Sanscest One-shots (Part 2)

What Card Game is This Anyway

(We love polyships here, especially chaotic ones. Requested by @Yoai_Fan idk why but Blue has the top privilege in this relationship)

Blue's POV

I have a problem, well more like two problems, namely Ink and Dream my dumb-as-rocks boyfriends. Dream isn't that bad on his own but with Ink, they do more damage than all of the bad guys combined.

I shouldn't have been surprised when I found them hanging from the ceiling hurling paint at each other but I was. No, they weren't on anything but god I wish they were. The sad truth is, I'm just dating little grown man babies.

Why do I have to be the responsible one?
Suddenly, I realized just what I had walked into. I looked at Dream and Ink who had through some level of magic fuckery, managed to be standing on the ceiling. "What and How?!"

Ink bent down/up? I really don't know and banged against his leg. "Metal boots, magnetic ceiling. Whoever said that Legend of Zelda is unrealistic was wrong."

"Get down here this instant"

"I thought you were my boyfriend, not my babysitter"

"Well, it's practically the same thing when you act like this"

Dream finally decided to jump in the conversation. "Pretty sure that's child abuse, but ok."

I look at him, throughly unamused. "You both are hopeless, and I'm not cooking for you unless you get your butts down here right now." Thankfully that was all it took, because the last time they tried to make food, Ink nearly burned the house down by forgetting to add water to ramen noodles. And when I got home, he and Dream were snorting the flavor packets, as the kitchen was on fire.

Why do I have to be attracted to stupid?

Ink turned off the magnets so he and Dream fell onto the floor. "What were you two doing up there?"

"We we're playing a game," Dream answered.

"What kind of game?" I got two equally blank stares, like a lizard with its single brain cell bouncing around in the head like a Windows screensaver. "How about you just show me?"

They took a ready stance, cards in hand.

Ink took the first turn. "Go, Blue-Eyes White Dragon."

"Pikachu, I choose you."

"Stand my Vanguard; Buster Blader."

"Legendary Titan of champions, Pendragon. Attack Ink"

"You activated my trap card, Uno reverse."

"Well, I activate the spell, I don't care."

"I say no. Screw the rules I have money."

"Well then, Queen of hearts."

They kept going until I finally interrupted once my laughing fit was over. "What card game is this anyway?"

They botched looked at me and in perfect unison said. "It's Magic; the Gathering, duh"

I swear, I'm going to break up with them one of these days.

———
This was fun to write. I may or may not have been playing Yugioh while writing this. Anyway, see ya, imaginary people