My guardian angel, the prequel of The world elsewhere

The Eden Diary, Page 7 to 8

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Welcome Welcome !

These chapters deals in more depth with homophobia, mental illness and trivialized racism. I wish you a good reading even if we cannot call it a good reading...

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𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐'𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚠
𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚎𝚠'𝚜

★彡

I'm tired but I still have battery power to use as a flashlight. 24%. It's stupid but I can't tell myself that I'm normal. Mom keeps saying that I'm fragile and that I'm stupid for thinking that I deserve a boy to be interested in me. I can't understand how anyone can love me either. Jessica is like the others but with something extra. She wants me to be happy but my mother makes her so bad. I don't want to lose her but she loses beauty because she becomes so stupid. I always knew her with her inventor's thoughts but my mother put her down so often.

Today, I am hospitalized for my special psychological treatment. I think I'm a little bourgeois deep down in my family.

I feel like a pretentious asshole. Who would have believed it ? Absolutely not me. I know I'm not an asshole. I hope not to be.

I see so many sad people yet when I look in the mirror, I don't see that. I see an ordinary guy with ordinary problems but now I can't smile as much as before. I have a huge knot in my stomach when I leave my room or my bubble. Silence if I don't have music on my ears. Constant stress. The world around me spins again and again without ever stopping. I feel the pressure in the hollow of my bone marrow and the sensation of losing balance when I dare to stop walking. I feel like I'm constantly disappointing.

Maybe that's why I'm alone deep down ?

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I hope that doesn't sound too much like me...

Loneliness and stress are best friends.