Finding My Own

20. In Sickness and In Health

I was hating myself right about now. Sebastian had just left for work and I had been trying my hardest not to cough. Stacey had warned me about this. I hadn't listened, because I haven't gotten sick in months. The last time I was sick, it didn't feel like nothing had changed. Now I feel like someone was trying to drive a truck on my skull.

Maybe I should call Sebastian back to take care of me. I'm sure he'd be more than willing. His boss has had him all over the place recently. Everyone needs a break sometimes. Even if it's to take care of someone else. I'd drop everything just to take care of Sebastian. I think he knows that.

I think I might call his boss instead. It seems logical. I know Sebastian hates answering his phone on the job. I'll just check in with his boss and see if it's alright to hog him for the day. Sometimes I feel like I haven't had a day alone with him in a while.

"I was wondering when you were going to pop in again, Roxanne."

"Hey, Donnie."

"How are you? You sound a bit sick."

"I've only spoken two words to you, how can you tell?"

"I know a sick woman when I hear one. Where's Sebastian?"

Why's he asking me that? I should be the one asking that.

"I thought he was working," I muttered. "I was calling to see if I could hog him for the rest of the day."

"...He never came in today, Roxanne," Donnie said.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I am. I'm the one who checks everyone in and out. He never signed in. I know I worked him half to death over the past couple of weeks, so I offered him a paid vacation."

"For how long?"

"A week. Tomorrow is his last day. I for sure thought he was out with you all the time."

And this is exactly why women have trouble trusting men. They go and do something like this. I haven't been able to sit down and have a normal conversation with him in forever. Why would he use up all his vacation time to do something without me? What did I ever do to him?

"Thank you, Donnie," I said. "I must be really sick. It slipped my mind completely."

"No problem, Roxanne. You take care of yourself. Call me back if he isn't looking after you properly." Donnie laughed.

Yeah, I definitely will. Sebastian had better hope my memory loss kicks in or I'm definitely going to get him back for this. No one lies to me and gets away with it.

I took some medicine and a shower before heading downstairs. I still wasn't feeling so hot, so I tried making some peppermint tea and something to snack on. I hoped by noon I'd feel a little better. Some true crime ought to cheer me up. Or at least occupy my mind and distract it from my pounding headache.

"--sure about what to do, so we headed up as fast as we could. The drive was long, but it gave all of us time to compare ideas and try to get a little closer to solving this case."

"Detective Howard and his team crossed state lines and the race was on. Upon their arrival, Howard and his team headed straight for the crime scene. If there was one place they needed to be, it was where it all ended."

Ugh, why is this so boring?

I stared up at the ceiling and sighed. I can't focus on anything. Sebastian is out there doing God knows what and I'm here confused as to why he hasn't told me about his break. I don't want to think he's cheating on me, but that's the first thing that comes to mind. What is he doing and why hasn't he said anything?

A knock on the front door startled me from my stupor. I sat up on the couch and sighed. There's no need to rush. It's not like I have important things to do today. Mr. Whitlock said he would catch me up on everything later. Cooper and his little friends won't get away just because I missed one day of work.

The knock came again. This time it was more frantic and loud. Can't they just wait? I could be in the bathroom or something. If they really need me, then they should have called beforehand. I don't usually have unannounced visitors. Even on my days off.

"Roxanne, are you okay?"

I squinted at the living room entrance. What's Elijah doing here? I thought he was busy with school and handing out assignments. I haven't seen him since our lunch together. Even then, it wasn't that long ago. Kind of feels like it.

"Hey." He rushed over and kneeled in front of me. "You don't look too hot. Stacey said it was a simple cold. You really should have worn socks."

"It was warm in the house," I muttered. "I wasn't thinking about it until we were outside. Besides...I barely felt the chill."

"It wasn't chilly last night. I know it still feels like Summer to you, but it's getting colder this Fall than it got last year. We might be looking at snow this Winter."

"...And?"

"I'll make you some soup."

"Eli, I'm fine. It is just a cold. I can manage well on my own. You don't have to care so much."

Elijah seemed to pull back from me. I raised a brow in question. What? I was being serious. It's not like I'm dying or anything. I know how to take care of myself. I've been sick away from home before. There's nothing a little tea and sleep can't do. I'll be perfectly fine in the morning. Fine enough to see the look on Cooper's face when he finally gets caught.

"Where's Sebastian?" he asked.

"...Why do you want to know?" I crossed my arms. "You're the last person who should be asking about him."

"He's your boyfriend. Shouldn't he be here taking care of you? It makes sense."

"Ah, well, I don't know where the bastard is, so I'm here alone. I guess his paid vacation shouldn't be wasted on someone like me."

"The soup. I'll get right on it."

What is he really up to?

That's the question that keeps running through my head. What is he doing that's too important to tell me he's not working for a week? I trust him with everything. I've never questioned his loyalty to me. Now that I think about it, Jocelyn has been a bit quiet since the beach incident. I got her back about that a long time ago, but I was sure she'd have something more to say about it all. It's a bit suspicious.

I didn't feel the tears coming until it was too late. I couldn't stop them from crashing down my cheeks. I've always hated crying when other people are around. It's always loud and it makes me feel like I'm looking for attention. Each time that's happened, people leave me and always assume I'm some sort of pick-me girl.

Elijah came to my rescue, but he didn't know what to do. I could tell he wanted to hug me, but he didn't know how I would react. I don't like people touching me when I'm like this, but I needed a hug. I needed someone to lie and tell me that everything was going to be fine.

"I--Uh--I don't know...Are you okay? Was it something I did?" He seemed genuinely concerned for me. That made me sob harder. "Roxanne, I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."