briefly dated was into it. I never hit my partner that way, Jeff. I'm angry; that's why I clenched my fist, but it doesn't mean that I am about to hit you." Joe sighed.
"Do you enjoy being rough to your ex?" Jeff started to get curious.
"I do and I don't. I'm not sure. I just... I'm not going to do it without a long talk and full consent." Joe smiled bitterly.
"I just.." Jeff hesitated because he knew that Joe would never hurt him, but he felt like he needed to say it. "If you hurt me, I will leave you. You should know that."
"I know baby.." Joe pulled Jeff aside and kissed his lips. "Look, if you want to go to Wisconsin, then go. I'm sorry I instigated a fight with you. I'm leaving tomorrow, so I feel tense. I have no idea how to contact you in Wisconsin, and I'm just.." Joe sighed and closed his eyes.
"Myla can give me update me about you. Please don't worry about me." Jeff rubbed Joe's cheeks.
"She can't; I won't be able to get to contact anyone this time. Lewis is in a secured location, and I don't know where it would be. To be honest, this is probably the only time I felt this scared to go undercover." Joe's sad face tilted, and he moved it closer to Jeff's face. "I don't know if I will come out alive this time." He whispered.
"Joe.. Why didn't you tell me about this before? You could just say no." Jeff shook his head.
"I can't just back out. They hurt you and Logan before. I'm not going to give up just because I'm not a police officer anymore. They need to be in jail. Besides, the feds were the ones that assigned me to the case this time." Joe finally told Jeff why he couldn't possibly back out of this.
"Well, Tyler can help you. He hates me, but he would help you. Or I know Chris would help you too. Just don't go, please." Jeff buried his head on Joe's shoulder.
"I'll probably be fine. I love you, and please take care of yourself while I am not here." Joe pulled Jeff's face away and kissed his lips. He wasn't sure if he would be fine, but Jeff needs that reassurance. He would lie just to calm his loved one.
"Did you tell your dad about the undercover mission?" Jeff tried to pull every last string to get Joe to cancel the plan to go undercover again.
"Of course not." Joe took a deep breath. He knew why Jeff brought this up. "I'll be fine; let's go to sleep. I need to wake up early tomorrow." Joe kissed Jeff one last time that night. He kept lying just to give Jeff some peace.
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"Jax, where have you been?" Lewis raised his eyebrows. "We are coming close to spreading all these gay names to the public. No thanks to you!" Lewis gave a sinister laugh.
"Well, um, I got married to a girl." Joe tried his best not to sound disgusted towards Lewis. He showed Lewis and Reed his engagement ring to Jeff, which looked like a wedding band.
"Oh?" It piqued Lewis interest. "Can we see this nice woman of yours?" He raised his forehead a couple times to tease Joe.
Joe pulled out his work phone with tons of pictures of him and Myla. Myla is the best person he would tolerate pretending to be in love with because he really loves her. The love is not sexual, but he sincerely cares about her. Their fake wedding pictures look so convincing because Myla loves him too. He showed Reed and Lewis the pictures, and they both gave him a pat on the back. He is saying how lucky he is to have such a nice girl.
"You know, you should bring her around sometimes." Reed grinned. Reed felt like he had seen that woman before, but he couldn't really place it.
"I can bring her." Joe pretends to hesitate, but this is the moment that he and Myla need.
"Sure.. sure.. As long as she hates these gays as much as us," Lewis laughed.
"Well, she hates them; that's why we kind of connected in the first place. She's a good religious girl, and you will love her. Can I call her to tell the good news?" Joe asked.
"Yeah, do it here! I want to hear her  voice. Lewis grinned. He actually felt like the girl was his type. But he also thought that he knew that girl from somewhere.
Joe dialed Myla's numbers; it said Joanne on his screen because obviously she can't be Myla since Joe's ring said J&J. Myla picked it up, and she had the very convincing southern accent that Joe had ever heard. Joe felt like the two men do not truly believe him, and Joe is pretty certain that they both might have seen Myla on one of their arrests, but fortunately, Myla always dressed as a detective, so even if they can remember her, she's not in uniform, so she could deny all she wants: that she's a cop.
Myla agreed to come to their hidden base, but she would be blindfolded, so she could not tell anyone where it was. Myla arrived at the base late that night. She had to hide her disgust towards these men. She needed to be there for Joe.
Joe and Myla had to pretend to have sex while the two men outside were listening because they needed to convince Lewis and Reed that the marriage was real. They felt like a porn star trying to get convincing fake orgasm sounds without actually doing it. They laid next to each other naked after that, so they wouldn't get caught up in their lies. Myla knew that Joe would never get sexually attracted to her, so she kept herself close to him.
"I'm scared, J." Myla whispered.
"Me too. The person who gave the base is rich and powerful. I'm worried about..." Joe said it gently. He didn't mention Jeff's name just in case, and besides, Myla should have known who Joe was talking about.
"He'll be fine. Now, let's sleep. I am tired. Good night.." Myla gently kissed Joe's cheek, and then they both fell asleep.