Finding My Own

9. A Man of Interest

"Elijah," I said without hesitation. "Wait! I wasn't ready."

"Nah, don't try to play it off now." She laughed and put her coffee down. "You can't lie to me and say it isn't anymore. You like him, but you don't know if you'll ever see him again."

"I don't like him! I just think he's...interesting."

"Lies. Roxanne, you know I can tell when you're trying hard to believe whatever comes out of your mouth."

"But, I--"

Stacey put a hand up and sighed. "I can't call myself your friend if I can't tell when you're lying. Elijah has caught your eye, but you don't want to admit it. You still want to believe you're madly in love with just Sebastian."

"Whaaat!" I grabbed the orange juice she'd ordered for me and took a huge gulp. I was not in love with Sebastian.

"Admit it, you like Elijah, but Sebastian hugging on you last night has you thinking you'll end up like your college self again."

How does she know?!

"No."

"Roxie..."

"Stacey, you know how loyal I can be."

"Or do I?"

Jocelyn seemed a bit preoccupied when we all finally gathered for dinner. I wasn't deeply concerned, but it was getting in the way of me enjoying dinner. She kept glancing at Sebastian, who barely noticed her presence. Did they know something I didn't know? Did she do something I didn't know about? I tried ignoring it, but even Stacey had something to say about it.

"I think someone has a little crush on Sebastian," she muttered in my ear.

"If she does, can I kill her?" I asked.

"Do what you like, but remember that he's only as good as you make him seem to be."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you make him seem like a great person, Jocelyn is going to want a piece of him. Even then, she goes after anyone who shows any interest in anyone else."

I had to laugh at that. Jocelyn can be a bit desperate when it comes to men. She's even worse than Stacey, and that's saying something. I've seen her with a guy who had no money, but had a reputation among the ladies. He gives you anything you want without question, but drops you the moment he finds someone more interesting. Good thing I hadn't been in need of a man when I moved here. Being indifferent saved me the trouble of losing my dignity.

I tried ignoring the look she was giving Sebastian and turned my attention to the window. People were walking by in bathing suits and laughing. I wish that was me. Except I wouldn't be with Stacey and her friends. I'd find some random group I fit in with and go from there.

I hadn't been staring for long when I noticed Elijah. Or at least I think I did. No one can forget a guy with the most perfect tan and the brightest smile. He had his arms around two other women, but that's not the point. He's perfect and I want him. I need him.

"Fine!" I exclaimed. "I want him! I can't help it. My college days are coming back to haunt me. I can't do this anymore."

"You're not really dating Sebastian, you know that, right?" Stacey reminded me. "I'm pretty sure you haven't even had a dream about him recently."

"About who?"

"Right?"

"About who? You have to tell me who or I won't know."