Summer Nights -- Bojan Cvjetićanin

xvi

Florence's pov:

We just got back to the apartment, Bojan was filling the guys in on what's happening with my finger. I sat on my bed, my back resting against the headboard, when my phone started ringing. It was 1 in the morning, who would be calling me at this time? I picked up my phone, to see that Iris was facetiming me. 

I picked up the phone, to see her tired face. "Hi." She smiled when she saw my face, "You okay?" She asked. As I looked to my face in the small square, I realized my hair was a mess, and I still had small bits of mascara on my cheeks. "I have felt better." I smiled, showing her my finger. "What did you do? You know what, tell me later." She grinned. "Why did you call me?" I asked. 

Iris sighed. "Lily can't sleep, she won't listen to me either. She was screaming that she wanted to see you." I nodded. "That's okay. Give me to her." I grinned. Iris handed her phone to the little girl. Lily's brown hair was all messed up, her dark eyes were filled with rage. When she saw me, her expression turned a lot less angry. "Hey." I said, "What's the matter?" Tears welled up in her eyes. "I miss you. When I sleep I dream that you will never come back again." She said. I think I felt my heart break. 

"Oh, baby." I breathed. "I will come back, I promise. I'll be there in two weeks, remember?" In the top of my eye I saw Bojan leaning against the doorframe. "Will you sing for me?" She asked me very softly. I looked up at Bojan, who was raising his eyebrows. "Sure. What song do you want me to sing?" I smiled at my screen. 

"We Young!" Lily exclaimed. She didn't know song titles, but it's fine, I knew what she meant. 

"Everybody loves the things you do," I started singing When We Were Young by Adele. I listened to that song a lot when Lily was about two years old, and she has always loved it. "From the way you talk, to the way you move." I softly sang along. I am not the best singer, but it cheers Lily up, and I'd do anything for her. 

During the song, Lily slowly started to get more drowsy, her eyes were falling close. When I was done singing, she was almost sleeping. "Goodnight." I whispered as Iris took her phone out of Lily's hands. The little girl smiled at me before turning to sleep. "Thanks." Iris said. "Of course. Anything for you." I smiled at her, "Goodnight." She tiredly smiled back, "Goodnight." She hung up the call, I laid my phone down on the bed. 

"Can I ask you something?" Bojan asked as he closed the door and entered the room. "Of course." I nodded. He sat on the bed, facing me. He'd put my bag on the floor next to him. "Is Lily..." He hesitated, "Our daughter?" I can see why he would think that. I showed them a few pictures of her, as they saw her on the background of my phone. She has the same colour eyes and hair as he does, so it's not a weird assumption. 

However, I wasn't interested in explaining him the whole story. "Just read the journal." I said, nodding towards the bag. He hesitated to take it. "Just do it. The first three entries will probably answer all your questions." I sighed. Bojan grabbed the journal out of the bag, and started reading. I pulled my knees up, hugging them to my body. My chin rested on my knees, and I watched him read my sentences.

His face changed, every few lines. Sometimes he looked sad, other times he looked like he felt my pain, or he'd look pitiful. He flipped the page, and moved to the second entry. While reading it, a small smile creeped onto his lips. When he flipped to the third entry, the smile grew a little bigger, until he reached the half. His smile dropped, his eyes looked sad. I couldn't stand looking at him while he read the rest, so I rested my forehead on my knees, listening to him breathe. 

He startled me a little when he shut the book. I looked up at him. Tears had filled his eyes. See, he hates me. He hates me for killing his baby. "So... Lily is Iris' kid?" He asked. "Yeah. She found out she was pregnant just after that entry, she chose to keep it. We raised Lils together." I explained. He slowly nodded. I watched him, the pain in his eyes increasing. I hate myself too, so it's okay.

He looked at me, it felt like his pain consumed me. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "Don't say that." He said, "You shouldn't be sorry, it's not your fault." "I-" My breath caught in my throat. "You needed to, for you. And that's okay. Don't apologize for that, please. I'm not mad at you." He told me. 

"Can I read you something from the journal?" I whispered. He nodded, "Of course, but only if you're comfortable with it." I straightened my legs again and took the journal. I opened the notebook, and flipped through the entries, to get to the last one. The fact that I couldn't use one of my fingers did not help with this, but I got there.

15th of April 2018

Hi Bojan,

I think this is the last time I'll address this to you. This book is full, and I think it's better to let go of you. Iris has given birth a few days ago, to the most beautiful girl ever. She had brown eyes, they look a little like yours. But I'm okay with that. Iris called her Lily Flores (Flores is Iris' last name, I don't think I've told you that). When she told me her name, I didn't believe it at first. I don't know if you remember, but in my first entry in this book, I told you I wanted to name my daughter Lily. She didn't know. I guess our minds aligned. Or we just share the same brain cell. 

Both mother and daughter are doing great. Iris and I are going to raise Lily together, for as long as we'll live together at least. Lily's father isn't in the picture, he was some kind of hookup Iris had on vacation. It doesn't matter. 

I'm doing much better, mentally. I'm happy, and content with my situation. Iris says I should start dating again, but I don't think I will. I'm perfectly fine with just my friends. I don't miss you as much as I did, which is good. I'm still learning Slovene, but I can now do that without thinking of you. I can do most things without thinking of you, and if I do think of you I don't get as sad anymore. I don't think I'll ever forget you, though. You've had too big of an impact on my life for that.

I do hope you're okay. I hope you're still making music, and enjoying your study. And maybe we will meet again, who knows? If we do, and you do find out, I hope you won't be mad at me about our kid. At first I was not sorry, but I now do feel as if I've made the wrong choice. It was a good choice for me at the time, but now I'm not sure anymore. But this problem is over now, and irrelevant, as I don't think I will ever tell you.

For now I wish you a happy life,
Until we meet again,
Flo

I looked up at Bojan after I was done reading. I had heard him chuckle softly while I was reading, but I didn't look at him at all. He softly smiled at me. "I hope you know I'm not mad. At all. It was your choice to make, and you made a good one. We were young back then." He scooted closer to me, a reassuring smile on his face. I nodded. Bojan wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his chest. 

I heard the door softly open, Nace stood there with a grin on his face. "I was sent to check if you guys didn't kill each other, as it was silent for a while. I take it everything's right between you again?"

"Definitely." I smiled at the man.

A/N

I have so much inspiration (and time) for this story and I love itttttt