The Ideas of Love

Chapter 21.

"Jill, could you come to my office?" Oliver asked the next morning.
Jill knew what would happen. Tyler was staying at her place last night and they had sex again. Tyler said that he broke up with Chris and no one really loves him anymore. Jill could not stand how these people were treating Tyler. They just dump Tyler out of their lives when things don't go their way. Jill wants Tyler to be happy, and she's willing to do anything for that. She knew that her love for Tyler was one-sided. That's why she had cut Tyler out of her life previously. But after these last few weeks, she realizes that Tyler is such a nice guy and she treated him so badly. She dragged herself to Oliver's office and sat there quietly.
"Um.. can we talk about it?" Oliver hesitantly started the conversation.
"You want the baby? I know.. " Jill sighed.
"I don't mind marrying you. You know that, right?" Oliver looked at Jill with a hopeful stare.
"I don't want to get married to anyone." She shook her head.
"I want to try to be a good father this time. I never did a good job with my kids." Oliver tried to reach Jill's hand, but she moved it away.
"It might be okay for you to do that, but people will look down on me. I don't want to keep the baby. Tyler wants it, but I don't, and we are dating now, so I need to consider his feelings." She lied, but that's probably the only thing that would change Oliver's mind.
"He's not going to stick around, and you know that." Oliver gave a stern look.
"And you'll fire me if I choose Tyler over you, right?" She took a deep breath.
"I'm not firing you. You are a great nurse practitioner. But I do prefer you stay for a little while at home to take care of our baby. Jill, come on. We talked about this like a million times. I got a divorce because I wanted to be with you. We had an affair, and I want to be Jay's father for real this time." Oliver's softened his tones. "I love you, Jill."
"You ran away when you knew I was having Jay. I'm not doing that again." She clenched her jaws. She had an affair with Oliver in his previous marriage because her husband was abusive. She had to lie to everyone about Jay, but the truth was, he was Oliver's child too. Of course, her husband finally figured it out and beat the hell out of her before he left her forever.
"I know, and now I am going to make it up to you. Okay? This time I'll marry you." Oliver finally grabbed Jill's hand.
"I don't want that.." Jill shook her head.
"I know we started this whole thing as an affair, but I am in love with you." Oliver stood up and kissed Jill's forehead. He squatted next to Jill. "Let me be Jay's and this baby's father." He gently kissed Jill's stomach.
"How do I know that you won't leave me again?" Jill stared at Oliver.
"I'll do whatever it takes.." Oliver smiled and hugged Jill. "We'll be a family."
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That weekend, Tyler was alone in his three-bedroom apartment. He was planning for a baby and a handsome boyfriend to be in his future a couple of days ago, and now he's back on his own. Joe and Jeff moved out last night because Joe got tired of Tyler trying to win Jeff back. Tyler never knew that Joe's father was a billionaire.
Chris still needs time to recover from Oliver's rejection and give up the baby. Chris was very apologetic towards Tyler because he knew this mess was not what Tyler wanted. He actually invited Tyler to hang out with him last night, but Tyler just wanted to mope alone.
It's nine thirty in the morning and Tyler is still rolling around on his way too big for a one-person bed. But suddenly, Chris barged in with a pretty girl on his arm. Chris still has the key to the apartment.
"Morning sunshine!" The giggling girl was pulled towards the bed by Chris, who told her to kiss Tyler.
"Chris!" Tyler blocked the kiss and covered his naked top with the blanket.
"What's wrong?" Chris can't understand why Tyler is mad at him.
"Who are you? And why are you here with Chris?" Tyler asked the young woman.
"Oh! I'm Chris's neighbor, Dawn! When he said he wanted a threesome with me and you, I said, Yes." Dawn giggled again.
"Chris.. come on.." Tyler sighed. "I'm not into this.."
"Really?" Chris raised his eyebrows.
"Fine, I'm not doing this with you because I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm sorry, Dawn.." Tyler smiled bitterly. He liked the idea of a threesome, but he knew that Chris was a full-pledged gay man. He doesn't want to put Chris in that awkward spot.
"Can you give me a moment to speak to Tyler for a moment, Dawn?" Chris smiled. Dawn nodded, and she left the bedroom. "Why not? It's just for fun. I'm not ready to jump back to dating you, but I also don't want you to be sad like this." He sighed.
"I'm fine, Chris. I'm not a baby." Tyler's heart flutters a little seeing Chris still cares about him.
"I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy." Chris moved closer and kissed Tyler's cheek.
"I'm tired, Chris. I did everything right, but I just still can't get what I want. I want to settle down and just be with one person for the rest of my life, like my parents and my siblings. They are happy." He felt that he was about to cry now. He wants the happiness that his family has. He had Jeff on his arm every day for the rest of his life, but he ruined it now. Jeff had moved on.
"Can you wait for me? I just want to have fun with you for once." Chris brushed his lips against Tyler's.
Tyler scoffed. "With Dawn and you, I surely will have fun,but you won't , so I can't do that."
"I had sex with women before.." Chris chuckled.
"I'm not doing that with you. I am not going to put you in that position." Tyler pulled Chris' collar and kissed him. "You are more than enough for me." Tyler whispered.
"I know, but.. I'm not ready to just be with you and I figured you liked women, so I brought Dawn.." Chris sounded upset. 
"Let's just go on a walk to the park or something, I just need you, Chris." Tyler pressed his lips to Chris'. He held him tightly and wished that Chris would never leave him.
"Fine, but you have to spoil me with things like fancy clothes and fancy dinners. I'm not cheap, you know.." Chris giggled. He appreciated how Tyler was still thinking about his feelings.
"Anything you want, my dear." Tyler felt happy that Chris wanted to try again with him.
Chris had to take Dawn back to his apartment, and he showed up half an hour later with a better outfit. Tyler hugged him and landed kisses all over him when he arrived. He said he missed Chris so badly. But Chris pushed him away and said that he's not ready for sex. So Tyler backed up and held his hand instead. Chris can see that Tyler still deeply loves him.
"Ty..." Chris could not handle breaking Tyler's heart again. Tyler had been through a lot, and the fact that he was only there as a friend is definitely not what Tyler expected.
"I know, I'm sorry.. I just felt so lonely.. I wish someone would love me for who I am.." Tyler knew exactly what Chris was about to say because he could sense Chris being uncomfortable with any affection that he gave him.
Chris stared at Tyler. He can't stand seeing Tyler hurt like this. Tyler had been nothing but nice to him since he started at the firm. "You know what? Screw my feelings, I can't see you hurt like this. I will be your boyfriend and I will love you. I will never leave you again. I want you to be happy." He leaned in and kissed Tyler.
"Chris, you can't do that.." Tyler holds Chris close, but he can't be that selfish. If Chris doesn't want this, he should never have forced him. He was raped before, and the last thing he wants to do is force Chris to do something that he doesn't want.
"You are not forcing me. I still love you, and it pains me to see you upset. I was thinking I needed time, but I changed my mind. Your happiness is important to me." Chris kissed Tyler's lips again. He pushed his boss to the wall and pinned him. He undid Tyler's button while his lips were glued to Tyler.
Tyler felt his dick getting excited, but he pushed away the younger man. "Would you mind staying a night here? I don't want to have sex with you, but I want to talk with you all night." He rubbed Chris' cheeks. He can feel some stubbles, and he likes playing with Chris' stubbles.
"I want to have sex with you.." Chris bites his lower lip.
"I can't do that right now. You are not ready for it, so we will wait. I don't need to have sex with my date every single time. I love you and having you next to me is more than enough.." Tyler hugged Chris and rested his head on Chris' shoulder.
"Fine.. do you still want to go out?" Chris pulled away.
"Only if you want to. If not, we can just order delivery." Tyler knew he still had his lust for Chris, but he couldn't do that to Chris. A man took pity on him and stayed with him. He can't take advantage of Chris, no matter how much he wants that younger man.
Chris fixed Tyler's shirt that he was about to take off a few moments ago and tapped Tyler's chest gently. "Let's go out. You need it.."
"Chris.." Tyler hesitates for a moment. "Thank you for this. I know this is just a pity date, but I need you..."
Chris chuckled. "No, you need Jeff, but he left you, so you replace him with me.." He winked.
"Why are you saying that? I told you that I love you.." There's a part of Tyler that's disappointed that he can't hide his real feelings from Chris. And then there's a part of him that also got wounded because Chris never really felt that he loved him.
"You came to me because Jeff rejected you twice now. That's one of the reasons that I still hesitate to get back to you. But I can't stand seeing you hurt, so I will do whatever it takes to make you happy." Chris smiled, and his eyes lit up like an excited puppy.
Tyler gave a gentle smile. Chris might be right on some of it, but he loves Chris too. Chris forgot that he's a polyamorous man. He thinks about telling Chris that for a bit, but he doesn't want to get into an unnecessary fight with Chris, so he holds back his words.
Chris is a smart man He figured that Tyler was going to say something. Then he felt so stupid after realizing it. Tyler is a polyamorous guy. He really fell in love with Chris and Jeff. So he's not actually replacing Jeff with Chris; he loves them both. It took Chris such a long time to realize that, and now he felt stupid for it. "Tyler.." He wants to say how sorry he is, but he struggled so badly because he just realized how much he hurt Tyler by thinking he'd just replaced Jeff.
"Can we just be happy for a day? I don't want to talk about sad things today. I want to enjoy it with you." Tyler grabbed Chris' hips and gently tickled him.
Chris' laugh explodes; he's a sensitive guy and he can't handle tickling. Tyler knew that and he only teased Chris a little, but it's enough to make Chris smile.
"Let's go out, I want to show the world that I have a handsome boy.." Tyler knew he slipped out. "I'm sorry.."
"I'm your boyfriend.." Chris smiled. He knew he wanted this relationship to last now.

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"Well, that is a shitty news.." Joe rubbed his temples after a long call with his old Captain.
"What is?" Jeff stared at Joe.
"The Captain needs me to go back to be Jax. He said that Lewis is getting closer to the powerful man who supports his so-called homophobic cult. It's a once in a lifetime chance to get this guy to jail. I'm just.." Joe sighed.
"You can ask Myla if it's good to do that. She would know better than I. Because if you ask me, I would say screw it, I would rather have you save with me here." Jeff rubbed Joe's back.
"I know.." Joe sighed again.
"Joe.." Jeff put his head on Joe's shoulder. "So do it. I know you want to do this. I will be here worrying about you all the time. But please don't hesitate to take it because of me." There is a sadness in Jeff's voice, but he kept himself close to Joe and rubbed him to comfort his lover.
They were planning to get married next week, against everyone in their family's wishes. They just want to get hitched and do a court wedding. Of course, Joe's dad was flooding Jeff with prenups and probably all the paperwork in the world to protect his wealth from Jeff. Jeff wished he could talk to Tyler about it because Joe said that Jeff should not sign any of those papers. But he wants to sign it. He really does not like the idea of Bill thinking that he's just with Joe because of his wealth.
"We should cancel our plan to get married because you need to get ready for your assignment. I'll be here waiting for you.." Jeff kissed Joe's neck gently.
Joe turned around and kissed Jeff's lips. "I'm just so in love with you, babe. I don't know how I got lucky enough to have you." He pushed Jeff onto the bed and then crawled on top of him.
"I'm the lucky one. You are amazing and I love you so much." Jeff's breath got faster and his dick was twitching. Joe's such a handsome man, and he's always so turned on by how handsome Joe is.
"Jeff.. you need to go back to stay with Tyler if I decide to go and do the job." Joe sighed. "And if you really want to get intimate with him, you could." Joe smiled bitterly.
"I don't want to think about it. I love you and I'm all yours." Jeff shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"You have your needs and.." Joe stopped because Jeff pressed his lips to his and interrupted his sentence.
"I don't want to hear that, okay? Jerking off is always an option." Jeff giggled.
"I know and I just want to say that you are free to see other men while I'm not around. I know Myla had previously pressed you not to cheat on me because it would hurt me.But when I give you my blessing to do so, you have to believe me that I am serious about it." Joe climbed down from Jeff and laid next to him. "You were about to break up with me when I did the undercover last time. And it's all because you pressured yourself to be faithful. If it costs me to lose you forever, I prefer you slept with someone else." Joe looks really upset.
"I was being stupid and you know it.."Jeff sighed. "I didn't want to leave you, but I felt like I betrayed you because all I kept thinking about was someone else."
"Because you are a man that likes to cuddle when you sleep. You are a man that needs to physically be next to your lover. That's why I said it again. You are allowed to do it with someone else." Joe smiled.
"Can we not talk about me cheating on you? I just don't like the idea.." Jeff bites his lower lip.
Joe stood up. He suddenly felt anger that he couldn't explain. Maybe the fact that Jeff's stubbornness almost cost him their relationship the last time he went undercover. Maybe it's because of the thoughts of Jeff sleeping with Tyler. He couldn't pin point it at the moment, but he felt that he was angry.
"Joe.." Jeff read the situation and knew he had to apologize. "I'm sorry.. come here please. I love you and I need you.." He reached for Joe's wrist and pulled him. But Joe pulled away.
"I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight.." Joe walked away, but Jeff chased him and hugged him from behind. "Jeff, please let me go.."
Jeff shook his head. "I can't. I love you. I won't let you go. I'm not leaving you or cheating on you. I'll be here for you all the time. You have no idea how much I love you." Jeff sobbed a little.
Joe shook his head. "Just give me space, please, or just leave me. I'm so tired of you pretending to be in love with me." He shoved Jeff, and Jeff lost his balance and fell.
"I'm not pretending.. Joe.. why are you like this to me?" Jeff cried on the floor.
"Oh, shut it. I'm tired of your crying.." Joe walked away. He realizes that he's angry because Jeff always tries to defend Tyler, but then he tries to pretend that he doesn't love Tyler at all. Joe knew it was a lie and made him wonder if Jeff really told the truth about his love for him.