Sanscest One-shots (Part 2)

Christmas Gift for the Peoples

"You have to help me," Error said.

Destiny took a sip from her wine glass, this was one of the few times the god took a physical form. "Remind me, again, how you got into this situation."

So, Error began to recount his tale of woe.

Ink and Error were fighting as usual over an AU when Error tripped up Ink with a string.

"You're such a jerk," Ink said. "I should divorce you."

"We're not married," Error said.

"See. This negative attitude is why we're getting divorced," Ink chastised him.

"But we're not married!" Error exclaimed.

The creator sat on the ground, crisscross applesauce and folded his arms with a humph. "You're so mean to me. I'm gonna call my mother."

"Please don't call your mother." That would be far more frustrating than Error was willing to deal with.

"Too late," Ink said, holding up his phone to show the call screen. The destroyer started to walk away when Ink yelled after him. "I can't believe you're walking out on me! I don't want to raise our child in a broken home!"

"We've never had sex!"

"Clearly not with that attitude!"

That was how Error ended up in Reality's office. "I can't believe you're divorcing my son."

Error took a frustrated breath. "I'm not divorcing anyone."

"Oh, so now you're changing your mind?" Reality asked.

"We're not married!"

"Clearly not with that attitude." They're so much like their child. Reality sipped from an energy drink. "I'm gonna level with you, I don't understand Ink's taste in men, but you make him happy. He talks about you all the time. Don't forget, you answer to me. I can make your life very difficult, so if you divorce my son, it won't end well for you. I have replaced gods for less."

Error was incredibly frustrated. No one was listening to him, and everyone he spoke to heard about the 'divorce'.

"Do you have a death wish or something?" Nightmare asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking that?"

"Because you should not get involved with that family. They're all completely unreasonable," Nightmare explained.

"I heard that. Gossip on your own time, not mine," Reality said, setting an extra pile of paperwork in front of each of them. "This is for interrupting my meeting."

"Thanks, Error, I was actually caught up with my work for once," Nightmare complained.

Trying to argue that he wasn't the one to start the conversation, would have only ended up with both of them being put on behavioral leave, which the gods jokingly referred to as 'time out'.

Error sat stewing in silence for the rest of the god meeting. This situation was so unfair.

After the meeting, Error's supposedly soon-to-be ex-husband came up to him. "Why did you tell everyone we're getting divorced? We can't get divorced; we're not married! If we were married, I would divorce you."

"Marry me then," Ink challenged him.

"This is how I know you're crazy," The god of destruction replied. He attempted to remove himself from the situation but was once again stopped.

"Think about it. If we did get married, then you could divorce me like you want to."

Despite the flawed logic, it did make sense, and he may as well since everyone thought it anyway. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"It's alright. You're just too scared to divorce me. You might actually like being my husband," the god of creation said, clearly trying to irk him, but it wouldn't work.

"Fuck you. I'm not scared."

Ink had the most shit-eating grin possible. "Prove it."

Three weeks later, Error was really regretting being that easily tricked. His phone buzzed and he checked it, a text from Ink. 'Hi bby ;3 <3 Have good day UwU'

'How the fuck did you get this number?' Error responded.

'Mother keeps very detailed records of all the gods. I know where you live too XP'

Dear creators, he could not get divorced fast enough, but had to wait out the annulment period first. In Error's opinion, it was far too long. He went home to finally relax.

"Welcome home, hubby," Ink said, sitting on Error's couch.

"Ajdjhd What the fuck?!" Error screeched as he nearly crashed.

The god of creation cocked his head to the side. "I told you I know where you live. I moved myself in, you're welcome by the way."

That made it a lot more difficult to try and get started on the divorce process.

"So," Destiny said, magically refilling her wine glass for an uncountable time, and yet remaining to appear stone cold sober, "you want my help to divorce my grandson?"

"Pretty much," Error responded.

The god hummed and hawed for a moment. "That sounds like a mortal problem. Marriage is a construct of society and I don't control those."

"But you're the only one who can help me."

"I'm gonna level with you, Error. I like you, but I'm not looking to pick a fight with Fate or Reality. How long have you been married anyway?"

"15 years"