𝐻𝐸𝑅 // 𝐵𝐼𝐿𝐿𝐼𝐸 𝐸𝐼𝐿𝐼𝑆𝐻 𝐹𝐴𝑁𝐹𝐼𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁

HER: 52

emery

"you told her you love her and she said she loved you still. you both still love each other." jen said.

"yea." i nodded.

"why are you ghosting her again?"

"i don't know!" i yelled. "okay?"

"what do y—."

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" i tied my hair up into a bun at the top of my head. "what if it's a bad idea? i really bad idea."

"it's not."

"no! you don't know, can you tell the future? no you can't. shut the fuck up." i lashed out. "i'm scared to let her in again because i won't handle her leaving again."

"and who said she's leaving?"

"ME! i'm just making these senecios in my head okay? i'm overthinking and it's driving me crazy, i can't stop thinking and creating possible outcomes. good and bad, it's not necessarily bad!" i replied. "i don't have the energy for another heartbreak, i don't have the time for it either."

the door bell rang, "who the fuck is at the door now?"

"i don't know, i didn't order anything." jen frowned.

"who's there?" i called out.

"drew."

i opened the door, she had a bouquet of flowers in her hands. "they're from billie." she gave them to me. i hugged her and i let her in. as if she already knew jen was there she let herself in my room.

i took the card from the little plastic hold and read, "my mind is spiraling too, i'm going crazy here em. i hope you're doing okay. — love billie." i looked at her stupid hand writing. i used to tease her none stop about how bad it was in high school.

"you two need to stop sneaking around and making plans and being some kind of shien version of cupid." i barged into my room.

"it was just that one time, we haven't done anything beyond that." drew said. "the bouquet was really billie, she was planing on sending it over."

"i know it was her, it's her handwriting, but i bet she doesn't know you're here." i started pacing again.

"if she knew, she'd kill me."

"i know." i nodded. "i know."

"catch me up, what's going on."

"you have to promise you won't tell billie anything." i stopped and pointed at her.

"i swear, here, pinky promise." we linked our pinkies together.

"i'm scared, my mind is spiraling drew." i sighed and started pacing yet again. "okay so like, we established that we never got over each other. but we changed so much since high school, we are basically strangers in love. i don't care about that drew, we'll talk we'll get to know each other before anything, i'm sure she doesn't want to rush into it too. i mainly am scared of letting her in again and then her leaving again. i can't have her leave again, i can't have my heart broken again. i have too much going on as it is, this has to be serious. it's forever or nothing."