Finding My Own

9. A Man of Interest

"You know who. I don't have to say a name."

"Well, I haven't. Doesn't matter who you're talking about."

"Jack..."

I almost lunged across the table. THAT WAS ONE TIME! I feel like I was genuinely obsessed with Jack when I had his undivided attention. He treated me just right, but I didn't know it was because he did the same to five other girls at the same time. I knew we weren't exclusive, but you'd think he'd go easy on me since I was his sister's naive best friend. Of course, you can't forget the multiple wet dreams I'd had about him. Ones I shouldn't have told Stacey about.

"Look, that was one time. I swear!" I pouted. "You know how I can get whenever I'm given too much attention."

"Trust me, Rox, I know." Stacey grinned. "Since Jocelyn isn't going to join us until after lunch, I was thinking we grab the girls and go swimming. Many of the college guys are gonna be there. Maybe Professor Hottie will be, too."

"You really think a professor is going to be at a party in the daytime?"

"Hey, I can dream, can't I?"

"Yeah, well keep dreaming, because it'll never happen."

"Well, if that's never gonna happen, you're never gonna see Elijah ever again."

My heart jumped in my throat. Never! Like forever never? I don't think I can handle that. I know I barely know him, but he's so interesting. So mysterious. It's like he knows he can get a woman without even trying hard. Will I end up heartbroken in the end? I don't know. For some reason, I feel like I can trust him if I get to know him a little more. All I can do now is hope I run into him again. And soon.

"I was just kidding," I exclaimed. "It was only a joke."

"Mhm." Stacey laughed. "Let's get going. I want to be without Jocelyn for as long as possible."

Preach it.

I found myself searching the beach for Elijah. He wasn't a hard guy to spot, but I couldn't find him anywhere. Maybe he never existed. Maybe I just imagined someone. I've done it before. This is so frustrating. Even without Jocelyn around, I felt like my luck with men was running out. I sighed.

"Can't find him, can you?" Stacey asked.

"Nope. He's like a ghost," I complained.

"You know what I think?"

"I don't want to know. Every time you think something, it comes true. If you say something stupid, I'm gonna cry."

"...What if your Elijah and my professor are one and the same?"

I knew she was going to do that. Every single time. It's like she knows exactly what to say to make me anxious. What if she's right? I can't just assume she's wrong just because I don't want her to be right. That actually makes so much sense. It would explain why we haven't seen either guy we supposedly spoke to last night.

"I'm gonna kill you," I muttered.

"Just something to think about, sugar." She chuckled.

"Hey, guys!" Mia and Nisha stood over us. "We're going to the snack shack, you want anything?"

"...No."

"Water." Stacey got up. "Actually, lemme go with you guys. We'll be back, Roxie."

"Mhm, whatever." I put on my sunglasses and closed my eyes.

With them gone, I enjoyed listening to the sounds of people laughing and playing. It reminded me of the times LeAnn and I used to sneak out of the house together. This was before she left me behind. Before I stopped being interested in going out with my family. As middle children, our parents rarely kept up with us. We could disappear for hours before they finally remembered they had four kids instead of two.

Stacey and her friends came back a little too quickly from the snack shack. They began talking about Jocelyn and what she'd been up to for the past couple of months. I pretended to be asleep, but I wanted to find out everything I could about her life. She seemed to know so much about mine.

"I called Tyrone last night and he said she'd just left his house," Nisha was saying. "I know for a fact she said she hated him, so I don't know what she was doing there."

"We all know what she was doing," Stacey muttered.

"I know, right? He honestly thought I wasn't going to think that. She's trouble and he knows it. The only reason we keep her around is to keep the guys at bay."

"Omg, really?" Mia exclaimed. "I never knew that. I thought it was to keep the guys coming."

"No, honey." Stacey laughed. "Jocelyn is anything but a guy magnet. Everyone here knows what she's like. I know you and Roxie think she can get any guy she wants at any time, but when you've lived in the same city with her since diapers, you know how she can be."

"Do you think that's why Roxie's boyfriend didn't bat an eye at her yesterday? He seemed sort of reserved and barely acknowledged her presence."

"Maybe. No one really knows where he even came from. Maybe he moved here just like Roxanne did. Him not paying attention to Jocelyn, proves that he has taste."

"Or he's just good at hiding what he really likes," Nisha cut in.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know that happened to me when I introduced my boyfriend to you guys. He seemed pretty interested in me, then Jocelyn kept pulling him away from me. He acted indifferent whenever he joined our outings just to keep me from figuring out what he had been doing behind my back for weeks."

"I don't think Sebastian would do that to Roxanne. He knows what she stands for. I've even told him to watch what he does. I've seen Roxie go wild when things don't go her way."

That's not entirely true.