Sanscest One-shots (Part 2)

Totally Platonic

(I had way too much fun with this, also it's past midnight and I can't write crack past 11:30 so this got a bunch of feels at the end. This is based on my and my boyfriend's multiverse)

Dream headed to the door to leave for the day.

"Oh, hey. Are you leaving already?," Nightmare asked. It was still pretty early, which was why he was confused.

"Yeah. Celex is upset with me today, so I figured I should probably leave before I ruin any progress we made." Of course Celex was upset, all of the kids were. They took it really hard when he left, and Nightmare's overreaction did not help. Right now, Dream was trying to focus on fixing his relationships with his kids.

"You don't have to leave. Cross, Blue, and I are having dinner tonight, you should join," Nightmare offered.

"No, I wouldn't to interfere. It'd be awkward." Having dinner with his exs was awkward enough, but the day made it all the worse.

"You wouldn't be interfering. It's our wedding anniversary, yours too," Nightmare fumbled over the invitation, and the reason; the thing that seemed to always loom over their new dynamic, they were no longer married. "You should come. It was weird without you there. It won't be weird at all. It'll be like a totally platonic anniversary dinner between a married throuple and their ex, but as friends."

Ah yes, platonic, if a that's what you called a bunch of hopelessly in love idiots consistently banging their ex(s).

"That's today? I totally forgot." Dream was of course lying through his teeth, but it couldn't save him.

And that's how the four of them ended up on a picnic dinner date for their anniversary.

"So, how'd you choose this spot?," Dream asked.

"Every time we go out, Night gets bombarded by the paparazzi, so now we just pick secluded areas and have a picnic," Blue answered.

Nightmare decided to pipe up now. "Turns out being the god of peace and sleeping with your not actually dead ex makes for great headlines"

Oh, so they were bringing that up. Two can play that game, well, technically four, but who's counting? Dream was. Dream was definitely counting. "Yeah, thanks for that by the way, I have someone coming up to me and exclaiming they thought I was dead every time I go out now."

"It was a moment of bad decisions," Night tried to defend himself.

"It as an entire funeral and a statue."

Cross finally decided to involve himself in the conversation. "You should start charging to autograph the obituaries he handed out."

"I'm trying to forget. Don't remind me."

"Could be worse, you could be getting hounded by the press for trying to kill Nightmare that one time," Blue offered.

Dream felt embarrassed, he couldn't actually figure out which time Blue was referring to. The first one that came to mind was when he originally got back and almost took out Nightmare because he had no idea he was the god of peace. Supposedly Blue didn't know about that one, so that probably wasn't it. It might be the time when they were still fighting and he almost went through with actually trying to kill him a couple times. He was snapped out of his thoughts by Night talking.

"It was fine, really. Don't even worry about it. I totally get it. I would have tried to kill me too. If I was in your situation, I mean. Not that I wouldn't die for you right now. I should just stop talking." That came out vastly more desperate and concerning than he intended.

Blue stared at his husband who was completely floundering and for a minute he would almost rather be bugging Dust for child support again. Luckily his other husband was there to save the day by changing the subject.

"So, are you seeing anyone?," Cross asked Dream. Somehow the topic he picked was almost as bad.

"I've been on a couple dates, had a few hookups, nothing serious. It's kinda hard to date when the whole multiverse thinks you're either dead or Nightmare's on call whore. Plus, I need the kids to get used to the idea of us not being together," Dream replied. That last part was kinda hard to do when he was always hanging around with his ex-husbands, and all of that was without bringing up the whole reincarnation thing where he and Nightmare had previously been lovers, or the clone thing, no the other clone thing, or the... you know what if all the things were listed this would go on forever. Never before had a relationship been so complicated.

There were so many things all of them wished they could apologize for, unfortunately they don't make 'Sorry I was a piece of shit and caused you to have a mental breakdown' cards, but if they did they'd be right next to the 'Sorry for disappearing for a year, accidentally becoming an assassin, and then sleeping with your husbands' cards. Fortunately, it doesn't count as home wrecking when you sleep with all members of a relationship. It was a bit of a problem that they didn't discuss it with each other first, but at this point it didn't really matter.

Blue held out a container of pasta salad. "Try some, Cross made it."

"There is no way Cross made that. It actually looks halfway decent," Dream said.

"Hey, I'm right here," Cross protested.

"I have seen you forget to drain the water when making a boxed Mac and cheese; excuse me for having little faith in your cooking ability."

Nightmare piped up again. "Actually, he's gotten way better. Obviously Blue has been helping, but a lot changed when you were gone."

That was true, in some ways they all seemed so different now, a bit wiser, calmer, better communicators, but in other ways, it felt like nothing had changed at all.

The four of them sat and ate and talked for what felt like hours, the only gauge of time being the setting sun.

"Do you remember our wedding?" Cross asked, not to anyone in particular.

Night groaned. "It was such a disaster."

Dream laughed. "That is the understatement of the century. How did you all not notice it wasn't me? I was such a bitch all the time, you should have been suspicious when everyone commented about how nice I was being."

"We were just blinded I guess. I wanted you to be happy so badly that I just didn't question it," Blue responded. "Although, crashing your own wedding was pretty badass."

"Yeah it was."

Dream and Blue looked over at Nightmare and Cross, who were kissing. Yep, this whole thing had been so platonic.

Blue leaned in so he was resting his forehead against Dream's. A small act of comfort. They stayed like that for a minute before Blue moved so they sat side by side. Nightmare and Cross quickly joined, sitting on Dream's other side.

Dream stared at the ring he now wore on his right hand, opposite of where it had been over a year ago. He loved them. That had never changed.

———
Just about everything that was mentioned here actually happened in the story, we've been doing this for like 5 years, so a lot of stuff has happened.

This was just a fun idea that I got a bit too invested in at the end. Their relationship is so dysfunctional that it somehow works and is cute.

See ya, imaginary people